Bastard

I don't even know my real name.

The name that my mother gave me when I was born if she even gave me one at all. My name, or at least, what the worker gave me, Luke. That's it. Just Luke. I don't have a surname. 

The worker told me that I was left here by my mother or something, but I had already forgotten the details. Well, not like I care anyway. I already lost all hope when I knew that my mother abandoned me here. 

My father? It'd be a surprise if he even knows me at all. Fuck that guy, he could die for all I care. I don't really know what happened with my family, but all I know is that they could all rot in hell.

I grew up in an orphanage called "Bright Orphanage." The only thing bright about it is the light bulbs in the Founder's office. The bulbs in the kid's rooms are pathetic, barely able to shine out enough light to read even just 20 inches away. I lived here for 15 years of my pathetic life in this shitty orphanage. The food is shit, the bed is shit, everything is just shit. I've fucking had enough. The only thing that keeps me alive is the idea of a family. I want to be a father so bad. I want to be the father I never had, but now, I'm not sure.

For weeks, I went through the same routine over and over again. I brushed my teeth with a 15-year-old toothbrush, they didn't even bother to buy us new ones. We ate in the same old room, where we all ate our breakfast, a bowl of porridge. The bowl was cold, but the food was hot. It was a weird contrast. The taste was mediocre at best, but I ate it anyway. 

We finished our daily prayer when one kid came up to talk to me. He looked a lot younger than me, like 10 years old or something. He asked me, "Hey, do you wanna be a hero?" 

Huh? I was obviously confused, who the hell would start a conversation like that, but I nodded in response. He smiled warmly, I couldn't help but feel a little bit warm as well, seeing his innocent little eyes. I patted his head, his hair was quite soft. I told him, "Go talk to the other guys, kid." He nodded and ran away.

I just shrugged, "Weirdo." I softly chuckled as I retreated back to my room.

...

One night, I was reading a book. The snores and occasional farts and coughs are so annoying, but that didn't stop me from reading this book.

The book was for children, it was called "A Man and a Fox." The same book I've been reading for years now. Its pages are already crumbling, tearing it would probably feel like a hot knife through butter. But even though it's already in its last life, I could not stop myself from reading it again and again. I just loved it so much. 

The story? Well, it goes like this.

...

A man was walking through the woods, when all of a sudden, a fox sprang out of a bush. The man flinched back, and the fox asked him, "Do you have meat, mister? I am very hungry." The man was hungry as well, so hungry, he could eat just about everything right now. Then, he had an idea. He replied to the fox, "I have meat in my house, follow me." They walked along the road until they finally reached the man's house. The house was beyond repair, the roof already had a hole in it, and rubbles sprawled around the building. The man opened the door and gestured for the fox to come in. The fox entered, but little did it know, that the man was planning to eat him all this time. The man raised an axe, aimed at the fox's head when all of a sudden, a wooden plank from the roof fell and hit the man's head. The man was knocked out. With the opportunity handed to him, the fox devoured the man.

The End.

...

I've read this book for at least a hundred times now, but even then, I still couldn't help but ask.

A children's book? Are you sure? Well, not like I care anyway, it was fun to read. And what's with that timing? A wooden plank just fell at the right time? But even with all of those problems about this book, there's just something about it that's so...

...

Does fate know when a bad guy appears? Like, the man who took advantage of the fox's hunger to satiate his hunger, was hit at the perfect timing. Was it perhaps karma? For tricking an innocent fox? I can't stop asking questions.

I felt something when I first read this book. I felt the need to be a good guy. I don't want to end up like the man in the story. I don't like bad guys.

It's like what that kid said earlier, I want to protect all the innocent.

I wanna be a hero.