[17] Dreams and Nightmares
I jolted awake, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst from my chest. Sweat drenched my shirt, and I gasped for air like a drowning man. The phantom pain in my chest lingered, a ghostly reminder of bullets that never truly pierced my flesh.
"Akira?" I felt Marin shift beside me, then her warm hands cupped my face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
I swallowed hard, trying to slow my breathing. "I'm fine," I managed to croak out. "Just need some water."
Marin's thumbs stroked my cheeks. "You're shaking," she whispered.
I pulled away, swinging my legs over the side of the futon. "It was just a dream," I said, more to myself than to her. "Nothing to worry about."
As I stumbled to the kitchen, Marin's worried gaze burned into my back. I gulped down a glass of water, willing my hands to steady.
With that not working I went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, trying to wash away the lingering images of the nightmare. Hidetora's sneering face, the searing pain in my chest, the thick taste of blood in my mouth... I shook my head, water droplets flying.
Get a grip. That life is over. You're not that pathetic kid anymore, dancing on Hidetora's strings. You're Akira now. Rising star, man of mystery.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Violet eyes bore into mine, searching for cracks in the façade. I couldn't afford to show weakness. Not when I was so close to getting everything I'd ever wanted.
Fame, fortune, the adoration of millions. It was all within my grasp. I just had to keep smiling, keep making them love me. Easy, right?
But even as I told myself that, a small voice whispered in the back of my mind. Would it be enough? Would all the glitz and glamour fill the gaping void inside me? Or would I still feel as empty and broken as I did in my past life?
I gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles turning white. No. I wouldn't let those doubts consume me. I was in control now. I called the shots. And I'd be damned if I let anything or anyone take that away from me.
Marin's face flashed through my mind. Her bright smile, her unwavering faith in me. She was the one thing in this world that felt real, felt right. I couldn't lose her. I wouldn't.
Marin was mine. My light in the darkness, my anchor in the chaos. I needed her like I needed air. And I'd destroy anyone who tried to take her from me.
I took a deep breath, forcing my grip to relax. Easy, Hoshino. Don't scare her off with that intensity. Just keep being the charming, mysterious Akira she adores. Keep her close, keep her safe.
I splashed more water on my face, washing away the last traces of the nightmare. I had to be strong, for Marin's sake. I couldn't let her see the cracks in my armor.
Squaring my shoulders, I slipped back into room. Marin was sitting up.
"Hey," I said softly, sliding back under the covers. "Sorry I worried you."
She immediately wrapped her arms around me, hugging me close. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, her voice muffled against my chest.
I stroked her hair, marveling at how perfectly she fit in my arms. Like she was made for me. "Nah, it was just a dumb dream. Nothing important."
Marin pulled back slightly, studying my face. "You sure? You seemed really shaken up."
I forced a smile, tapping her nose playfully. "Positive. Now, let's get some sleep. We've got a big date tomorrow, remember?"
Her eyes lit up, all traces of worry vanishing. "Yes! I can't wait!" She snuggled back into my chest, sighing contentedly.
I held her close, breathing in her sweet scent. This was what I needed. This warmth, this connection.
{Marin's POV}
I woke up to the sound of traffic outside, sunlight peeking through the blinds. Akira was still asleep next to me, his chest rising and falling softly. I propped myself up on one elbow, watching him.
He looked so peaceful like this. No mysterious smirk or intense gaze - just Akira. My Akira.
I reached out to brush a strand of hair from his forehead, then stopped myself. I didn't want to wake him. Instead, I just looked at him, taking in every detail.
His lips were slightly parted, soft breaths escaping. Even asleep, he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.
But it wasn't just his looks that drew me to him. Akira made me feel safe in a way no one else ever had. When he held me, it was like nothing bad could touch me.
I thought back to that night at the photoshoot, how he'd protected me without hesitation. Most guys would have taken advantage, but not Akira. He was different. Special.
And funny too, in his own dry way. I smiled, remembering how he'd deadpanned his way through our manga reading session. The way his eyes crinkled when he was trying not to laugh at one of my jokes.
Akira shifted in his sleep, arm reaching out. I scooted closer, letting him pull me against his chest. His warmth enveloped me, and I sighed contentedly.
This felt right. Like I belonged here, with him.
I knew Akira had his secrets. Sometimes I caught glimpses of sadness in his eyes, or tension in the set of his shoulders. But I didn't care. Whatever his past held, I wanted to be part of his future.
As I lay there, I became increasingly aware of Akira's body pressed against mine. I could feel every contour of his chest and abdomen. Emboldened, I began tracing my fingers along his torso, exploring the dips and ridges of his muscles.
A heat stirred inside me, a yearning I'd never felt before. My fingers continued their journey, dipping lower, skimming just above the waistband of his pajama pants. Akira murmured in his sleep but didn't wake.
I knew I should stop, that I was crossing a line, but I couldn't seem to help myself. "I love you, Akira-kun," I whispered.
{Akira's POV}
"I love you, Akira-kun," Marin murmured.
My eyes shot open as adrenaline flooded my system. Did she just...? No, she must be dreaming or something. Talking in her sleep about someone else.
But when I risked a glance down, Marin's eyes were open, soft and vulnerable. She stared at me for a breathless moment before her cheeks turned scarlet.
"Oh geez, I ruined it!" She sat up quickly, smacking her own forehead. "Stupid Marin! I had this whole perfect confession planned for our date today!"
I propped myself up on one elbow, pulse still hammering. "Wait, you...have feelings for me?"
Marin buried her face in her hands. "Ugh, yes! I wanted to finally tell you today at the planetarium. I had this speech all prepared about how you're like the stars to me, distant yet beautiful, lighting up my sky, blah blah blah..."
She peeked at me between her fingers. "But I woke up and you just looked so handsome sleeping there, and my heart got all melty, and...yeah. I kinda word-vomited."
I gently pried her hands away from her flaming cheeks.
"Hey," I said softly. "It's okay. I'm not upset."
Marin bit her lip. "You're not?"
"No. Surprised, yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean, I'm kind of a mess, in case you hadn't noticed. And you're..."
I gestured helplessly. "Well, you. Sweet and funny and talented and beautiful. You shine brighter than any star."
Where had that come from? I wasn't used to being so open. But Marin had a way of unraveling my layers, one by one.
She gazed at me, eyes impossibly soft. "You really think that about me?"
I cleared my throat, feeling suddenly shy. "Yeah. I do."
Marin threw her arms around my neck, hugging me fiercely. "Oh Akira, you're such a sweet talker!" She pulled back, smiling impishly. "Maybe I should mess up my confession more often if it gets you to open up."
I rolled my eyes, the tension broken. "Yeah, yeah. Don't let it go to your head."
She giggled, then her expression turned serious again. "But really...how do you feel? About me?"
How did I feel? It was like trying to capture the sea in a cup. Vast and deep and overwhelming.
So instead of speaking, I drew her close and brought my lips to hers in a gentle kiss. Marin made a small sound of surprise before melting against me. My senses flooded with the sweetness of her strawberry lip gloss, the silkiness of her hair between my fingers, the pounding of my own heartbeat.
When we finally broke apart, Marin's eyes were bright. "Well, I guess that answers that question," she said with a breathless laugh.
Then she pouted adorably. "But you still messed up my big romantic confession, you brute!"
"Alright, I'm sorry for jumping the gun," I said, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek. "How about you still tell me all about your epic confession plan over breakfast?"
Marin's eyes lit up. "Ooh yes, let's do that!" She bounced out of bed, energy restored. "I'll make us something yummy!"
I followed her out to the kitchen, lips still tingling from our kiss. Things felt different between us now, like a door had been opened that couldn't be shut again.
As we cooked breakfast together, Marin chatted happily about the elaborate confession she'd concocted involving a meteor shower, homemade bento boxes, and a scavenger hunt across Tokyo.
Over pancakes, I took Marin's hand, looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry I ruined your big surprise," I said. "But I promise, our first real date will be amazing. I'll plan something you'll never forget."
Marin's eyes sparkled. "You mean it?"
I lifted her hand to my lips. "Absolutely. You deserve the most magical night ever. And I intend to deliver."
Marin threw her arms around me in a fierce hug. "Akira, you're the sweetest!" She pulled back, smiling. "I can't wait to see what you come up with. I just know it'll be perfect."
Her faith in me kindled a warm glow in my chest. I wanted to be the person she believed me to be. I wanted to make her happy.
After breakfast, we curled up on the futon to watch TV. Marin nestled against me, head resting on my shoulder. I draped an arm around her, marveling at how perfectly she fit against me.
Onscreen, the characters were locked in a passionate embrace. Marin sighed dreamily. "Isn't love the best?"
She tilted her face up towards mine. I hesitated only a moment before giving in and kissing her again, deeper this time. Marin responded eagerly, tangling her hands in my hair.
We melted together, the outside world fading away. My senses were flooded with Marin - her floral shampoo, her strawberry lip gloss, the warmth of her skin. It was intoxicating, addictive. I never wanted it to end.
But eventually we had to come up for air. Marin's cheeks were endearingly flushed, her lips kiss-swollen. She gazed at me with such open adoration it made my chest ache.
"Akira," she breathed. "You make me feel...everything."
Before I could respond, she straddled my lap, kissing me hungrily. I froze up briefly in surprise before my hands settled on the curve of her hips. I was drowning in sensation, losing myself in Marin's kiss. My fingers flexed against the soft cotton of her pajamas, itching to explore further.
Her tongue danced with mine, clumsy but enthusiastic. I could practically taste her excitement, her innocence. It was intoxicating, but dangerous. I knew how quickly a spark could turn into a wildfire.
I pulled back gently, her eyes were glazed, pupils blown wide. Yeah, she was gone. Gone for good if I wanted her to be.
"Easy there, tiger," I murmured, my voice rough. "We've got all day."
"But Akira..." she breathed, her breath hot on my neck. "I want you. Now."
Her words, so raw and honest, sent a shiver down my spine. This was new territory for me. Sure, I'd played the seduction game countless times before. But back then, it had been a performance, a calculated manipulation. This...this felt different.
Marin's hands roamed my chest, her touch tentative yet demanding. I shifted, pinning her beneath me. Her eyes widened, but she didn't resist.
"Trust me?" I asked.
She nodded, a slow smile spreading on her face. "Always."
That's all the confirmation I needed.
This wasn't about me. Not anymore. This was about Marin. I was going to make this good for her. Better than good.
"Close your eyes," I whispered, already mapping out a strategy in my head.
She obeyed instantly, long lashes fluttering against her cheeks. I took a moment to study her face, committing every detail to memory. The delicate curve of her jaw, the way her lips were still slightly parted in anticipation.
She was beautiful. Breathtaking. And I was going to make sure she never forgot this moment.