Uncontrollable feelings

"I'm fine, I can take care of myself," she said bristly, without intending to sound indifferent to his genuine concern. It wasn't his fault that she was like this, but she hated the feeling she was having and would rather not be touched until she could face him without any guilt or shame.

The feeling she felt now was so similar to when she was little, and she hated herself after whatever she was forced to do by James, and just like then, she didn't want to be touched by any other person again.

She felt like if anyone touched her, she might throw up; the thought alone made her shiver. She didn't want to hate her husband's touch, but she felt too dirty, as though no amount of scented baths could wash her off until these ugly bruises that reminded her of everything that happened faded away with all the terrible memories.