Meeting the Criminally Strange Parents

Bellatrix blinked. Then she smiled. Then she gave a cackle of pleased amusement. No one had ever expressed an interest in her autograph before. This little fucker had to be deranged! This was a quality she could respect, were he not probably dating her daughter.

"I suppose you're the boyfriend," she said suspiciously.

'Yes, ma'am. I'm Cassius Winterhaven." Deranged but polite, Bellatrix observed. Interesting.

"Well, Winterhaven, Lyra isn't here. She's gone to take a goblin Curse-Breaker to my sister's manor. As it probably isn't safe to leave him there, she is waiting for him to break a curse, then she is returning here with him so he may recover in peace."

"A goblin Curse-Breaker! I'm missing all the good stuff," Cassius declared. He leaned forward eagerly, cheeks flushed in excitement or perhaps from the heat of the fire, Bellatrix couldn't be certain.

Bellatrix sighed. "Oh yes, things are just thrills around here," she said drily. "You are aware of Delphini, are you not?"

Cassius nodded, then hastily put a finger to his lips in a hushing gesture, eyes wide. "She could have the Floo networks hexed to notify her when her name is spoken… Like He Who Must Not Be Named had some hex placed on his name, or so legend says. You were in his inner circle, though, was there any truth to that?"

Bellatrix shrugged. "No bloody idea."

"Lyra said she's been teaching the Aurors about Auras for combative magic."

Bellatrix nodded. "It's interesting but not really for us. Her father and I, that is," she clarified with a little shrug.

Cassius grinned. "Auric work can be useful to add another dimension to spellwork, but you lot are so badass you can easily survive without it."

Bellatrix felt one corner of her mouth twitch. She liked the kid, so the fact he was most probably going to die soon was almost unfortunate. "Rodolphus will probably kill you, you know," she said with a chuckle.

"I do hope not," Cassius said sincerely. "Did Lyra tell you of my many impressive abilities? I am a most excellent catch for her, you know."

Bellatrix frowned. "If it's something perverted, we don't talk about that. In our minds, our child is pure, and if you say it is otherwise, I might have to kill you myself."

Cassius smiled, but he drew back a little. "If anyone could make a Killing Curse work through the fire, it's you, Mrs. Lestrange."

"Bloody right," Bellatrix said.

"And, of course, it's not perverted," Cassius said, returning to his abilities. "I developed a few useful skills working magical security, is all. But about Lyra...is she being safe," he asked, switching topics.

The sudden worry on his face made Bellatrix like him a little more. He cared for Lyra, else they would not be a couple, but the fact that his care showed...well, she liked that a lot. "Of course she is. We take very good care of her, and she is always with family or Aurors."

He sighed in relief, and gave her a smile. "That's good to know. She said as much, but I wanted to hear it from you, because I still worry. Perhaps it's just that I miss her. We've never been apart this long."

"You went to school together like Rod and I?" Bellatrix said, and he nodded. "That's touching and I can relate. He'll still probably kill you, though."

As if talk of killing had summoned him, Rodolphus entered the library. "I'm finally full and ready to go be bored at Azkaban...who's that in the fire?" Strolling forward to stand at Bellatrix's side, he peered suspiciously at Cassius.

The boyish face framed with soft brown curls that smiled at Rod out of the fire was all too easy for Bellatrix to picture on the top of some pole after Rod chopped it off.

"It's Lyra's boyfriend. We are finally introduced. Insanely enough, he's actually a fan of ours."

"Are we ready?" Rhadamanthus rasped, hurrying in after Rodolphus.

"Wow," Cassius said. "That must be the Acromantula bodyguard Lyra told me about. Hi there, big guy! Like those you protect, you are quite the badass."

Bellatrix would have taken all Cassius's comments as an obvious and transparent way to suck up, save for the eager light in his overly expressive eyes.

"Urm… Well, hi, then," Rhadamanthus rasped, seeming confused as to how he should behave. All eight eyes seemed to rove about as he spoke, and Bellatrix realized that it was annoying not to know precisely what or who he was bloody looking at.

"He was just about to tell me of his many impressive magical abilities," Bellatrix told Rodolphus. She couldn't help but smile as she spoke, because this was going to be amusing, even if it ended badly.

The young man held out a hand, and bowed at the waist to Rodolphus. "Cassius Winterhaven at your service, Mr. Lestrange, sir."

Rod's lips twisted… but not up into a smile. He scowled belligerently at the boy, eyes studied and calculating. "Magical abilities, is it," he asked. "Do any of those abilities involve the talent to survive your head being torn off and shoved up your own ass," Rodolphus asked conversationally.

"No, sir, I don't think so," Cassius answered hurriedly. "I can disable most hex locks, though. My Mum says I'm rather a genius at it. She calls it the damnedest thing. I am also quite good at putting up locking wards, and I have adapted them to hold not only locks in place but spells as well. It's very hard to take any spell down on anything once I've locked it down, sir."

Rodolphus's glare did not waver. "And how is that supposed to help, exactly, when I remove your head and place it ever so unkindly up your ass?"

Cassius shook his head regretfully. "It won't help one bit, sir."

Rod nodded. "I didn't think so."

"Were I ever so kindly allowed to live, though, I could use those abilities to help your Ministry in the current fight."

"I'm not known for my kind nature," Rodolphus said with a smirk. "Didn't you hear?"

"Yes, but I was hoping you were kinder to those who might become family someday."

Bellatrix and Rodolphus choked in unison.

"My abilities can be useful to the family as well as to the Ministry," Cassius went on, unperturbed.

"You just want to see Lyra," Bellatrix said with a frown. "We aren't stupid."

"Of course you aren't, and of course I do, but I could still help nonetheless."

The boy's abilities put Bellatrix in mind of those of her Uncle Orion and that made her sad. Normally when she was sad someone had to pay.

the Ministry had required an entire team to lay the wards on her family's homes, Azkaban, and the Ministry itself, yet her uncle could've done it all on his own. Granted it would've taken Orion longer but still.

Cassius could place wards alone if there was no immediate hurry, she supposed. Then the amount of time spent wouldn't be an issue. And if he worked with a team, the work would still surely go faster than without him. With a sigh, Bellatrix grasped Rodolphus's upper arm and pulled him from the library, closing the door behind them. She wanted to talk in private without Winterhaven hearing.

He was useful, and the gods knew they needed all the power they could get, but he would take their baby away, and she hated the thought of that! They'd just gotten Lyra back, after all.

"Should we see if Grindelwald is interested," she asked Rod quietly.

"No. If Grindelwald is interested, it will make it far more difficult for me to take his head off and stuff it for him," Rodolphus growled.

Bellatrix sighed, nodding. "But if he could truly make a difference, I suppose we should consider that. He does seem a decent sort even if he does intend to marry our baby. I do hate that bit, because we've just gotten her back, but it would be worse were he insufferable and useless."

"Who says he isn't?" Rodolphus growled.

"If the Ministry wants him, I could just eat him after the war is won if you don't like him," Rhadamanthus rasped.

To her credit, Bellatrix did not start, though she was mildly startled by the huge spider's presence. She hadn't noticed him following them. He'd been fast too, because she hadn't even shut the door on one of his legs.

"Who are we killing," Lyra asked, approaching with a cup of tea in hand. "Everything went well. Lucius's curse is removed and Gorse is resting upstairs." Her lips twitched. "He did charge the four times raised price too!"

"Good," Bellatrix said. "Was Lucius polite?"

Lyra nodded. "Not friendly or anything, but yes, surprisingly restrained. So whose life is being threatened?"

"Your boyfriend's, as it happens," Rodolphus said tightly.

"You are not serious," Lyra said, glaring daggers at both parents. "And you too, Rhadamanthus?" she added, turning her glare on the Acromantula."You're better than that."

Rhadamanthus blinked all eight eyes. "I am? I really don't think I am."

"Come on, prats! We'll be late for work and the Aurors shall come a bitching," Rabastan shouted from the front hall.

Rodolphus opened the door to the library and stalked in. "We have to leave for now, but this conversation is far from over, soon to be headless one," he told Cassius, who was still patiently waiting in the fire.

"Please, sir," Cassius began, then he caught sight of Lyra and his pleading expression bloomed into a boyish smile.

"Cassius! Hi! I'm sorry my parents are being psychotic," Lyra said, hurrying toward the fireplace.

"Don't set your dress on fire trying to bloody hug him," Bellatrix said drily and Lyra shot her a frown.

"She thinks I'm stupid," she told Cassius. As Lyra spoke, her gaze returned adoringly to his face in a way that made Bellatrix's stomach turn.

"Prats! Come on!" Rabastan bellowed and Rodolphus sighed.

"This is not over," he growled as he and Bellatrix left the room.

"It was epic meeting you both," Cassius called after them and Rodolphus growled a threat under his breath that involved ball mutilation and feeding the little shit to the spider.