Whispers of a Forgotten Childhood

I was just a kid,

I didn't need to grow up,

I needed love and care,

Not the feeling of being a burden,

I wanted be treated like a child,

With all the purity and love,

I wanted to live a normal childhood,

Like every other kid does,

I did not wish to stand apart, my gaze a river brimming with sorrow,

I longed to run among them, lost in the laughter of the stream,

I never wished to grow up,

Because I already knew that growing up would snatch my dreams,

Like shadows stealing stars from the sky.

My dreams were once a sanctuary,

A world where joy bloomed like endless dawn,

It was the only way I could fool my mind,

Although,

The little me didn't know what was coming,

A tempest roared, a hurricane howled,

A waking nightmare woven from wind and fury,

And boom..,

Everything changed, I suppose I did too,

Either my eyes faded to grey,

or life drained its colors,

I can't tell which, only that it happened after I turned eleven,

Everything was falling apart, maybe o was too,

My mind became a restless sorcerer, conjuring storms of though,

And weaving chains of unseen weight,

But there was no guardian of time,

No whispering soul to tell me I was still too young for such burdens,

In truth, it felt as though they cast a spell of silence,

Never wanting me to utter a word of it.

I would retreat to my room,

Lost in tears that flowed for hours, a silent storm within,

I would whisper to the heavens, questioning God,

Wondering what sin I had committed to deserve this punishment,

While my brother, of my own age, basked in the joy of childhood's light,

I yearned for it to be me,

To taste the sweetness of happiness once more,

I began to feel like love had forgotten me,

As if I were a shadow lost in the dark,

In truth,

I never knew love's warmth,

Nor felt the touch of kindness upon my soul,

I was made to wear the mask of maturity,

Forced to declare that I had grown,

No one ever paused to see the silent hunger of my heart,

Nor cared for what I truly needed,

Before long,

Resentment grew within me,

And I began to loathe everything and everyone in my world.

Little by little, the world lost its spark,

And there were few things left that stirred my soul,

And yet,

They called me annoying, for finding joy in the very things that once lit my heart,

I fell silent,

While my mind swirled in chaos, a storm of tangled thoughts,

Happiness had vanished, like a fleeting shadow,

Leaving nothing but emptiness in its wake,

Now, nothing stirs me,

Everything fades to dullness, untouched by thrill,

I am forever adrift, wandering in the endless sea of my own thoughts,

I create my own realm, where, at least,

I am not lost, but whole,

And in that world, I am free, unbound by the weight of reality,

A place where I can live as I am, unmasked, free to be myself,

For this world, as it is,

Is slowly unraveling me, draining my spirit with each breath,

My heart feels so heavy, as if it could shatter and explode at any moment,

So many words I long to speak, yet no one ever pauses to hear them,

And still,

They ask why I've changed, unaware of the weight that shaped me,

I long to scream that they molded me into this,

But instead...,

I remain silent.