Chapter Two: Lemons and Lemonade

Star Wars + Harry Potter Crossover

A/N: Chap 1 Reviews and some brief notes about Kyle and the SW Timeline are in my newly minted Katarn Side forum.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter Two: Lemons and Lemonade

-Once, Life handed Kyle Katarn lemons. Kyle immediately put those lemons

in a sock and proceeded to beat the shit out of Life

with them until it learned to never repeat that mistake.

On his first full day living with Kyle Katarn, Harry went shopping for clothes for the very first time in his conscious life.

They went into Fleetwood for the day picking up clothes—pants, trousers, jim-jams, more trousers, trainers, jumpers, wellies—everything he needed to be decent in public and comfortable. He carried the bags with a sense of awe as he stumbled along behind Kyle. The man moved quickly without seeming to, which made it look like he was strolling casually while Harry had to run to keep up.

The next purchase was a bed—Harry's very own, honest-to-goodness bed. It was nothing too special—a box spring and mattress with a metal frame that hung out the back of the Toyota. They tested Kyle's car that day since they also picked up a wardrobe and a boxed desk set that Kyle would have to put together later.

They grabbed fish and chips from the market. All this time, Kyle said hardly three words to Harry, other than instructions to keep up, or questions on what clothing colors he liked. Harry wavered between love and terror—love because he'd never had his own clothes or his own furniture before; Kyle was spending hundreds of pounds on him without hesitation. Terror because…well, it was Kyle Katarn, the man who kicked his uncle in the head. Who wouldn't be terrified?

They set up Harry's bedroom when they got back, and when that was done Kyle led him into the car park and a large black box there that reminded Harry of a scary Mummy movie he saw once. Kyle tapped a few buttons on the side and the box opened with a whir of servos to reveal a silver robot.

The robot looked almost human—two legs, two arms. Its body was plated in silver, save for a strip around its mid-drift where its wires showed. Almost immediately its round eyes lit up. "Good morning, Master Kyle," the droid said in a distinctively female voice.

"It's evening, D-DH532. We're on a planet with a 24 hour day. Can you plug into the nearest computer systems and adjust your chronometer?"

"One moment, Master Kyle." The droid went perfectly still before its arms jerked. "How…distasteful. I have adjusted my chronometer for local time. Master Kyle, are you aware that the local computer systems lack any type of artificial intelligence at all and only the most rudimentary networking capabilities?"

"Yes, we're on a pre-space industrial planet," Kyle said. "We're in hiding, which means that you need to engage your camouflage systems or stay out sight when we have company."

Harry gaped as the robot shimmered before his eyes and became…human. She looked like a matronly woman with curled auburn hair and an oval, rather non-descript face. If anything, she reminded Harry of his 2nd Year teacher.

"A holographic system," Kyle explained dryly to Harry. "She can appear to be anyone she scans. I actually have two of these, but I only use one at a time. Dee Dee, this is Harry Potter, my padawan learner."

"Padawan, Master Kyle?" The robot said. Her mouth moved perfectly in time to the words, even though it was only a hologram. "Did you not tell me Corellia would crack in half before you took another apprentice?"

"Yes, I did. And for all I know it may have. Nonetheless, this is my Padawan, Harry Potter. Harry, this is my domestic droid, D-DH532. I call her Dee Dee or Dee for short. I don't do laundry, I don't cook, and I don't clean if I can help it. Dee does, but you're going to help her too. Mainly she's going to keep the house livable. Understand?"

"Yes, Kyle."

"Good. Dee, I've obtained some groceries and a few cookbooks. Please prepare dinner while I begin my Padawan's instruction."

"Yes, Master Kyle."

"What am I going to learn, sir?" Harry asked tentatively.

"How old are you again, Harry?"

"I'm eight, sir. And a half."

"Well, Harry, age eight and a half, I'm going to teach you how to learn. It's the first, most important lesson a Jedi can have, and without it you'll never reach your full potential. The Jedi over tens of thousands of years have developed techniques to maximize the mind's ability to receive and retain new information and skills. And once we have that done, we'll get into the fun stuff."

"Am I…going to go to school, sir?"

"No," Kyle said without pause. "I've registered you as home-schooled. I've already ordered some materials you can study on your own to ensure you can fit in here, but mass education is by its very nature geared toward the lowest common denominator. The Force is telling me you have a lot to learn and we can't afford to allow the education here to slow you down."

Harry felt a touch of sadness that he wouldn't be around other kids, but then realized even when he was, it was rarely fun. Dudley made sure of that.

The next day, Kyle began teaching Harry to learn, and the first steps to his new life truly began.

~~Katarn~~

The days blended into weeks and then months. Jedi learning techniques involved meditation and mental organization. It was really hard, day after day, to imagine a library in his brain and fill it up with memories. And yet, after a month of intense meditation broken up only by occasional bouts of exercise or meals and sleep, Harry found the library easier to use and access. He found himself dreaming about it at night, and in the morning he began to file away the day's events with hardly any conscious effort into his personal library, under a file he called "Periodicals."

By this sixth week of instruction in the art of learning, Kyle pronounced him ready to actually start learning things, and so they did.

Harry's schooling continued every day, though Kyle gave him Sundays to just play or rest. Sometimes they spent the entire day talking about Roman history, and the next about the Force Wars of Tython and the founding of Ossus. After every discussion, he and Kyle would meditate so that Harry could file away the information he learned, and the next day Kyle would ask him to repeat it back to him, verbatim.

Kyle did not give Harry written tests. Instead he asked him questions all the time, many times about things they had never even studied. The questions Harry soon learned were prompts for him to use the flimsiplasts that Kyle had scattered around the house to look something up.

If a question resulted in a two-hour long talk, Kyle seemed fine with it. He also taught Harry Galactic Basic and Aurabesh, the written version of Basic. "You need to know the language of the galaxy to read about it," Kyle said.

Of course, there was also the physical side of Harry's instruction. He ran until he felt sick. He tumbled until he was dizzy; and played dodge-ball all the time. It was during dodge ball that he first accessed the Force. He was weaving his way around the balls that Kyle was throwing at him, doing his best to avoid them since they stung with each hit. Suddenly he felt his body moving almost as if being controlled by another, and yet still doing so at his will. He moved faster than he could ever remember moving, and the balls seemed to slow down so much he could see before Kyle even threw them where they would go.

When the match was over, Kyle nodded. "About time," he said.

"What was that?"

"That was the Force. Frankly with your potential you should have tapped it ages ago, but I think this local 'magic' was interfering with you grasping it. Looks like you finally broke through, though. Now we can get into your real training."

"You mean this wasn't real?"

"Not by half."

For some reason, that scared Harry, and his fear turned out to be well founded. The next day, they went running. Kyle showed Harry how to tap into the Force to strengthen himself and increase his stamina, but even so running ten miles at the pace Kyle set was terrible.

Kyle didn't seem to care, and they did it every morning rain or shine, snow or ice. And in that corner of England, there was a lot of snow and ice, but not much shine.

~~Katarn~~

Kyle rarely slept. Harry did not realize this until his eighth month of living with the man. The young padawan lay in his bed, trying with limited success to use the Force to ease the pain of his over-used muscles, when he heard a loud thump from the living room.

Cautiously, Harry snuck out of his room to the living room, where he found Kyle passed out and slumped half over the coffee table, and half on the floor. Harry stood frozen, terrified at seeing this seemingly invulnerable man in such a vulnerable position. As he moved closer, he spotted motion from one of the flimsiplasts and lifted it up to look.

Like a television, it showed woman standing on an exotic, alien world with an impossibly large moon hanging in a violet sky. The woman was attractive, with black hair hanging about her face. She looked like she was almost, but not quite Asian. She was speaking, but the flimsiplast's sound volume was off. She then ripped the camera out of the camera man's hands and turned it on him. It showed a younger, happier Kyle Katarn joking about something.

Harry watched as Kyle surged forward, snagged the woman around the waist and kissed her soundly, all while the woman continued to record them.

"I see Master Katarn has finished celebrating," Dee Dee said as she walked into the room with a whirring of her servos. "You should be in bed, Young Master."

"What was he celebrating, Dee?" Harry asked.

"His wedding anniversary."

"He's married? Where is his wife?"

"She is dead, Young Master. Mr. Katarn has lost everyone he has cared for. They never had children, but his padawans filled that role. Unfortunately several turned to the Dark Side, or were killed fighting those who did. Most tragic. But now you must go to sleep, young master. I will attend to Master Katarn."

Harry put the flimsiplast down on the table before looking at the drunken figure of his master. "Thank you for telling me," he said sadly before he went to his room.

Kyle was awake at sunrise the next morning without any sign of the evening's activities, but Harry remembered, and that memory couldn't help but change the way he looked at the hard man who had taken control of his life. He stopped being frightened of Kyle, since he finally realized that his master was as human as he was.

~~Katarn~~

The night before Harry's tenth birthday, they were attacked.

It started with a loud wailing sound that reverberated through the house. Harry shot up out of a dead sleep in terror, scanning his room for intruders. Unfortunately, he found one—a figure draped in a black cloak with a silver mask that shone with the dim streetlight coming through the curtains of his window.

The figure raised a wand, and remembering what his master told him, Harry kicked off the wall, launching himself from the bed as a flash of green struck the bed and made it start burning. Harry rolled to his feet and then dove at his attacker before the man could locate him in the dark room.

Emerging from his roll, Harry stuck his head between the man's legs and rammed his shoulders as hard as he could into the man's knees, while at the same time gripping his heels with his hands. Now, Harry wasn't the largest ten-year-old in the world, but at over eighty pounds he wasn't exactly a light weight, and most of that was muscle.

The man cried out in pain at the assault on his knees and fell backward toward Harry's bed. Harry heard the heavy thud of the back of the man's head and neck slamming against the large wooden knob at the top of his footboard. When his attacker did not move, he grabbed the wizard's wand and snapped it in half.

Moving slowly and carefully, he emerged from his room into the hall and saw lights from the living room, along with sounds and voices. He ran down the hall, not pausing at all by the door into the living area, and instead ran into Kyle's room.

Like his own, the room was sparsely furnished, with a single-wide bed and wood frame, a wardrobe, and a desk. He reached for the desk, pulled open the lower right hand drawer, and after removing the false bottom, retrieved Kyle's trusty Bryar pistol. It was a weapon Harry was familiar with because of heavy drilling and weapons safety instructions.

He crept slowly back to the living room and saw Kyle wielding his golden lightsaber against a whole room of black-clad, silver-masked men. Two were already dead, judging by the bodies on the floor. Kyle himself seemed to be moving slower than normal, and even in the dim light Harry could see an expression of pain on his face.

Even as Harry watched, Kyle lashed out with a burst of blue Force-lightning. Three of the ten men somehow created shields that intercepted the lightning, while the other seven shouted "Crucio!"

To Harry's horror, Kyle staggered again, though he retained his feet. Realizing with a cold knot of terror in his stomach that his master was genuinely in danger, Harry took a deep breath to center himself in the Force like he was taught, stepped out from behind the wall, took aim, and started firing. He had five shots off in as many seconds; red blaster bolts burned easily through the silver masks, dropping the dark wizards easily.

By the fifth the dark wizards realized where the new danger was and turned to deal with it, and that is when Kyle struck. He rushed forward with his saber swinging, and had all the remaining attackers on the floor dead before Harry could take another shot.

Master and apprentice stood in the sudden, shocking silence that followed for almost a minute before Kyle said, "The one in your room?"

"Out," Harry reported dutifully. "I broke his wand."

"Well done, padawan," Kyle said in a ragged breath. "Very well done." The old Jedi walked stiffly toward Harry, and then past him to his room. Harry saw the golden light reflected from Kyle's blade as it slashed something. A moment later Kyle emerged and walked, still stiff, to his own room. He almost made it to his bed before collapsing.

"Master!" Harry cried in alarm. He rushed to Kyle's side and knelt down, tears in his eyes. "Master…Kyle! What should I do? What can I do?"

"Peace, harry," Kyle said weakly. "Help me to my bed."

Harry strained both muscle and Force ability to get Kyle to his bed. "The magic they used was not what I expected," Kyle admitted. "It was based on pain and hatred—as bad as anything I've felt from the Dark Side of the Force. I must enter a healing trance. I know this is difficult for you, Harry, but we must remove those bodies. Ask DeeDee for the Tenloss. It will disintegrate the bodies. And then…and then begin packing everything. It is time to go—perhaps long past time. I have tarried here for your comfort and my own, but it has placed us both in danger."

"Where will we go, Kyle?"

"The Jedi Praxeum on Ossus. Go now, Harry. I must heal before I can do anything else."

"Yes, master!"

Harry ran until he reached DeeDee's charging station in the carpark and had the droid active. "DeeDee! Master Kyle has been hurt. He told me to ask you for the Tenloss."

DeeDee's holographical human eyes stared at him a moment before, in a motherly tone, she said, "Goodness, that is an awful weapon. Why would he tell you to ask for it?"

"We need to disintegrate some bodies."

"Oh Goodness, Master Kyle," the droid said, managing to sound put-upon. "Very well, come then."

She emerged from her station and led Harry through several crates in the carpark. He noticed several were filled with what looked like bars of gold and platinum, which was how the old Jedi was funding his retirement on a planet that did not accept Alliance or Imperial credits.

The final crate, though, was filled with a wide variety of weapons. "Wow," Harry whispered as he looked down at the many weapons. He recognized Kyle's now ancient DE-11 Blaster Rifle he received as a young Stormtrooper cadet, but some he had no idea what they were. "What's that?" he asked DeeDee.

"That, young master, is Master Katarn's Stouker concussion rifle. I would recommend you be careful, as two shots could level this whole structure."

"And that?"

"Master Katarn's Heavy Repeater. It also is quite dangerous. And here it is, the Tenloss DXR-6 Disrupter Rifle—a tool of assassination."

Harry accepted the weapon from the droid, feeling a sense of danger from the Force just by touching the surprisingly light weapon. "How do I operate it to disintegrate bodies?"

"The trigger is duel-touch activated. Pull it to the first catch and it begins to power the shot; press the trigger home to release the shot. To disintegrate a body, charge the shot to its maximum setting before firing. Be very careful, young master. This weapon truly is deadly."

"Thanks, DeeDee. In the meantime, Master Kyle said it was time to leave. We're to pack up."

"Very well, Young Master."

Harry walked back into the house, intensely grateful for the darkness that shrouded the bodies in shadow. He found the first one, pointed the rifle at it, and pulled the trigger too hard. Instead of disintegrating the body, a thin stream of orange light burned a hole through it. With a sigh, Harry tried again, listing to the low whine of the disrupter until the next shot was charged, and fired.

The body took on an orange glow before it burned away entirely, leaving nothing but an outline of dust.

With a total of thirteen attackers, Harry ran out of shots by the ninth body and had to go back for another power-cell. Evidently the rifle only had ten shots per pack when using the full power necessary to disintegrate a whole body. He finally reached the body in his room and had to fire twice—once for the body, once for the head lying a few feet from the body.

He meandered back into the living room to see DeeDee dutifully vacuuming up the dust piles. "DeeDee, I can't afford to sleep with Master Kyle healing, so I should start packing. What should I do first?"

"According to my instructions, we are to take only those things not native to this world. Please gather all flimsiplasts or holovids and take them to the crates in the garage. You should also pack your personal effects since we may not return for some time."

"What about the house?"

"We will retain it in Master's name," the droid said. "Master Kyle created a large account with a law firm to oversee his real property on this world. Never fear, the home will be here when we return."

Harry, not entirely mollified, nodded and turned to finish packing. In the two years he had been with Kyle, this house had been more of a home than Privet Drive ever was, and the thought of leaving it filled Harry with worry and fear. But the thought of those black-clad men who somehow broke into their house despite the defensive systems Kyle installed at all doors and windows terrified Harry as well.

Worst of all, seeing his Master stumble filled Harry with a profound dread that was difficult to even admit, much less face. And so, despite being exhausted, he worked and packed throughout the night, until every sign of Kyle's off-world origins was safely contained in the four large crates in the car park. He considered taking the crates to the truck, but they were too large for him to carry and he was not confident enough in his telekinesis to levitate such a large container.

Besides which, he was fairly certain Kyle's Toyota would only hold one of them.

Finally, as the sun was rising, Harry stumbled to his room, but not to sleep. Instead, he grabbed his pillow and a blanket before he moved back to Kyle's room. He laid down at the foot of Kyle's bed, pulled the blanket over him, and let the exhaustion carry him away to oblivion.

~~Katarn~~

Harry woke with a start at the touch of a hand. He blinked away his sleep and rubbed his eyes before staring into the old, grizzled face of his master. When he was younger, it was easy not to think of Kyle as old. But after seeing his master stumble last night, what he saw now made him realize that his master was a truly ancient human.

His face was not just grizzled, it was tanned like leather, with deep lines around his eyes and mouth. His hair was thinning, though he cut it so short to his scalp it wouldn't matter, and his hands were covered in liver spots and protruding veins. And yet, for all his years, he still seemed so strong and confident.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Kyle smiled dryly. "I'm better. Movers will be taking the crates to my landing site today. You did a good job packing."

Harry ducked his head in a nod. "What do we do now?"

"Now? Well, seeing as this is your last day on the planet for a while, and it just happens to be your Lifeday, I say we celebrate. Ever been to Blackpool?"

Harry couldn't help but sit up in excitement. "Really?"

"Really. Get cleaned up and dress—I see you left your personal things out. And when you're ready, we'll get a bite to eat on the way to Blackpool. Then, when we're done, we'll head to the landing site."

~~Katarn~~

Harry didn't truly appreciate how close Blackpool was to Knott End-on-Sea until they reached the amusement park after just over half-an hour of driving. Harry tried his very best to contain his excitement when Kyle pulled the Toyota onto the vast asphalt sea that was the parking lot of the park.

Kyle paid for the most expensive wristband, giving Harry free unlimited access to every ride in the park, and then handed him nearly forty pounds before setting him free. The old Jedi didn't join Harry on any of the rides; and Harry didn't really mind. Throughout the day he cast worried glances at his master, spotting the occasional slips in Kyle's countenance to show that he was not fully recovered from his fight the previous night. So if Kyle chose to sit and rest while Harry enjoyed himself, then Harry was just as grateful for the opportunity. He'd never been to anything like Blackpool Pleasure Beach, and was frankly overwhelmed for the first hour.

Eventually, Kyle retired to a restaurant to rest and drink a sports drink while Harry had free rein of the park. He rode the roller coasters again and again, laughing with the other kids as if he were just like they were.

If he did better at the arcades than other kids, no one seemed to mind, especially when he made a point of giving any prizes he won to whichever younger child happened to be closest. Nor did he linger at any one game so as to bother the men running the games overly much. It was, after all, their livelihood, and he did not want to detract from that.

With money Kyle had given him, he ate ice cream and funnel cakes, rode the ghost train and screamed with the rest despite not truly being scared. Instead, he screamed with the rest because it was just so much fun just to scream with other kids.

It was the single best day Harry could remember in the whole of his life; the fact it came on the heels of an attack that scared him more than anything he could remember just made the joy that much more visceral.

Finally, though, after riding the roller coaster for the tenth time, he felt a pull at the back of his mind, and knew the day was over. He cast one more fond look at the park and the happy, laughing people that moved through it and walked to the restaurant where Kyle waited patiently.

The old Jedi had obviously been meditating and healing while Harry had fun—he looked better than he did that morning. "Did you have fun, Harry?"

"I did, Kyle," Harry said, beaming at the old warrior. "It's been the best day I've ever had. Thank you!"

Overwhelmed by emotion—fear and happiness and an uncertainty of the future—Harry hugged his master for the first time since he was eight. More shocking still was when Kyle hugged him back. "Happy birthday, Harry," Kyle said softly. "I'm glad it was a good one. Are you ready to go now?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Harry instead nodded and smiled up at his Master. He was ready.

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