Chapter 6. "Un-do it."

A journal entry: August 19th 2004.

(8 months into 15 years old.)

I lost my virginity when I was just 14 years old.

Not so long before this journal was written. 

It was mostly due to me just being curious about sex, and wanting to know what the big deal was. My older brothers had done the deed years before me, and they would talk and talk and talk.

Of course it would slowly build within me a potent need to not only fit in, but sate that growing beast myself. My first time was not about the sex at all, but about the status and knowledge that would come with it. In fact, after that first time I didn't bother with it for quite a while. 

I think that that fact may have played a lot into the development of a lot of my early bouts of excessive emotions and loneliness...

But ya'll aren't here for that lol 

I am sure it'll pop up in one of these entries with time.

Stick around long enough lol.

Enjoy.

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I was very bord today...

I just about rode my bike around the world with a few friends -and enemies- of mine.

 *I have no recollection of these enemies lol

I really looked forward to talking to XXXXX today (or rather knight) but she is out with XXXXX who I really don't think likes me to much...

*XXXXX and XXXXX being my then crush and her best friend -who till this day doesn't like me. 

I don't know why, but maybe I should talk to her more often?...

Or maybe not. I don't know...but I hope that whatever I'm doing wrong I can un-do it.

I don't mind...well actually, I do mind not talking to XXXXX for this day, but I hope we get to see each other some time before school starts back.

(I miss her and her soft kisses!)

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I will start with that ending lol

I never kissed her -to the best of my knowledge- lmao

So I have no idea who younger-me was trying to fool or impress! Especially as I could never imagined that that young-me would ever let anyone read these journal entries lol. 

Outside of that, I did have a couple of rather obnoxious cousins that used to visit once or twice a month...I just don't believe that they had bikes.

Hmm.

Well, maybe the other entries will tell us who these enemies were lmao

See you soon folks.