CONFUSED HEART

Astrid

I entered my room, feeling a rush of emotions inside me. The familiar surroundings offered me a little comfort hiding me away from him. But the confusion and hurt were overwhelming. I closed the door softly behind me and looked around. My room was my sanctuary, a place where I could escape from him.

The walls were adorned with tapestries depicting scenes from ancient legends, and a large, ornate bed sat against one wall, its dark wood polished to a shine.

I walked over to the window and sat on the cushioned seat, my favorite spot to think. The events of the morning played over and over in my mind. How Magnus had made my body ache with passion, only to push me away so abruptly. I felt tears at the corner of my eyes, but I fought them back.

As I sat there, the memory of his touch flooded my senses. I could still feel the warmth of his hands on my skin, the way his breath tickled my ear, the electric jolt his touch sent through me. His words echoed in my mind, his voice rough with emotion as he spoke to me.

"Thank you, everyone. You may leave us now," Magnus had said, dismissing the maids and the stable hand. The room fell silent with the closing of the door.

I remembered how I had stood there, my hair a tangled mess of chestnut waves, my lips slightly parted, and I was confused on why he let them go and didn't punish them but mostly relieved. The neckline of my dress revealed small cleavage which was not my intention I just quickly got into the clothes I saw his eyes trail my cleavage.

He had reached out to me, his voice soft and inviting.

"Come here," he had said, extending his hand.

I had hesitated, my eyes darting around the room, but eventually, I had taken a tentative step forward. He had pulled me into his arms, and I had felt the warmth of his body against mine. The scent of fresh pine and wildflowers clung to his hair, intoxicating me. As he buried his face in my hair, I could feel the tension in my muscles, I became stiff surprised at the sudden movements.

A stiffness that was not lost on him.

"It's okay," he had whispered, his voice barely audible. "Just let me hold you."

We had stayed like that for a while, the silence punctuated only by our breathing. Slowly, I had begun to relax, my body softening against his. I could feel my heartbeat syncing with his.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he had murmured, his lips grazing the shell of my ear. "Your hair, your lips, your body... I can't get enough of you."

I had shifted slightly, and the heat of my blush had warmed his chest. My hands had moved to his shoulders, and the sensation of his touch had sent a jolt of electricity through me. My wolf had been close to the surface, growling with desire. The pull I felt toward him was undeniable and almost unbearable.

"Astrid," he had said, his voice rough with emotion. "You have to know how hard this is for me. The moment you melted into my arms, I felt... everything. And I know you felt it too."

Our eyes had met, his full of passion and full of unspoken words. Perched on his leg, the feel of his hard chest and legs and my weight on him I ached all over with passion and it had driven me to the brink. I could sense his arousal, and I knew he wanted me there.

"I can't..." he started, his words trailing off as he moved back looking like he was struggling to maintain control. Then, as if he had realized he was about to cross a line he couldn't uncross.

With a forceful push, he had stood up, almost making me lose my balance. A maid had entered the room, oblivious to the emotional scene that had just transpired. She had seen Magnus storming out and glanced at me, leaving me standing there, shocked and unresponsive.

"Ma'am Astrid, what would you like for breakfast?" the maid had asked cheerfully, unaware of the scene that had just unfolded.

I hadn't responded at first. The maid had to tap me gently on the shoulder to get my attention. "Miss Astrid?"

"Oh, um... just some toast and tea, please," I had managed to whisper.

The maid had nodded and hurried off to the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I had rushed into my room, slamming the door behind me. My heart was pounding, and my mind raced.

"What is wrong with him?" I had muttered to myself, running a hand through my chestnut hair. "Why can't I control myself around him?"

The feel of his body against mine, the scent of his hair, the warmth of his presence—it was all consuming. His image filled my mind, my thoughts dominated by Magnus.

Tears had started streaming down my face but I didn't hold it in, I let myself fall into the emotions and I cried, blurring the patterns of the tapestries on the walls. My heart ached as memories of past rejections came to my mind. The sting of my family's disapproval still lingered, their harsh words echoing in my mind.

I had always felt like an outsider, the pain of my father's harsh treatment had left deep scars, his disregard making me question my worth.

Now, facing rejection from Magnus felt like a cruel twist of fate. He had ignited a fire within me, only to push me away when I was most vulnerable. I felt like I was trapped in a relentless cycle of rejection and pain, tears fell freely, when a knock came at the door, my heart leapt. Was it Magnus coming to apologize? I quickly dried my face, not wanting to reveal my emotional state.

"Maybe he's come to explain," I had whispered to myself, feeling an urge for his touch. "Why does he want to touch me but then push me away?"

I had stood and walked to the door, setting my face to show no emotion. But when I opened it, I was shocked to see Anel, my personal maid from home, standing there. Anel was petite, with bright eyes and dark hair pulled into a neat bun. Her impeccably pressed uniform brought a sense of comfort and familiarity.

"Anel? Is it really you?" I had asked, my voice trembling with disbelief.

"It's me, milady," she had replied, her eyes sparkling with warmth and concern.

I couldn't hold back any longer. I had run to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Oh, Anel, it's so good to see you!" I had said, my voice muffled against her shoulder.

She had hugged me back just as tightly. "I've missed you, milady. Are you well?"

"I am now," I had replied, pulling back to look at her face. "It's been so hard, Anel. Everything has been so confusing."

"I know, milady. I came as soon as I could," she had said, her face held empathy.

We had stood there, holding each other, drawing strength from each other. "Are you well, Anel?" I had asked, finally letting go and stepping back.

"I am, milady. I couldn't stay away, I knew you needed me."

"I'm so glad you're here," I had said, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "Come, let's sit and talk."