Doubt

I sat in the garden with Callum as I practiced Erries. It wasn't that difficult because of Callum's teaching methods. After much practice, I could recognize some words, but I still couldn't construct a sentence.

"I don't think I want to learn Erries anymore," I complained.

"Why?" Callum asked.

"It's pointless and annoying; I'm tired of it," I said.

"You stay in Erries; you should at least learn the language," he replied, and I sighed, relaxing my head on the table.

"It's not like I'd be allowed to go anywhere," I mumbled. "Callum," I called, looking up.

"What?"

"Tell me what you know," I said.

"Well, I am trying to do that, but you are not paying attention. It's not tough if you…"

"No, I mean about me," I interrupted. "Tell me what you know. How was I before, you know, I lost my memories?" I asked.

"Well, I met you a few months after you came here when you said you wanted to learn Erries." Because I wasn't feeling safe around people that spoke a language I didn't understand. "If I should describe you, I'd say you were optimistic about anything book-related, but past that… that was it." That sounded like an insult.

"You always spoke of how much you missed home and your sister and that you just wanted to go back. At some point, you just kept speaking of Garhian," he said.

"I did?"

"Yes."

"But I went there, right?" I asked, feeling suspicious.

"I don't know. You didn't tell me where you were going, but you did go somewhere for a few weeks," he said. A few weeks? Garhian is a few months' journey from Erries, so that isn't valid either. "Why are you asking suddenly?"

"I'm just curious," I said with a light smile.

"You should ask your maids these things, not me. We only saw each other once in a while," he said. Kyra works for Kael; she's not completely trustworthy. Callum is the closest thing I have to a friend in this place, and he seems reasonable—reasonable enough to do the selfish thing I want to ask for.

"I just want to know everyone's perspective of me," I said.

"You didn't change at all," he said.

"Good to know," I said, looking around casually. "But I'm curious, Callum, do you think you're trustworthy?" I asked, and he stiffened. Why did he stiffen? Does he think I'd ask for something impossible? Well, I would, but did he catch on?

"Trustworthy?" he asked.

"Yeah, do you?"

"I believe I'm not one to betray people easily," he said.

"Interesting… not one to betray people, huh?" I exclaimed.

"Why do you ask?" Callum asked, studying me.

"I wanted to know if I can trust you," I said.

"I'm sure you can trust everyone here. You are the queen, after all; no one will…"

"Do you really believe that, or are you saying rehearsed lines?" I asked, and he sighed.

"I do not," he said.

"So can I trust you?" I asked.

"You can indeed trust me, Lilien," he said, and my head hurt a bit. Why do I react to some words?

"Then can you do something for me?" I asked.

"Depends on what it is," he said, looking uncomfortable.

"I want to leave here. I need to get to Garhian," I said, and he frowned.

"Why don't you ask his majesty?"

"Because I don't trust anyone. I need to speak to my sister; she'd be able to clarify why I'm here," I said.

"So you want me to help you run away," he said to confirm.

"Yes," I replied.

"Lilien, I…" he sighed and stood up. "I won't mention this to anyone," he said and left.

…

I sat in front of Callum, studying his every move. He avoided me for a few days but had to come back eventually.

"So?" I asked.

"So what?" he asked, looking at the note in front of him.

"Are you going to pretend that I didn't ask you to…"

"Your majesty, you are asking me to commit suicide," he said.

"No one will know you helped me. I don't know my way outside the palace; I just need to be directed to where I can get a carriage, and I'm fine," I pleaded.

"I'll leave for today," he said, standing up, but I grabbed his hand.

"You don't have to, it's fine," I said.

"Look, it's not that I don't want to help you, but…" he sighed and looked around. "His majesty could have people watching every second of the day. If we're doing this, the timing has to be right. I like you, Lilien, but helping you puts both of us in danger," he said.

"Makes sense," I said, looking down.

"I'll have to speak to a friend," he said, standing up.

I smiled and stood up as well. If I can get out of here and get to Garhian, then I can speak to Lucy and get some clarity. I can't afford to just waste away with uncertainty. That is something an extra will do, but this female lead needs the truth. I walked to my room and went to write the new updates.

If I successfully escape Kael, then that's a big break for my story. Maybe there'd be a time skip when I'm traveling. Then the awaited reunion and… my head is taking a million leaps. I can't believe I have a chance at an escape.

I woke up feeling uncertain about everything and everyone, but I met the one person that looked trustworthy and is willing to help me. I just hope I don't cause Callum any problems. If I can get to Lucy, everything will be sorted, and if I'm in trouble, then I can get safety. Should I ask Callum to come with me? He'd be safer if he does.

I'd save the question for the running away scene.

'Come with me,' I'd say, looking worried.

'No, you go alone,' Callum will say, pushing me away.

"Gosh, I should write a book," I said, laughing.