Pain Can be Bear But Not Gaining Cannot

Ivelle glanced to Vanessa, her expression nonplussed and bewildered. She had no idea that she would run into a girl named Vanessa one day.

She was unaware of the recent conversation that Vanessa had with her. Ivelle spoke again, almost as if she wished to confirm what she had heard.

— "You were raped by a-man?"

Vanessa could feel the strain that Ivelle's heart had become. Ivelle couldn't believe she knew that.

But little did she know that Ivelle was more perplexed by Vanessa's continued coolness—as if nothing had happened—than horrified by the reality that she had been sexually assaulted by a man.

How on how is a sixteen-year-old girl still so cool after being sexually assaulted by a man—possibly a stranger, of course?

Or was she already resigned to her fate? Vanessa keeps glancing at Ivelle, who doesn't seem to be changing. Vanessa said,

— "Yes, I am. As I am no longer a virgin, I really don't have any reason to think further. Believe me, I desperately need this profession."

Due to the gravity in Ivelle's expression, Vanessa restrained herself from saying more.

Ivelle remained silent, her gaze fixed on Vanessa. Seeing this, Vanessa made a final attempt, not wanting to impose further and knowing she needed to return to her flat.

— "That's all I can say, Miss Ivelle. If you can help me, please do, and if you choose not to, I understand. Thank you for your valuable time."

Vanessa hesitated momentarily before reseating herself, discerning from Ivelle's gaze that there was something she wished to convey.

Upon settling back into her chair, Vanessa awaited Ivelle's words with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, noting the subtle smile that played across Ivelle's lips as she began to speak in a subdued, almost breathless tone.

— "I wonder, how you will withstand the anguish that inevitably follows after one has been subjected to intimate encounters."

— "I am certain I can manage! Fear not, if I could endure the distress during my initial experience, then I am fully capable of enduring it once more."

Vanessa reciprocated with a tentative smile. Despite her best efforts, Ivelle found herself unequipped to confront the sight of Vanessa's smile, knowing all too well the pain that lay behind it.

Nevertheless, she pressed on, maintaining her facade of amusement as she posed her next inquiry.

— "When do you plan to start, Vanessa?"

— "Today feels right."

Vanessa's response was impulsive. She reasoned that if she intended to pursue this path as a profession, there was no better time to begin than the present.

Though apprehensive, she found solace in the prospect of improving her family's financial situation. Ivelle responded with a friendly wink:

— "What would you like to drink or eat? I'm guessing you haven't had breakfast yet."

Vanessa attempted a light-hearted joke, though uncertain whether she was poking fun at Ivelle or herself.

— "I really don't want to draw attention to myself, or to have anyone speculate about a young girl like me meeting a woman known to be involved in prostitute profession. How could I possibly give them reason to suspect that another girl is considering entering the world of prostitution in our society?"

Ivelle couldn't help but smirk at Vanessa's response, recognizing the intelligence and determination that shone through her words.

As Vanessa rose from her seat, ready to embark on this new journey, she sought clarity on the logistics of their arrangement.

— "When do I need to meet you?"

She inquired.

— "Tonight at 11 o'clock, I'll be waiting for you on the main road of Amsterdam."

Ivelle replied.

— "I'll be there on time. See you soon!"

Vanessa affirmed with newfound resolve. Walking away, Vanessa couldn't shake the mix of emotions swirling within her. Pride mingled with apprehension as she contemplated the path she had chosen.

Yet, beneath the uncertainty, a glimmer of hope flickered, fueled by the prospect of providing for her family's needs and finally securing the medical care her mother deserved.

Descending the stairs, Vanessa was acutely aware of her visibility to anyone who might happen upon her.

Yet, she found herself caring less and less about the judgment of others. With a smile on her lips, she made her way back to her home.

Despite her newfound resolve and apparent maturity, Vanessa couldn't shake the nagging uncertainty lurking in the back of her mind.

She couldn't begin to fathom the realities that awaited her as a prostitute, the true hardships and challenges that lay ahead.

Upon her return, Vanessa slipped quietly into her bed, unnoticed by her sleeping family.

As she settled in alone, her younger sisters, Heidi and Elysia, lay curled up together, unaware of the turmoil swirling within Vanessa's mind.

Exhausted from days of unrest, Vanessa drifted off to sleep, unaware of the twists and turns that destiny had in store for her.

As the clock struck 8 in the morning, the kitchen became a bustling hive of activity as Heidi deftly maneuvered between pots and pans, orchestrating a symphony of sizzling ingredients.

With practiced precision, she whisked, stirred, and tasted, ensuring that the morning meal would be a comforting respite for her family.

While the aroma of freshly cooked food wafted through the air, Heidi's thoughts turned to her elder sister, Vanessa. She knew all too well the weight of responsibility that rested on Vanessa's young shoulders.

Vanessa had shouldered the burden of their family's financial struggles ever since their father and elder brother passed away, leaving their mother gravely ill and their family in dire straits.

In the quiet of the early morning, Heidi couldn't help but worry about Vanessa. She knew that her sister carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, and the toll it took on her was evident in the lines of exhaustion etched on her face.

Heidi wished she could do more to ease Vanessa's burden, but at just sixteen years old, her abilities were limited to the realm of household chores and offering moral support.

Despite her worries, Heidi pressed on, determined to do what she could to support her family.

With the meal prepared and ready to be served, she carefully transferred bowls of steaming soup to a tray, ensuring that Elysia, their ailing mother, would have a nourishing breakfast to start her day.

Quietly, Heidi made her way to Elysia's room, her footsteps echoing softly in the hallway. She pushed open the door with a gentle creak and stepped inside, greeted by the sight of her mother resting in bed, her frail form propped up by pillows.

As Heidi gently fed her mother, Elysia's weakened form seemed to find solace in the warmth of her daughter's care. Yet amidst the tender moment, a nagging question lingered in Heidi's mind.

Why had her mother never inquired about her husband, Raiden?

Despite his absence being a noticeable void in their lives, Elysia had remained resolutely silent on the matter. It was a perplexing omission, one that left Heidi feeling both unsettled and curious.

And then there was the matter of Ryn, her little brother who had been conspicuously absent from their lives for over a month now.

Despite his absence, Elysia had never once mentioned him or expressed any concern for his well-being.

It was a silence that spoke volumes, leaving Heidi to wonder if her mother's stoic demeanor masked a deeper pain or resignation.

As she continued to feed her mother, Heidi couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over her. There were too many unanswered questions, too many pieces of the puzzle that didn't quite fit.

Heidi couldn't help but feel like she was tiptoeing through a maze of complexities whenever she tried to make sense of Vanessa and Elysia.

Their actions and emotions often left her feeling like she was grasping at shadows, unable to fully understand the depths of their thoughts and feelings.

Yesterday's abrupt shift in conversation with Vanessa, from casual chatter to a heated discussion about prostitution, had caught Heidi off guard.

It was as if a curtain had been drawn back to reveal a side of her sister she had never seen before – a side filled with turmoil and uncertainty.

And now, as she sat by her mother's bedside, watching Elysia's stoic acceptance of her illness, Heidi couldn't help but wonder what lay beneath the surface of her mother's calm demeanor.

— "I am a burden for you all. Am I not? Perhaps, Vanessa is in too much pressure."

Elysia's words cut through the silence like a knife, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within Heidi.

Was her mother truly feeling like a burden to them? And what about Vanessa – was she really under so much pressure that it drove her to ask about such taboo topics?

Heidi's hand paused in midair, the weight of the spoon suddenly feeling heavier in her grasp. With a tightening grip, she wrestled with her emotions, masking them behind a gentle chuckle as she spoke.

— "She is."

Heidi affirmed softly, her words a testament to Vanessa's tireless efforts.

— "She works so hard every day. That's why I let her sleep in this morning."

Elysia remained silent, her focus solely on finishing the soup before her. With a sigh, she wiped her mouth clean, signaling the end of the meal.

Heidi collected the empty bowl and made her way to the kitchen, her steps faltering midway as a wave of unfamiliar emotion washed over her.

Caught in the midst of conflicting feelings, Heidi struggled to name the sensation stirring within her heart. Was it merely a passing mood swing, or something deeper?

As she pondered the sudden shift in her mood, a pang of unease crept into her thoughts.

Was she bothered by her mother's apparent indifference towards her, or was it simply her own insecurities surfacing once again?