Volume 1 Chapter 1 - The Blessing of the Celestials

Among the pantheon of heavenly gods, there is one called the laughingstock of all three worlds.

According to legend, eight hundred years ago, an ancient state called Xianle1 spread out on the central plain.

2 "Xianle" means "Divine Joy."

The state of Xianle occupied vast and rich territories, its people lived in peace and joy. The state possessed the Four Treasures: countless beauties, brilliant musicians and poets, mountains of jewels and gems. And the fourth treasure was the illustrious His Highness the Crown Prince.

And this same HRH Crown Prince was, how can I put it mildly, a rather strange young man.

The Emperor and Empress treated him like a pearl in the palm of their hands, spoiled him beyond measure, and always proudly said, "Our son will surely become an enlightened ruler, and his fame will be undying."

But the Crown Prince himself was not attracted to power, wealth, or other benefits of the mortal world.

His interest, judging by the prince's own favorite expression, was only one:

"I strive to help ordinary people in distress!"

In his youth, the Crown Prince devoted himself to self-improvement and just at that time two incidents occurred to him, which later spread around the world with word of mouth.

The first incident occurred when the prince was seventeen years old.

That year, the Xianle State was staging a solemn procession in honor of the annual offering to Heaven at the Lantern Festival.

This tradition has been lost for many centuries, but from the mouths of old people and the ancient records that have survived, it is still possible to recognize the grand and jubilant event of that festival.

Lantern Festival, Shenwu Street.

On both sides of the street, there was no place to fall. The aristocracy and nobility were having idle conversations on the upper floors of the buildings; the soldiers of the imperial army were paving the way, impressing everyone with their formidable appearance and the clinking of armor; flower petals were raining down from the snow-white hands of the young maidens who were twirling lightly in a dance, so that it was impossible to choose who was more charming - the girls or the flowers; melodious shimmers were heard from the golden carriage floating in the sky above the capital. Completing the procession was a magnificent platform drawn by sixteen white horses adorned with golden bridles.

On the high colorful platform was the one who had the honor of representing Lord Shenwu himself, he attracted the enthusiastic attention of the public.

During the solemn procession, the Shenu who played the role had to wear a golden mask, dressed in ceremonial robes and with a precious sword in his hands to perform the role of the first thousand-year-old God of War, the fighter against evil - Shenu, Emperor Jun Wu.

The one who had the honor of being chosen to play Shenwu was elevated to the pinnacle of glory, so the candidates were very carefully selected. This year's chosen candidate was His Highness the Crown Prince. The whole country was confident that he would be the best Shenyu performer in the history of the festival.

But on that day, something didn't quite go as expected.

The solemn procession, making its third detour around the Forbidden City, marched past the city wall more than ten zhang2.

2 Zhang is a measure of length, equal to 3.33 meters.

On the colorful platform, the God of War was just about to deliver a fatal blow to a ferocious demon and stab him with his sword.

This scene stirred people's hearts so much that the crowd on both sides of the street came in a boiling wave, from above on the city walls, a noisy battle for a better vantage point also broke out, with people stretching their necks, pushing forward and shoving each other.

Suddenly, a small child fell right off the city wall.

A piercing scream rang through the heavens. And when the crowd had already imagined the blood of the child sprinkling the Shenwu Street, the Crown Prince slightly raised his head. With a single leap, he grabbed the child.

The crowd only had time to see a white shadow soaring into the sky, and the Crown Prince had already calmly touched the ground with the child in his arms. The golden mask flew off his face, revealing to the world the beautiful face of a young man.

A moment more and the crowd cheered.

The common people rejoiced, but the spiritual leaders of the imperial family had a migraine.

In their wildest dreams, they could not have imagined that the prince would make such a significant blunder.

It was an ominous omen, incredibly ominous!

Each round of the colorful platform around the Forbidden City signified the pleas of the people of the state for prosperity and welfare for a whole year to come, and now that the circle had broken, it could bring the greatest calamity upon the country!

The preceptors were almost bald with sorrow and anxiety. Weighing the pros and cons, they turned to the Crown Prince, tactfully asking him to spend a month in meditation facing the wall to express regret for what he had done. There was no need to actually sit against the wall for a month, just pretend.

The Crown Prince replied with a smile, "There is no need for that."

These were his words: "Saving a child is not a crime. Can Heaven bring down its wrath on me for a just cause?"

But... what if Heaven does bring down its wrath?

"In that case, it would be Heaven's mistake, and does the one who is right apologize to the one who is wrong?"

The mentors couldn't find anything to contradict him.

This was the kind of person His Highness the Crown Prince was.

He had never yet faced an impossible task and had never yet met someone who hated him. He was considered the truth of all mankind, he was the center of the entire world.

Therefore, the mentors only had to scold the prince sorrowfully in their hearts: "What the hell do you understand!"

But there was no point in continuing the conversation, and none of the mentors dared to continue. His Highness would not listen to them anyway.

***

The second incident happened the same time, in the year of the Crown Prince's seventeenth birthday.

Legend had it that a bridge called Yinyan was built south of the Huang He, and a wandering ghost had been appearing on the bridge for years.

The ghost was a very frightening sight: clad in broken armor, with each step he left bloody flaming footprints on the ground, and sharp swords and arrows protruded from his blood-soaked body. Every few years he would appear in the middle of the night at the edge of the bridge, blocking the way of a passerby and asking three questions: "Where are we?", "Who are you?", "Why are you here?".

If the traveler answered incorrectly, the ghost would devour him. But no one knew the right answer, so over the years, the ghost had devoured countless unfortunate travelers.

Crown Prince Xianle heard about this when he traveled around the world. After finding Yinyan, he spent every night at the bridge until finally, the evil ghost appeared to him.

The ghost actually looked as frightening and terrifying as the rumors described it. The ghost asked the crown prince the first question and the prince smilingly replied, "We are in the world of men".

But the ghost responded by saying: "We are in a world of suffering."

Such was the luck, the prince gave the wrong answer to the first question.

Heir Xianle thought, was it worth waiting for the ghost to ask all three questions if he was going to wrongly answer each one anyway? Therefore, he drew his shining sword and rushed into the attack.

The battle was unprecedentedly fierce. The Crown Prince excelled in the art of swordsmanship, but the ghost also fought bravely and boldly. The battle between the demon and the human almost caused the heavens to turn back, but in the end, the ghost was defeated.

When the ghost disappeared, the crown prince planted a flowering tree on the bank by the bridge. Just then, a traveling monk passed by, who saw the prince scattering a handful of earth as he saw the ghost off on its final journey, and asked: "What are you doing this for?"

That's when the Crown Prince uttered his famous phrase, "The body abides in suffering, but the soul abides in bliss."

Hearing these words, the monk smiled fleetingly, turned into a divine general in shining armor, rode a cloud, grabbed the reins of the wind, and rode off into the dawn light. Only then did the crown prince realize that he had met none other than Lord Shenyu himself, who had personally descended to the mortal world to fight against evil forces.

The immortal celestials had spotted this very capable Shenyu performer at the Lantern Festival, when he had made a fatal leap during the procession in honor of Heaven worship. This time, after the battle at Yinyan Bridge, one of the immortals asked Lord Shenwu, "What is your opinion of His Highness the Crown Prince?"

That same night, an extraordinary storm played out in the skies above the Xianle Imperial Palace, strong winds and a thunderstorm broke out.

His Highness the Crown Prince ascended to Heaven amidst the thunder and lightning flashes.

***

Every time a mere mortal ascends to Heaven, the heavenly halls shake. Well, His Highness the Crown Prince's ascension caused the Heavenly Hall to shudder three times.

Ascension through self-cultivation was a matter of extreme and extremely difficult.

One had to have a natural gift, perfect one's body and spirit in sweat, and wait for the right opportunity. The birth of a new deity was always a long and difficult process.

It is not to say that there were no fortunate people who were honored to join the pantheon of immortals at a young age; there were also cases when long years of painful self-improvement in the end did not lead to a meeting with the Heavenly Punishment; And if the Heavenly Punishment did catch up with such a person, he died, and if he survived, he became unfit for anything; and there were not even a few mere mortals who led ignorant, ordinary lives in the mundane world and could not find their true path.

His Highness the Crown Prince was, without doubt, the favorite of Heaven. Whatever he wanted, he got; whatever he wanted, he attained; and now, as soon as it occurred to him to ascend and take his place among the pantheon of gods, he was in Heaven before he was eighteen years of age.

The hearts of the common people already belonged to him, and when the Emperor and Empress, pining for their beloved son, ordered monasteries and temples to be built all over the country, and statues to be erected in honor of the Crown Prince, the nation's love soared to Heaven. More and more became those who worshipped the prince, more monasteries and temples were erected in his honor, extending the duration of his immortality and increasing his power. And so it came to pass that in a short few years, Crown Prince Xianle, who was revered in monasteries and temples, rose to the pinnacle of prosperity, reaching the highest point of prosperity.

This continued exactly until a rebellion occurred in the state of Xianle.

***

The reason for this was the tyranny of the sovereign, against which the rebellious army revolted. But only, despite the fact that the world of people lit up with the fires of war, immortals from the Heavenly Abyss could not interfere in their discord at will. Such a thing is only permissible in the case of an invasion of demons and all sorts of evil in the human world, but since this did not happen, the celestials decided to leave everything as it is. After all, if you think about it, there are always wars in the human world, and everyone thinks they are right; what would happen if the Celestials tried to intervene? Today you are helping one country to rise from its knees, and tomorrow your celestial companion will help the descendants of another country to take revenge? It will come to a fight among the celestials, and then the whole world will fall into darkness. A Celestial like His Highness the Crown Prince should have refrained from interfering.

But he was not a law abiding person. He said to the Lord: "I wish to help ordinary people in distress."

The Emperor, who had thousands of years of divine power, didn't dare to say such a speech out loud, and one could easily imagine the effect the Crown Prince's words had on him. But even the Emperor couldn't do anything about it, only warning: "It is beyond your power to save everyone."

The prince, however, replied, "I can do it."

Therefore, obeying his principles, he descended to the world of humans.

The common people of Xianle State greeted the prince with honors. However, from antiquity to the present day, folk legends have proved to people one simple truth through many examples: if an immortal deity arbitrarily descended into the human world, nothing good would come out of it.

Therefore, the flame of war, instead of being extinguished, on the contrary - ignited an even brighter fire.

It wasn't that His Highness the Crown Prince didn't make every effort to prevent this from happening, but it would have been better for him to stay out of it altogether. The more he tried to help, the more chaos he brought to an already confusing military situation. The Xianle people suffered a devastating defeat, the state was drowning in rivers of blood, and the dead and wounded were countless. In the end, a wave of terrible fever seized the imperial capital, rebellious troops invaded the palace of the sovereign and the turmoil came to an end.

It could be said that while the Xianle State was still struggling to survive, His Highness the Crown Prince was simply the reason why it had stopped breathing.

***

The people of the dead state suddenly discovered this.

It turned out that the Crown Prince, who they had faithfully revered as a deity, was not as perfectly omnipotent as they had previously believed him to be.

And if truth be told, he was just a worthless loser who had no help, only misery!

The pain of losing his homeland and loved ones found no other way out, the grief-stricken crowd began to rush into the Crown Prince's temples in a furious wave, toppling his statues and burning everything to the ground.

Eight thousand monasteries and temples were devoted to fire in seven days and seven nights, not even ashes were left.

Since then, the God of War, the guardian of prosperity, disappeared without a trace, and he was replaced by the evil spirit of the wind, bringing misfortune.

If the people call you a deity, that's what you'll be; if they call you a dirtbag, that's what you'll be. You'll have to be what they call you. That's the nature of things.

***

His Highness the Crown Prince couldn't accept that fact, no matter how hard he tried. But there was something else that he could not accept at all, and that was the punishment he had been subjected to. Being cast down from the Heavens.

After sealing the Crown Prince's magical powers, the Celestials exiled him to the mortal world.

From childhood he had grown up surrounded by adoration, ignorant of the hardships and deprivations of a simple human life. But the punishment to which he was subjected was akin to falling into the mud from the very top of the clouds. And in that muddy puddle, the Crown Prince had to experience hunger, poverty and disgust for the first time. For the first time he had to do things he had never done and never imagined he would have to face: theft, robbery, foul swearing, hopeless despair. He had no conscience or self-respect left, he had fallen as low as he could, even his most loyal allies could not bear such metamorphoses of the prince and abandoned him.

All sorts of stone steles and tablets in Xianle State, on which was carved the famous phrase "The body abides in suffering, but the soul will abide in bliss", were destroyed without a trace even during the war. But if there had been a single one, if His Highness the Crown Prince had seen it, he would have smashed it with his own hands.

The man who uttered this phrase had experienced firsthand that when his body was in misery, his soul was far from bliss.

***

As swift as his journey to Heaven was, his fall to earth was even swifter. Both the fatal jump on Shenwu Street and the encounter with the demon and deity on Yinian Bridge3 seemed to have happened only yesterday. But the grief of the Heavenly Lodges was short-lived, for what was, has passed, and there is no need to remember it now.

3 It is figuratively said here that in a short time man had encountered both something beautiful and something terrible.

Everything went on as it was, until many years later, when the heavens shook with a deafening rumble. That same His Highness the Crown Prince had ascended again.

Throughout the ages, a celestial who had been overthrown into the human world, if he found the strength to recover from the blow, he would descend into the Demon World; there was no one who could return to Heaven again afterward. Re-ascension could deservedly be considered a great feat.

But what made even more noise was that immediately after ascension, the prince burst into the Heavenly Hall, seething with anger, determined to beat up anyone who met him on the way. And so it was not half an hour before he was pushed down again.

Half an hour is how long a single stick of incense burns. It was hardly the shortest and most rapid ascension in the history of Heaven.

And while the memories of his first ascension became a story that was passed down by word of mouth, the second time he made nothing but a lot of noise.

***

After the second overthrow, the Heavenly Heavens were filled with contempt for the Crown Prince. And besides contempt, wariness crept into the souls of the Celestials. After all, if the first punishment had driven him to such recklessness, what if he was banished again, he would plot to destroy all living things with a thirst for revenge?

Contrary to assumptions, the banished prince did not fall into madness this time, but rather, he obediently accepted his stay in the mortal world. There had been no problems with him since then, but there was still an oddity. The prince behaved, perhaps even overly virtuous.

Sometimes he made a living from street performances, playing all sorts of instruments and performing various tricks, even the trick of "smashing a stone slab on his chest" was a simple task for him. His Highness the Crown Prince's endless talents were no secret to anyone, and yet when people saw him dancing and singing songs in the streets with his own eyes, his attitude changed. Sometimes he even diligently collected junk from other people's houses.

The entire pantheon of immortal deities was in utter shock.

It was incomprehensible. It was to the point that wishing for a son to be born like Crown Prince Xianle was considered a curse that was almost as bad as wishing for the extermination of the family.

His Highness the heir to the throne, a descendant of a royal lineage that once held a place among the Immortal Celestials, had taken such a step, a pun that was incomprehensible! This was how he became the laughingstock of all three worlds.

Having laughed enough, those who were not indifferent to other people's grief sighed regretfully: the favorite of Heaven, who once sat at the very pinnacle of glory, was now gone.

His divine statues had been toppled and smashed, his home state had been razed to the ground, not a single follower was left, and his memory was gradually being erased from people's hearts. Therefore, no one knew where he had gone in his wanderings.

To be cast down from Heaven is the greatest insult that few people can bear. And being cast out a second time, no one could find the strength to rise.

***

But after many years, the day came again when the heavenly halls erupted with a deafening roar.

The heavens nearly split in two, and the whole place shook.

The lights of unquenchable lamps flickered, the celestials ran out of their palaces in fright and began to ask each other: what newly-made immortal is capable of making such a noise with his ascension?

To everyone's shock, the rapturous exclamations of "Amazing! Simply amazing!", as what they saw shocked the entire pantheon of immortals.

When are you going to calm down?!

The famous weirdo, the laughingstock of all three worlds, the legendary His Highness the Crown Prince, he... he... he... he... damn it, had once again ascended to Heaven!