The Lady Of Tolerance

From birth, Elysia had seen that her family was poor. Her father struggled to manage the family's finances, and under pressure, he married Elysia off to Raiden. Raiden's financial situation was better than her family's at the time and remained so.

Although there was a significant age difference between them, Elysia didn't complain.

She endured Raiden's abuse and their early marriage without protest, striving to keep everyone happy.

Despite her efforts to adapt and please, she faced constant criticism from society. Elysia aimed to be a faithful wife devoted to her husband and a caring mother who loved her children unconditionally.

Her childhood was marred by witnessing her parents' unhealthy relationship, which was far from ideal.

Her parents stayed together only to maintain their social image, ignoring the impact on their children.

In contrast, Raiden, despite his abusive tendencies, took care of Elysia mentally. He forced his physical affection on her, but he also showed gestures of care, like giving her flowers and taking her on romantic dates every weekend.

This duality of his nature—being abusive yet sometimes considerate—complicated her feelings towards him.

Elysia's determination to be a good wife, human being, and family member was rooted in her desire to break the cycle of dysfunction she had grown up with.

She resolved to create a better life for her children, even if her own experiences were fraught with pain and compromise.

A good wife is easy to become, a beautiful and caring human being also someone can become, but becoming a good, stable family member is hard to achieve.

She wanted to provide her children with a stable and healthy family, so they wouldn't feel criticized or unsupported by the very place they should feel safe.

Although everything sounds perfect before it becomes reality. Elysia wanted to live a life of her dreams, but after sacrificing her body, mood, and childhood, today she felt that everything she did was absolutely unhealthy.

Accepting the facts and tolerating everything, she still couldn't give her children a stable family. While touching Heidi's forehead, rubbing it softly, she was lost in contemplation.

She looked at her three kids, whose eyes were closed. She was afraid for her children's future. She worried that her kids might develop the same mindset as hers.

Before she could think any further, she saw her husband standing in front of the door with a disgusted face.

It was clear that he was waiting for her to come and let him enjoy her body again, against her will. All of a sudden, Elysia gave a bitter smile and then returned her gaze to her kids.

She wanted to shatter her world but couldn't. Tonight, she understood why many mothers can't give their children a peaceful life.

She understood. For the first time, she felt remorse for complaining about her mother in the past. Can a mother do anything if her husband is unstable in providing love and care?

Even if a mother understands that her children are suffering from mental health issues, can she do anything?

If she is financially unstable, all her doors of hope are always shut without warning.

Because even after being nice to everyone, she doesn't get respect, and her children also suffer from abuse in many ways. She can't provide her children with a peaceful life, nor can she choke them.

But without choking them, is there any other way? Or, as a mother, how can she choke her children? Even after knowing their mental state, she still couldn't bring herself to choke them.

Because she is a mother. The lady of tolerance.

She could now understand why her mother sometimes behaved so rudely with them—because patience has a limit.

Elysia didn't ask her husband Raiden for anything to get sympathy. Sometimes, we just have to let go and let everything happen as it will.

We cannot control everything in life, and by the time people understand this, it's often too late. Meanwhile, after Elysia left the room, Vanessa's eyes opened. She didn't flinch or look around. She just gazed at the ceiling.

Little Vanessa didn't know why she felt her mother wasn't happy, but she wondered if asking her mother would reveal the truth or just a comforting lie.

As a 7-8-year-old child, Vanessa was still limited in her understanding of the world beyond her immediate family. However, she grasped the uncertainty of life—that it could bring anything at any moment.

Little did she realize that she had started harboring resentment toward her father, believing that all the strange occurrences were somehow his fault.

Vanessa observed that while her mother grieved deeply for her little sister, her father remained emotionally detached.

Vanessa, at her young age, discerned that her father showed no concern for her recently departed baby sister, and this caused her pain.

She understood the sacrifices her mother made for her sister's treatment, only to face the tragic reality of an uncertain future.

It puzzled Vanessa why her father didn't assist her mother in securing treatment for her little sister, especially given his ability to provide for other needs.

Witnessing her mother's struggles to gather funds and witnessing her heartfelt sorrow over her child's passing left a lasting impression on Vanessa.

Unfortunately, Elysia avoided Vanessa's questions about her father, often dismissing them with complicated explanations that were beyond Vanessa's comprehension.

After all, she was just a child. And that was the last time Vanessa witnessed her mother in tears.

She was unaware of the events of that night when her father called her mother, and she never asked about it. Vanessa believed it was better not to fully understand something than to hear a falsehood.

It was the year 1970, marking the twilight of the Dutch colonial era. Life seemed stable for citizens, including Vanessa, who was in her teenage years, along with her siblings Ryn and Heidi.

With each passing day, Vanessa's beauty flourished. Little did their family realize that this would soon become one of their darkest periods, particularly for Vanessa and her mother, Elysia.

Seated beside her mother's bed, Vanessa innocently watched over Elysia, who had been unwell for over five months.

The nature of her illness remained a mystery, as Raiden had neither sought medical advice nor procured any treatment. At sixteen, Vanessa could grasp much of what was unfolding.

Her mother suffered from a persistent fever that ebbed and flowed unpredictably over this prolonged period.

Vanessa devoted herself to caring for her mother, feeling utterly helpless at times as she watched her mother's body endure the torment of a raging fever.

Currently by her mother's side, holding her hand, Vanessa feared losing her mother. In the background, she heard her younger sister Heidi managing the chaos left behind by their father.

Raiden had become increasingly neglectful of their family. He was seldom seen and infrequently returned home even once a week.

When Raiden did return, Heidi took on the task of cleaning his soiled clothes and belongings, while Vanessa remained by her mother's side and assumed responsibility for cooking.

Ryn had recently taken on manual labor at a construction site, and their lives had drastically changed from their previous routine.

Holding her mother's hand, Vanessa listened intently to the sounds around her.

Vanessa listened to Heidi's question with a mix of frustration and resignation. Her feelings of resentment towards their father remained as intense as ever, perhaps even growing stronger by the day.

Glancing back at Heidi, who was busy wiping her hands with a cloth, Vanessa responded with a detached air.

— "As an irresponsible father, what do you expect from him?"

She remarked, her tone tinged with bitterness. Heidi, seemingly defending their father, replied.

— "He is our father, sister. Isn't it normal to expect something from him?"

Vanessa's expression remained cool, a hint of sadness underlying her words.

— "Stop building up unnecessary expectations. Expectations only serve to disappoint us."

— "But I can't help it!"

Heidi retorted impassively. Vanessa paused briefly, gathering her thoughts before probing further.

— "Heidi, what do expectations mean to you? What kind of things do you want from Dad?"

Heidi explained,

— "Expectations are when you eagerly anticipate something you deeply desire to happen in reality, based on an idealized image in your mind. I am hoping that someday I might be able to expect something from Dad."