Chapter 7

[T/N: I'm giving you guys this book early because I want to promote an amazing author who is currently writing one of my favorite RWBY books. If you like this book go check out 'The Invincible Girl' by 'Trusty_McGoodGuy'. It has a premis that has some similarities with this book and as far as I know they aren't a Translator! Go give them some love because they are the reason you guys are getting this chapter, also maybe give them some stones, the amount they have is criminal for the quality of their work.]

Jaune entered Ozpin's office, dragging Emerald's corpse by the collar of her shirt. Before anything else, he had contacted the headmaster through his Scroll to meet with him, and had given him an abbreviated version of the events.

He was tired, Emerald had hurt him and she was a dead weight, so it had been hard for him to carry her here. His breathing was a little labored.

Ozpin watched him from across the room, sitting in his office chair. His fathomless eyes did not reveal the feelings he hid within. Jaune left Emerald in the middle of the room and allowed himself to breathe.

" Will you take care of the rest?" He asked.

" Of course. Why do you think she attacked alone? If she had acted together with Mercury, they could have killed you, and yet..."

" I don't know. Too many things happened one after another, and I didn't have time to think. Do you think it's possible that only she knew? That instead of telling Cinder, she planned to act alone to take all the credit and win her approval?"

" What makes you think that's what she wants?"

Ah, that's right. He had to remember that they didn't know the same things. That this Ozpin was another Ozpin. He was tired and a little disoriented, otherwise, he wouldn't have messed up like that.

Focus.

" I have seen her devotion with my own eyes many times, including tonight. Before she died, she explained to me why she did what she did."

" I see. Even then, Emerald Sustrai doesn't strike me as stupid enough to do such a thing. At the very least, she knows that in order to earn Cinder's respect, she has to be smart. I understand that you want to think positively, but I'm afraid that's just a vain hope. Cinder knows everything, or almost everything."

Jaune looked away.

" Yes. I guess you're right."

" This isn't the first time you've killed, is it?'

"Why do you say so?"

" I can see it in your eyes… and in your body. You don't look like someone who has killed for the first time. Humans, even the worst of us, can't take that moment lightly."

Jaune looked into his eyes.

" I'm afraid you're not wrong about that, Headmaster. Cinder was the first person I ever killed, and when I did… I felt powerful and happy, like I was on top of the world. I didn't regret it for a second. How could I? After all, that monster had already killed everything I love at least a dozen times."

"I understand that you want to think positively, but I'm afraid that's just a convenient fantasy. Killing is a natural part of life, and there's no limit to how low a human being can sink. Even when you think you've hit rock bottom, you may still fall one day."

" I'm sorry, Mr… Jaune."

"Why?"

" For allowing things to get to this point. As the Headmaster, it is my responsibility to protect you, and I failed."

" You told me that before. In front of Ruby."

" I don't think that's enough."

" And what do you expect? For me to forgive you? " his teeth grinded " For me to tell you that everything is okay, that I can get over this? That we will all get over it? No. No. Nothing is okay, Headmaster. And I hate you from the bottom of my heart. Try to fix what is broken, if you want, but you will achieve nothing. Between you and me there is a temporal abyss of years. Between you and me…"

With each word he said, his voice grew louder, and by the end, he was screaming like an animal.

His anger was so great that he couldn't put it into words no matter how hard he tried, so he choked on it.

"Forget it," he said at last, very calmly. "It's no use. Like I said, there's a world between us. No matter what I do, you can't understand me. It's been proven beyond a doubt now. I've opened myself up, and you still have that expressionless face, as if carved from stone. Tell me the truth, do I matter to you? Do you care about your students, or are they just words?"

There was silence in the office.

At some point, it started to rain, and the raindrops were hitting the window, filling the room with noise. It was almost enough to hide the pounding of his racing heart.

" Even if I say yes, you won't believe me. You must think I'm some kind of monster, like Cinder or Salem. I don't understand why."

" That's not what I think. But you do live in the future and have forgotten that you have your feet in the present, Headmaster."

[T/N: Coming from someone time-looped, that sort of means something.]

He turned and left. He walked at first, but as soon as he was out the door and Ozpin could no longer see him, he ran.

He arrived at his team's room.

Carefully, so as not to wake anyone, he entered using his key. He went into the bathroom and vomited, kneeling in front of the toilet. It was mostly bile, as he had barely eaten all day.

He didn't even understand why his body was reacting that way. Was it the memory of Ruby's death? That time at his hands that had only been an illusion? Having to deal with Ozpin? A mix of all those things or something that was unknown to him, a suspicion in the back of his mind?

He didn't know. Maybe he didn't want to know.

He rinsed his mouth clean and then climbed into bed, knowing that if he had been unable to sleep before, he would be completely unable to now.

In the darkness, he was alone with his thoughts. And his memories.

Jaune woke up hearing voices.

For a second he tensed, preparing to fight, to leap out of bed, sword in hand, and cut down his enemies. Then he recognized it for the foolishness it was. If Cinder's minions had come to kill him, they wouldn't be talking to each other, risking waking him up.

He opened his eyes.

It was them, of course. His team.

Jaune stood up straight.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Nora said, spinning around like a ballerina until she stopped in front of him.

"Yes, good morning."

"I'm sorry I woke you up," Pyrrha said. "You look tired. Weren't you able to sleep last night?"

" Yes, to my surprise. But barely."

" We were going to watch Team RWBY's fight, but if you're not feeling well."

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said, with a hint of sarcasm. After all, he knew the result. Well, it was a pretty obvious result even if he wasn't a time traveler. The other team simply hadn't had a chance from the start.

Jaune stood up.

" Are you really okay?" Ren asked.

" No. I'm not okay. But that doesn't matter" He forced a smile " Come on, team."

They went to see the fight.

At one point it looked like the outcome was going to change and Team RWBY would be eliminated in the first round, but no. They crushed the opposing team, as usual. After that, they went out to eat and enjoy the sights. As usual. And Jaune parted ways with his team. He needed to talk to Ruby.

It didn't take long for him to find them.

Yang was the first to notice him approaching, and greeted him with a big smile.

" Hello, boy from the future."

Jaune stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn't believe she had just said that.

"Yang!" Ruby said, jumping on her and covering her mouth. The damage was already done, though.

Some people, even in the general hustle and bustle, noticed the greeting and looked at them curiously. He didn't like people's attention, so to him, those looks were like knives.

" Ruby, did you tell them everything?"

She lowered her head slightly.

" Well, I didn't want to keep anything so important hidden from them. Sorry."

Jaune crossed his arms in front of his chest.

" I'm not mad. I expected it, and Ozpin. You're great, Ruby, but when it comes to keeping a secret... well..."

She gave a nervous laugh, as if he had told some joke.

Jaune shifted uncomfortably in his spot. It felt wrong to make her feel bad.

" Since you've all heard, let's go somewhere private. We need to talk. There's news."

"Can't it wait?" Yang asked. "For once, I'm at a festival, I want to enjoy it."

" Of course, you can wait. But that doesn't mean you should. Come on, let's go."

" Jaune, something happened last night, right?" Ruby asked him.

He pressed his lips together.

" Yes. Yes, something happened, but I can't tell it here, as I said before."

Looking for a more private spot, they passed by Mercury, and he didn't miss them. He glared at him with murderous rage, and Jaune prepared to fight him, but he didn't do anything else. Of course. He wanted to avenge his teammate's death, and attacking now, in the middle of the festival, in full view of everyone, would only get him cut down by the Atlas people.

" Okay, we're in a secluded enough spot now," Weiss said, standing against a tree, her legs and arms crossed "So talk."

" Last night, Emerald Sustrai tried to kill me."

" Did you catch her?" Ruby asked.

" No. I killed her."

They all reacted to that to a greater or lesser extent, except Blake. He wasn't surprised. She had been a terrorist and a murderer, after all. Her hands were as bloody as his, he was sure. At the very least, a good portion of her life had been guided and carved by the blind violence of the Faunus.

What affected him most was Ruby's reaction. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time.

" But that's not what matters. Emerald was important to Cinder to sow discord, making use of her Semblance during the fights at the festival. She doesn't have it anymore, so she's going to change the plan and look for a new method. We have to be careful and always be alert. Anything could happen."

He hoped they understood the seriousness of the matter. They had faced many dangers before getting here, but he doubted they fully understood what was coming their way, most of them. Especially Weiss, who believed herself untouchable.

"I didn't believe it," Blake said, breaking the silence. "Or rather, I didn't want to believe it. But looking at you, it's clear that you're a completely different person. I don't know what happened to you, but I feel sorry for you."

" I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm sick of people pitying me. I'm not a wounded child, I'm a warrior. So please refrain from making such comments in the future."

"Understood," she replied curtly.

"Okay, guys," Ruby said, standing between them and holding up her hands. "I don't want you guys fighting."

"I'm sorry," Jaune said. "That wasn't my intention. It's just that…"

He sighed heavily.

" Can I ask you something else? " Blake said.

" You can, but I can't promise that I'll want to or know how to answer it."

" What was it like? How did you feel about killing?"

" This time, I felt neither pain nor happiness, if that's what you mean."

"This time?"

" Of course. I've been through this a thousand times, and I've been forced to kill more than once. At first, it affected me, of course. I'm a human being. But I've long since stopped thinking about it. To me, it's just a means to an end."

" So, you're willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want? Are you really that kind of person?"

" If the alternative is the death of the people I love most, then yes. Of course. That's what everyone would do, so don't try to compare me to Adam."

He had made a mistake.

Blake jerked back as if she'd been punched and stared at him with wide eyes, an almost comical expression of surprise.

"You know…?"

" You told me. You confided in me."

" I wouldn't have told just anyone. You mean you and I...?"

" What? No. I think romance novels are starting to rot your brain."

" Sorry, Jaune, but I'm not in the mood for jokes right now."

" Sorry. I… I don't like talking about these things, so… I guess I was trying to defend myself. Or rather, hide. Yeah, that's it. But that's no excuse. I understand."

" You remember what happened, but I don't. So I feel like... you've read my diary or something. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

" Now I wonder what else you know," Weiss said, a little nervous.

" About you? A lot of things. Except for Yang. Despite what it may seem, she's not much of a talker. But can we change the subject now, please?"

" Yeah. That would be best, " Ruby said. "Let's go have some fun. It'll do us good."

Jaune had fun with RWBY and JNPR, and for a while, he forgot about the weight on his shoulders. But it didn't last long. There were some things that couldn't be forgotten.

'You don't deserve this,' a voice inside him told him.

'You have no right to be happy.'

It was painful, but he didn't have the strength to deny what that voice said, because it was right. Because of his shortcomings, the people in Beacon had been slaughtered time and time again. Ruby's power had reversed their deaths, so in a sense he had nothing to regret, but that was just an excuse.

They had died.

They had suffered, and he couldn't be sure it was a reversal to begin with. Maybe Ruby had sent him to a parallel world, very, very close to his own, and he was simply leaving his friends behind while he ran alone towards the most convenient end.

[T/N: It could also be that alternative versions of himself are getting them from the previous world in the cycles memories to prevent the upcoming disaster.]

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind where he couldn't find it again. If that was the truth about Ruby's powers, he wouldn't be able to bear it.

He had no right to be happy… but he was. He couldn't even remember the last time he had felt this happy.

He noticed his vision was blurring.

Much to his chagrin, tears ran down his cheeks. Ruby noticed and looked at him, worried.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, but his voice came out weak and shaky.

Ruby hesitated for a moment, then hugged him.

Instead of hugging her back and leaving her there, he kissed her. Ruby's eyes widened. She didn't move to pull away or reciprocate. Those moments seemed like an eternity, but in reality, he pulled away from her within seconds, aware of how terrible a mistake he had just made.

[T/N: F*CK! YANGS COMING FOR YOUR ASS! That's the problem with a time loop, something like this always happens.]

" Jaune… you… you…" she couldn't even finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry," he said, and left.

He stopped in the garden where he had been the night before and dropped down onto the grass.

He was embarrassed that he had reacted like a teenager, but he couldn't have just stood there and faced his rejection and the reactions of the other girls. It would have been too much, and it had been a mistake to think about love in the first place.

He had a mission to accomplish, and that was the most important thing.

He heard footsteps rustling the grass behind him.

"Who are you?" Jaune asked, but the answer came a second later when Ruby's boots came into his field of vision. "Ah, so you found me."

"It wasn't difficult," she said, sitting down next to him, curled up. "I was just asked around if they'd seen a blond guy who seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere."

" Yes. I didn't hide my tracks very well."

"Because you were crying?"

That surprised him.

" Aren't you going to ask me about the kiss? "

Ruby looked away, a light blush coloring her cheeks.

" Let's leave that for later, okay?"

" I… cried because I think I don't deserve to be happy."

" Why do you think such a horrible thing? Everyone, without exception, deserves to be happy."

" You know why. You've heard my story."

" Jaune, you did what you could. And even if you think of it as a long line of failures, at least admit that it wasn't just your fault, but Ozpin's and ours as well."

" Maybe you're right. I clung to the idea that I was special in some way and that's why I'm the only one who retains their memories of the past, but that's not true, it was a coincidence, an accident."

" …I'm not sure if that seems good or bad to you."

" Me neither. I shouldn't think I'm responsible for everything, but it's not that easy. And on many occasions I was responsible. No, let me finish. Once, I didn't say anything or try anything, I just played my part in events that were already destined. Can you excuse that? I can't."

As expected, Ruby was speechless. If before she had looked at him as if she didn't know him, now she seemed almost scared of the person in front of her eyes, whoever it was.

" What about the two times I killed myself? Fed up with everything, I put myself above the rest of the world, even though I knew it was pointless, and I didn't even leave a message the first time. How do you feel about that, Ruby?"

He knew he was being cruel, but he couldn't keep quiet. Something stopped him. What? The need to make someone else feel just as horrible as he did. It was that simple. They said misery loved company, and it was absolutely true.

Ruby cried.

"I'm sorry," Jaune said, standing up straight. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Ruby hugged him, tighter than before.

" Don't talk like that. What about the people who care about you? It would hurt them if you died."

" It's not that I want to die. Not anymore."

" I care about you. You know that, right? " She pulled away from him, but didn't take her hands off his shoulders " You said you weren't with Blake, but what about you and me?"

" Yes. We only shared a kiss and a hug, but yes."

"I see."

" That's why I kissed you. I guess I wanted to think there was something there between us, even if you don't remember everything we've been through together."

" I like you, Jaune, but to me, you're just a friend. No. Or rather, I've never thought about getting into a relationship with anyone. I've never been interested in such things, and I have more important goals. So I can't accept your feelings."

" I know. You don't need to explain yourself. And thank you."

"Why?"

" For crying for me, and for allowing yourself to do so in front of me. I know you're trying hard to bottle up all your pain, to be strong."

Ruby tensed. Not just her face, but her body as well. Slowly, visibly, she forced herself to relax.

" I want to talk to you about myself. It's something I haven't even talked to my sister about, so give me time, if I have trouble doing so. And… even though I've already told you, let me finish. Because I think this is something I need to say, at least once."

"Alright."

They sat in silence for several minutes, while Ruby thought of what to say. The wind blew.

" After my mother died… well, I lost myself. I spent many nights mourning and not being able to sleep. I was writhing in the emptiness of my heart, and I lost interest in life. But that didn't get me anywhere. Staying stuck in the past never gets me anywhere. I want to be strong. I want to give hope to those around me and be powerful enough to stop them from suffering the way I did."

"That's why I can't allow myself to cry in front of other people. I have to smile, make their days a little better with meaningless nonsense. I have to be me, no matter what. Do you understand?"

"What I'm trying to say with this is that… you don't have to do the same to me, to us. Cry when you have to cry, and smile only if you feel like it. Okay?"

" And what about you? Do you think you are strong enough to bear the pain of the people you surround yourself with?"

" No. But I have to try."

Jaune closed his eyes.

After a while, he opened them again, slowly, as if he were waking up.

"Do you want to go back?" Ruby asked. "Enjoy the festival a little longer?"

"Alright."

[T/N: This is really well written in the way it so cases PTSD and depression, I've read better, but I've also read worse so this ain't bad at all. Anyway, why don't you leave a comment, write a review for this new book, and drop some stones. If you don't know I've got a few good books I'm busy with right now so why not check them out, just go to my profile, or search for the books, Invisible-A Harry Potter FanFic, and A Gamer in Game of Thrones. Or if you want to read some advanced chapters then check out the P@treon, or the Ko-fi.]

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