Chapter 21: Euphoria

TW: Drinking, Drug Use, Depression, Mild Sexual Content, Language.The rest of Demians week was slow and boring, he found himself thumbing through the poetry book at night from time to time and it truly had been a solace of his while Draco was gone. He would occasionally take a glimpse into his trusty key, searching for happy memories to reflect on and help him keep his sanity. Most of them were Draco, but not all of them. Recently, he had been seeing more of Professor Valor while he searched for things to quell his loneliness. His empathetic nature felt truly comforting to Demian, he felt seen, he felt respected and more so he felt intelligent when he spoke to him. This strange twist in his guts, he felt sick but also somewhat excited. A mixture of guilt could be found somewhere, deep down there. It was the day of the bonfire party in the woods, everyone was talking about it. Demian was unsure if he wanted to go, he worried about not only seeing Higgs, but also attending without Malfoy as well. He went to his morning classes, somewhat excited to potentially return the poetry book given to him by Professor Valor, it had almost been a week after all and he knew he would likely need to return it. He stuffed the book into his bag and made his way to class. Higgs was in the back, he looked so tired. Dreadfully tired. He didn't even try to hide this, he slumped over and leaned against the wall, tipping the hood of his robes over his eyes he groaned softly. Demian felt guilty, he had only been looking worse and worse as the days went by and he didn't know how to ease his heartbreak, only how to make it worse. The professor came in, the whispers amongst the other students stopped and he set his stuff down."Good afternoon class." he said, clasping his hands together. It could be heard audibly from throughout the classroom as everyones gaze was transfixed on him. Demian looked around and could see multiple of the girls smiling, their eyes completely glued to him. Pansy included. He hadn't realized just how many people must have allured by his charms. Demian wondered how many other poetry books he might have given out. And he felt a stab of jealousy in his stomach, but he didn't know why. Professor valor had them practice multiple incantations of the charms they had learned throughout the year. The importance of their exams weighing heavily on not only them, but him as well. He walked around the classroom, helping each table individually, when he made his way to Demian, who was sitting alone he smiled. "Valentino. Well, do you have anything you need help with for the upcoming O.W.L.s testing coming up?" He said, unsure if he was saying it right.Demian just shook his head, that familiar stab of jealousy still piercing him. "No Professor, I think I'm okay." He said, still trying to respect his elder."You're sure?" Well then, if you think of anything be sure to stop by beforehand." He responded, with a warm smile before announcing to the rest of the class. "Alright, if any of you need absolutely anything to help you prepare for the examinations, don't hesitate to ask me. I would love to give everyone the individual attention that they need." Pansy fanned herself playfully and some of the other girls in the class giggled to each other. As the class funneled out Demian waited to be the last one, he opened his bag and pulled out the poetry book, eager to give it back and hopefully put an end to whatever fantasy he might have been conjuring in his own head. He walked up to his desk and without a word put the book down, Professor Valor responded "No notes? Nothing? You won't even tell me what you thought?" Professor Valor picked up the book and opened it to a familiar page, "Not even on Percy Shelleys masterpiece?" he said, a curious smile crossing his lips. He quickly closed the book and Demian felt his cheeks burn. "No It...it was beautiful. I had never read anything like that before." "Not many young people have, actually. Since it was written in 1819." He responded, seemingly having the answers to everything. "He was truly a great artist. But most great things aren't recognized until death." Demian stood there, listening intently, he studied his face as his professor meticulously caressed the spine of the book before setting it down once more. "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." He finally said. "I did enjoy it, very much." Demian felt bold for a moment, "Did you mark that page on purpose?" He chuckled."Truthfully, the page was already marked when I checked it out. I wish I could take credit for such an alluring ruse, but I did choose to leave it like that. I thought to myself, no one would appreciate this sonnet more than you." Demian stammered, unsure of how to respond, "I...I felt very moved by it, I did think about it many nights this week." "Then it seems my intuitions may have been right, I'm glad you truly appreciated it, I hope you take more of an interest in poetry from now on." Demian smiled at this, the warmth he felt from the encouragement to learn and experience new things made him feel safe, and comfortable. "I do, Professor. If you ever find anything else you think I'd enjoy I would love to read it." "I'll keep that in mind" he responded, "So, is there anything about the OWLs you may have needed?" inquiring again, in a professional manner. "No, but-" He tried to stop himself. "What is it?" Christian replied. "I just have to know, how old are you?" Professor Valor laughed, he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair before exhaling softly, "I wish I knew what everyone's obsession was with knowing how old I was at this school." He trailed off, "I'm no younger than Professor Snape was when he took his job here at Hogwarts, he was 21 at the time. You know, he's a renowned scholar, one of the smartest men in the country, I hear." He could tell he admired the man. Demian never thought much about Snape, he was so cruel most of the time that he never bothered to inquire anything about him. Now he even felt guilt about that. "So you're only 21?" Demian was somewhat shocked, he carried himself in such a manner it almost seemed impossible. "Only 21? If only you knew how hard I worked to get here this young." He relished in his own sigh for a moment, staring off into the distance. "But anyways, has that given you all the answers you need for the night, young Valentino?" "I think it does, young Professor Valor." He responded back to him, this made Christian smile. "Good, now go learn something." He said.Demian finally left, feeling lighter than air. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*As he walked through the hallway towards his dorm a familiar grip wrapped around his wrist, pulling him into a smaller corridor. Demian recognized the scent immediately, Draco. He turned to him and before he had a chance to speak he was being kissed, forcefully. Demian let out a soft gasp and kissed him back, one of his strong hands holding his face still. He put his fingers over Dracos, "I missed you." Demian said quietly. "And I missed you." Draco replied before reaching up and protectively gripping his present, wrapped securely around Demians neck. "When did you get back?" "Just this morning, actually. I was too tired to come to class though, I thought I would surprise you after." Demian studied his face, he had an unfamiliar scratch along the side of his neck and Demian touched it curiously, "It's nothing." He said, instinctively. "Don't worry yourself with what I've done, It was a necessity." He said with an enigmatic aura about him. "If you say so..." Demian responded. "Now what are we getting into tonight, I heard there was something crazy happening in the woods." Demian nodded, "Everyone's talking about it, it seems there can't be one quiet weekend here." "You sound like my mother" Draco said, laughing a bit and this made Demian blush. "Fuck you, I already said I was going." He replied. "Good, then let's go. I tire of waiting to be alone with you." Demian blushed again as Draco took his hand, leading him away from his own dorm and towards Malfoys instead. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.They walked in together, securely shutting the door behind them. Draco quickly kicked his shoes off and started rummaging through his dresser for clothing. Demian came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist which made Malfoy smirk. He was much taller than him, Demians face pressed securely between his shoulder blades. "Can't' keep your hands off me huh?" He said, jokingly. "I truly can't" Demian responded, squeezing him protectively from behind. "It was torture being without you." "I know it was. But I'm home now. And I hopefully won't have to be gone again anytime soon" He replied, but an unsure tone could be heard in his voice. "I hope not" He finally released him and Draco turned around, playfully nipping at his lip with his teeth before kissing him again. "Now come, let's shower and get dressed for this party." Malfoy pulled out his clothes for the evening, all black as usual, taking Demians hand and leading him to the shower. He slowly shed his clothes off in front of Demian and he bit his lip a bit, watching quietly. "Well come on, don't act all shy on me now." He said, looking over at him. Demian started to undress slowly, folding his clothes up and putting them onto the countertop, he stood there for a moment completely nude, feeling Malfoys gaze upon him he blushed immediately. Draco motioned for him to come and he obliged, stepping into the shower. The warm water scorched his skin for a moment, he sucked air through his teeth and jumped to the side, Malfoy wet himself entirely, chuckling. "You always were a baby about the water." He said, running his hands back through his hair to completely soak it. Demian watched the streams of water glaze over his body, he studied his chest, a few more scratches were etched into him. He stepped forward, standing under the water he had finally adjusted to and trailed his fingers lightly over them. Suddenly he felt a firm grip on his wrist, "I told you not to worry, I'm fine." He said, and Demian could hear a tinge of annoyance in his voice. He obeyed, placing gentle kisses along his collarbones instead. Goosebumps scattered across Malfoys arms and he felt a firm hand slide around his waist, pulling him in tighter. He melted into his grip, the feeling of safety enveloping him more than the steam that surrounded. They each cleaned for the party, admiring one another for a while before they dressed, Malfoy eager to get a drink in him after his long week. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*Demian walked to the forest with Malfoy, they had actually never been seen at an event together and he had an unfamiliar nervousness about it. He didn't know what type of reactions to expect, when almost everything has been behind closed doors, and for good reason. His palms grew slick with perspiration, and he found himself wiping them on his jeans often, "Relax" Malfoy said, confidently. "Everything will be fine." He brushed his jawline with his thumb as they rounded the trail up to the party. There was a huge bonfire stationed in the middle, mounds of rocks molded meticulously into a pit to carefully contain the flames. People from all years could be spotted, apparently word of the party spread farther and wider than even they could imagine. "Wow." Demian said, scanning the dozens and dozens of bodies for a familiar sight. He finally laid eyes on Peter and he tugged Malfoy in that direction. They passed close by the bonfire, its warmth relaxing and comforting on this cold night. Although the snow was gone, the wind was still nipping at his exposed flesh, hungry to steal his body heat. "Demian!" Peter said, he lifted his cup in the air, clearly already having had a few tonight. "I was hoping that was you." Penny tried to smile but you could tell she wasn't having the best night. She clutched her cup in her hand, staring into it. "Hey where's Mordred? Demian said. "He was right here a second ago." He said, taking another sip from his cup. "Where did you get that?" He pointed to the drink and peter motioned to the right of them where a large cauldron was sitting, its contents looked boiling, however it was cold to the touch. Malfoy took this as a sign, "And I'll be right back." He said, walking over and grabbing two cups, filling them up for the both of them. Demian stood there, waiting, scanning the party. He saw Astoria in the corner, she looked like the life might be returning to her, a genuine smile on her face as she talked amongst her friends. He didn't know why he felt so guilty for her, after everything that happened, but he did. He took much less pity on Pansy who he felt still hid behind her deceptions, forever scheming something. Before long Malfoy returned, he handed Demian a cup and he put it to his lips, it was a flavor he actually liked for once, mulberry wine. Draco downed his cup in one go, heading back for another. Demian could tell even if he seemed confident at times, he was just as nervous as he was. "So are you having a good night Penny?" Demian said, curious to see how she was doing. "Yeah, of course I am." She tried to force a smile but Demian could tell she wasn't truly enjoying herself. He looked over at Peter and nudged his head in Pennys direction, mouthing the words "fix this" before Malfoy showed back up. Demian sipped his drink again and finally felt Malfoy relax, a familiar touch draped over his shoulder and pulled him closer, but his eyes were scanning the room still. He looked up at Draco and caught his gaze, whispering "Relax." And Draco finally smiled, rolling his eyes a bit and taking another sip of his drink. Peter was leaning against Penny a bit, planting soft yet slightly sloppy kisses on her forehead. "Man, you guys I am having so much fun." He said, slurring only a little bit. Demian laughed, "Yeah, we can tell." This time even Penny chuckled. In the distance he could see Mordred, who for once was actually having a conversation with someone who wasn't them. A girl actually, Susan Bones. A redhead who had been in the same class as them for a while, but Demian never really noticed her. He was happy for him. Peter was swaying to the music and still sipping his drink, half of which was falling to the floor and Penny had finally had enough. "Alright Peter, I think you had enough she said." She tried to take the cup from his hands and he looked sad but obliged realizing he upset her. "Penny, I-" He choked a bit "I'm sorry" She tried to once again force a smile and took him by the hand, "I think we better go Demian" She said and even Demian agreed. He felt bad for Penny, but at least they left hand in hand and he hoped things would smooth over. "Looks like it's just us now" Draco said, smirking at him. He drank the rest of his drink while Demian still sipped his first and felt that craving for a cigarette, and Peter had just left. Malfoy shook his empty cup, motioning to Demian. "Do you need another?" Demian shook his head, "No, but I would really like a cigarette." Malfoy smiled at him and ran his thumb across his bottom lip softly. "Anything for you." He held one finger up to Demian and disappeared into the night, searching for his craving. Demian stood there for a moment, the shadows cast from the bonfire illuminating the night. He could see Malfoy on the other side, his extended hand out in front of Goyle who dare not refuse him what he asked for. And then he saw Higgs. Standing against a tree in the back, 6, maybe 7 cups on the ground beside him. His arms were folded and he was alone, simply watching the commotion. And without warning, Malfoy showed back up, two cigarettes in his hand and another drink for Demian, even though he hadn't asked for one. "Come on, half-blood, loosen up." He said, motioning for him to drink more. He pulled a lighter from his pocket, likely stolen from someone else as well and lit it, taking a small drag before putting it to Demians lips, who inhaled and held it for a few seconds, relishing it. "Fuck it's been a while" He said. "it has" Draco replied, and he boldly grabbed Demians cock through his jeans, which made him blush immediately. Draco just laughed and Demian downed his drink, grabbing for the other while holding the cigarette in his other hand. "God look at that loser." Draco said, nodding in Higgs direction. "I ought to give him a show, from the both of us." Demian felt guilty but before he had time to protest, Draco cupped his face and pressed his lips against his. He kissed him deeply, his tongue requesting entrance and Demian tried to turn away, but Draco refused. He just kept kissing him until he choose to break away, still pressing his lips against his jawline. His anxiety welled up as his eyes met with Higgs as he watched, the commotion of the party around them almost felt as though it had stopped. And for a moment, they were only looking at each other, a look that was etched into Demians mind in the worst way. "Draco please, not here." He said. He scoffed once, displeased and nipped at his ear with his teeth. Demian felt goosebumps across his skin and a soft moan left his lips, even as he tried to restrain it. "Tch, you know, you should learn to stop caring so much what others think. At least that's what you would tell me." He said, taking another sip of his drink. Demian hit the cigarette a few times, downing his second drink his head finally began to swim. He looked up at Malfoy who was finally smiling and had his arm securely around Demian. He threw his empty cup into the fire and a few of the other Slytherins cheered as the flame emitted a little higher. Apparently, Draco was putting something a little stronger in his own drinks. He smirked at the attention, lighting the second cigarette he had and finding a rather large stump to sit on, pulling Demian to his lap. He secured his arm around his waist, smoke rising from the other hand. "You know this is fun and all, but I'm so fucking ready to get you home." He whispered under his breath. Demians heart skipped a beat and he nodded in agreement and Draco didn't hesitate. He flicked his cigarette into the fire, exhaling what little smoke was left and picked Demian up in his arms, cradling him. He walked right past Higgs on his way out, scoffing a bit. "Enjoy your night, fucker." Draco said as they passed. Demian could see the sadness in his eyes overcome him, over Malfoys shoulder he could make out tears falling down his cheeks. He saw him pull a small vial from his jacket, dumping several drops into his mouth before a smile came back to his face, even through the tears that refused to stop flowing. Demian felt a sickness in his gut, he looked away and the guilt ate at him the entire way back to the dorms.