Chapter Twenty-Five: Apologies (사과)

Lee Ji-seo's POV (Point of View) 

I stayed in the library, studying Maths with Taemin and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, "Hey, maths is not a really bad subject, I'm just dumb." I said with a smile on my face after getting a maths equation right. 

"You're just realising that now?" Taemin said with a raised brow, his eyes focused on his textbook. I gave him a sharp glare and scoffed. 

"Well your English still sucks so I am practically making more improvement than you." I said proudly. It was his own turn to send me a glare. I chuckled at him, "Should we do some practice reading?" I asked, pushing away my maths textbook. 

"Yeah." He nodded then stood up from his chair to sit next to me, "I tried using Google to practice my intonations last night and I think I can get this right." He said nervously. 

"Aww, cute." I grinned, imagining Taemin sitting in his room, repeating the AI voice of Google. "Shut up." He grumbled. 

"Okay, so let's start with the basics. You know how to pronounce the letters of the English alphabet right?" I asked with a raised brow. 

"Yeah. I'm not a baby." He said sounding offended. "Okay, sorry." I giggled and brought his textbook closer, "Usually, the first step to get fluent in a language is learning?" I asked, waiting for his response. 

"The swear words." He said proudly with a smile on his face. I stared at his face with disbelief before shaking my head, "Yeah, you're right but in this case, you have to know the greetings and know how to pronounce words. So basically we would start with Oral English for now, focusing on pronunciation then we would go over to grammar." 

He nodded his head and we studied English sounds and he looked like he was about to give up, "This is so frustrating. So this is pronounced as 'f' even though it starts with a 'p'." He stared at the word 'Phone' in annoyance. 

I giggled at his reaction, "This is nothing. Just wait for silent letters in a word." "What does that mean?" He looked at me with confusion. 

"Okay take a look at this word," I said then showed him the word 'Psalm' from my phone, "How do you think it's pronounced?" 

He stared at my phone for a minute then looked at me, "P-Sa-lim" He said with pride. I looked back at my phone with disbelief then looked back at him, "Where did you get 'i' from?" I asked. 

He looked at his textbook in embarrassment, avoiding my eyes, "Isn't that how it's pronounced?" I stared at him in shock, "No but I am more concerned about where you got the extra letter from." I said with concern. 

"So how is it pronounced then?" "It is pronounced without the 'P'. So the pronunciation is 'Saam'. Do you get it now?" I asked. He looked at my phone again then looked back at me, "So where did the 'L' go?" 

I shrugged, "It's a silent letter." "Why are they wasting letters then?" Taemin grumbled. I nodded my head in agreement, "Yeah, it's because they are psychopaths. Even the word 'psychopath' in English the 'h' is just there for aesthetics." I complained. 

"Wow, that's so mean." Taemin grumbled. I nodded in agreement. "What is going on here?" We both heard a voice saw from behind us. We both turned to the owner of the voice and we saw Arin standing, holding a mop. 

I looked at the mop in confusion before looking back at her, "I have so many questions." She looked at me in annoyance, "I'm like this because of you." 

"Actually, you're in this state because of what you did to her." Taemin countered back, defending me. Arin rolled her eyes when she realised he was right, "Why are you two here so early?" 

"Are you blind? Hey Ji-seo, I think you should lend her your glasses for a bit." Taemin joked. "I came here very early so no one would see me clean the school, this is so embarrassing." I heard Arin curse under her breath and my lips rose to a smile. 

"Next time you would think twice before you do that." I said in a mocking tone then faced my textbook on the table. "I agree." Taemin said beside me, also turning back to his book.

"You hypocrite. You're talking like you haven't done the worst things in the past." Arin said referencing his bullying. 

He looked up from his book and stared at nothing, deep in thought. "Don't you have somewhere else to clean?" I said, not lifting my eyes from my book. 

I heard her huff and her footsteps leaving the library. Taemin and I sat in awkward silence for what felt like minutes, then Ha-ri walked in with Dae and Jaehyun and they took a seat at our table. "What's up?" 

"Did someone die? The air is so tense here." Jaehyun joked. "I'm sorry." Taemin suddenly said. We all looked at him then looked at each other. Ha-ri raised a brow at me and I shook my head. 

"Uh, sorry for what?" Ha-ri asked Taemin, her face showing concern. "I'm so sorry Dae." Taemin said giving Dae an apologetic look, mixed with guilt. We sat in awkward silence, not knowing how to break the silence. 

I stared at Taemin in concern, 'Is it because of what Arin said earlier?' I thought to myself. "I'm sorry for all the harm I've caused and I'm also sorry for being a shithead to you. I shouldn't have done that." He bent his head in shame. 

'Oh, I was right.' I said to myself. Dae shifted in his seat awkwardly, "It's alright. Don't beat yourself about it too much. I forgive you." 

"Yeah, and even though it was a stupid thing to do for years, and could potentially ruin your future. But, why did you start bullying him in the first place?" Ha-ri asked in confusion. 

"I actually didn't mean to. At first when I did it, I felt guilty then I started telling myself that it's fine and I'm sorry for thinking that Dae." Taemin apologised again. 

Dae shook his head, "No, it's okay. I forgive you and besides, we're friends now so let's leave things in the past okay?" 

Ha-ri nodded and reached over to tap Taemin's hand and gave him a smile. I sat on my seat looking at them in confusion. Taemin smiled then noticed me staying silent throughout his apology and his face had a guilty look all over again. 

"Uh, I've got to go. You guys can go ahead." He said getting up from his seat. "Why?" I asked as I watched him leave without responding. 

I turned back to my friends, "Is he okay?" Ha-ri sighed, "No, he isn't. He hasn't been alright for years." I looked at Jaehyun for an explanation but he just shook his head, "He'll be fine. I'll be right back." Jaehyun said before he stood up and walked out of the library. 

"He won't be fine. He will just suffer in silence like he always does." Ha-ri said before she let out a sigh. 'What does she mean by that?' I thought to myself before my eyes went to the doors of the library. 

"I hope he's okay." I whispered to myself then grabbed my phone to send him a message.

Me:

Hey, are you alright? 

My phone beeped with a notification 3 minutes after I sent that text. 

Bully: 

Yeah, I'm good. 

I glanced at the name I saved his contact with and my face scrunched up. I edited his name to "Chuck" from the Angry bird movie. 

Me: 

Should we go to karaoke after school? 

Chuck:

I won't be available. I've got somewhere to be after school. 

Me:

Oh okay. 

I placed my phone on the table with a sigh then my phone beeped again with a notification. 

Chuck:

After I'm done, we can still go for the karaoke 

Me: 

I just remembered I have a modelling session to do after school but after I'm done, I'll text you. 

Chuck:

Okay. 

Me:

Are you still coming to the library?

Chuck:

No, you guys should suffer without me.

I chuckled at his text and placed my phone down on the table and studied before class would begin.