I don't want to fart.

"Well fuck me …."

Said Ha Joon with an unimpressed expression as he looked up at the stairs to see Merlin and Artoria walking down with guards behind them.

He was fully dressed in his attire, and was standing in front of the red carriage meant for him and Artoria.

But instead of seeing only Artoria walking down the castle stairs to meet him, Merlin was behind her, her eyes filled with mischief.

'Dammit, I should have known something was up when she started asking me weird questions. This mummy dick dominating mage wanted to tag along after all.' Ha Joon uttered in his mind, the deadpanish expression still hitched on his face.

The moment Merlin spotted him, she waved her hand with a smile.

Ha Joon's expression didn't change, he could see right through her.

But then-

He noticed what Artoria was putting on.

His jaw dropped in shock, not only was Artoria wearing her battle armor, she was also wearing a mask on her face while holding Excalibur in her hand.

'Bruh! We are going on a date, not to slay Zeus.' He whispered, his shock turning into nervous chuckles.

"Good morning Traveler, did I make you wait?" Artoria voiced out, stepping down from the last stairs and standing in front of Ha Joon.

Behind Artoria was Tristan, member of the roundtable knights, his blonde hair packed in a ponytail. His gaze was intensely fixed on Ha Joon.

"A..rtoria." Ha Joon called out.

This made Tristan's eyes twitch in annoyance, other than Merlin, no one else had the right to call Artoria by her name- he so badly wanted to kill Ha Joom, but then again, Ha Joon was the prime minister.

"Is something wrong? You look startled." Artoria asked Ha Joon as she leaned closer.

"Yeah Lord Ha Joon, is something wrong?" Merlin chimed, her mischievous smile slowly slipping.

Ha Joon looked at Merlin for a while, his veins almost popping out.

'Oh I see what she's doing… She wants to see if I can make this successful or not, and then use it against me if I fail. Interesting, but I'll have you know, I might have been a virgin, but I've played a whole lot of dating sims'.

Ha Joon cleared his throat, "It's nothing Milady, you just looked too stunning, I needed a minute to take you in".

"Is that so? This armor does come from the finest materials, I'm glad you noticed."

"Oh surly," Ha Joon stretched his hand towards her, "Shall we begin this date?" He smiled.

Artoria stared at him for a while, her expression hidden under the mask, "R-Right".

She grabbed Ha Joon's hand and he gently led her inside the carriage.

Tristan on the other hand was battling with his inner demons at the side; there was no way Ha Joon was taking his king on a date.

Once Artoria was seated inside the Carriage, Merlin was about to take a step, when Ha Joon suddenly arrived in front of her, his hand stretched towards her too.

Merlin chuckled a bit, "What? Are you going to hold another woman's hand while on a date?".

Ha Joon smiled.

"Two beautiful women, I'm sure I can handle myself."

Merlin giggled, "Very well then".

She grabbed his hand, and just like Artoria, he led her towards the Carriage.

The driver rode off, leaving Tristan at the side, gnashing his teeth on his sleeves as he watched them ride off.

"Your majestyyyyyyy".

….

//Inside the carriage//

Merlin and Artoria sat on the same seat, while Ha Joon sat opposite them, his legs crossed a bit as he looked towards the mirror.

'They both haven't said a word since we got in. This much tension isn't good for my health, I feel like I'm going to let out a huge fart any second now… I can feel it hanging at the entrance of my butt'.

Ha Joon pressed his ass against the seat, his thighs closed together.

'I knew I shouldn't have eaten those cakes before stepping out. And why the hell is this place so small?... Maybe if I let out a little fart, slowly, they won't be able to smell it enough to notice.'

He took a quick side glances at their faces, and almost instantly, they both looked at him.

Ha Joon froze in panic. Closing his eyes shut.

'Yeah right, and risk it making an exploding sound! Nuh huh, nope, not happening. Ahh, this is so embarrassing … why now of all times… the freaking universe has forsaken me again. Even the way this ride keeps yanking back and forth makes my ass feel like it deserves to let it out'.

Ha Joon gulped down his saliva as he sweat bullets.

[You have a new notification.]

[The app Magic map has been downloaded… 170 Ep has been deduced from your stats.]

'Uhn? Oh right, I was downloading this before I left the castle, I need something to help me get a good map of Camelot. System, show it to me.'

[Map of Camelot…]

The map dialogue appeared in front of Ha Joon's eye sight. It was huge but the system managed to pinpoint the important area.

Using his eyes as a navigation tool, Ha Joon was able to zoom in on the carriage he was in, following it on the map.

'So I'm somewhere in the right district, not too far from the main castle… if I keep heading south, I'll end up in the next town… damn, Camelot is bigger than I thought.'

Bang!

'Ouch!' Ha Joon grunted painfully when he felt something slam against his toes.

Looking away from the hologram, He turned to see that Merlin was stepping on him.

You idiot, what are you doing? Suggest to go shopping for clothes.

Merlin wrote with magic at the side, so Artoria wouldn't be able to see it.

'Shopping? I was just planning for her to show me around the kingdom or something, the hell she mean shopping?'.

"I have no money." Responded Ha Joon with only the movement of his lips.

Merlin shook her head, before reaching for her dress and pulling out a sack of eres.

She stylishly threw it towards him, before aggressively writing with magic again.

Now you have money, tell the driver to stop before he passes the cloth store.

Ha Joon's eyes bubbled with joy, 'Awwwwwn, Merlin you're the best!'.

...

A/N

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