Key to a Clear Mind

At midnight, when everyone had gone to sleep, I stood alone in the room, closing my eyes.

Read and predict...

In the darkness, a faint white smoke began to appear. It twisted and coiled, forming a faceless figure. The figure raised its hand in a defensive stance. I followed suit, stepping my right foot back.

The figure launched a straight punch with its right hand. I dodged, ducked underneath, and delivered an uppercut. The figure took the hit and staggered back, a swirl of white smoke gathering around its hand. A long sword formed.

I conjured an imaginary long sword for myself. The figure charged at me, its body low like the attacking stance Master Liang had used in the morning.

This time, instead of jumping back, I leaped up to dodge the attack. But the figure quickly reacted, stabbing me through the throat.

"I lost again."

The figure returned to its original position, resuming its sword stance.

"Let's try again," I smiled, feeling more capable than ever.

I continued to train with my imagination. The figure always attacked me with the same move, but I always lost. Even though it was an imagined faceless figure made of white smoke, it had the strength and speed of Master Liang, and I was far from even being a fraction of that.

However, the more I practiced, the more I felt I was about to overcome the figure's low stance. It was like spending hours solving a difficult puzzle. I was on the verge of finding the answer I wanted.

This time, I circled behind the figure. Its back was completely exposed. As I rushed in, preparing to deliver a decisive blow to my imagined 'Master Liang,' my forehead slammed into a hard wall. I fell to the ground, dazed. My head throbbed as if it wanted to scream. When I opened my eyes, I saw I had collided with the wardrobe.

I guess next time I should practice outside.

Lying in bed, I tossed and turned. I had no idea what time it was. My mind was filled with thoughts about the first day of a new life.

Can I really do this?

I closed my eyes, trying to calm everything down. After about half an hour, I finally drifted off to sleep.

The next day

I went to the Meditation area after lunch. It looked so serene, surrounded by numerous trees. In the middle of the courtyard, there was a large pond with a round table set in the water. Yang was sitting there meditating. At the end of the hall, there was a huge velvet curtain painted with the Bagua.

I approached the pond and looked down. The water was clear, reflecting my face, disheveled hair, and shoulders.

'Takehito,' Yang's voice startled me from beside.

'How... How did you get here so fast? You were way over there a minute ago!'

'You were just standing there like a statue, not paying attention,' Yang laughed.

'Yang, I thought you were a fighter? Are you also a follower of Buddhism?'

'I'm not a monk. I just pray and meditate. This clan has a teaching: a good warrior must have a pure body and mind. Meditation helps me cleanse the impure emotions in my mind and master my energy. I meditate regularly to sharpen my focus for battle.'

I listened and nodded.

'Today, one of our monks will teach you how to meditate. I believe you two have met before.'

As Yang spoke, an elderly, hunched monk approached us. His silver beard swayed with each step.

'Monk Li Huang!' I exclaimed happily. Even though we had only met recently, encountering a familiar face among so many strangers in the mansion made me feel much more at ease.

'Nice to see you again, Kurogane," the monk greeted me with hands clasped. 

We quickly began our first meditation lesson. I had read through one of the books on meditation earlier that morning before lunch. I sat in the position described in the book, which Monk Li Huang approved.

"Before we start, do you know the purpose of learning meditation?" Monk Li Huang suddenly asked. I hesitated.

"Erm... Yang said he meditates to sharpen his mind for battle. He said it helps him focus."

"That's a good way to utilize it. But I'm not asking about the young master. I want to know your purpose."

I fell silent, feeling confused. I didn't really know the answer.

"Meditation is to settle the chaos within you."

"Is my mind... really that chaotic?"

"Each of us has Chaos within our hearts," the monk explained gently. 'Do you know how the Entity of Chaos was born?'

The monk placed his hand on his chest.

"It was a collection of the chaos in human hearts since the dawn of time. It grew stronger as humanity experienced periods of suffering, war, and bloodshed. It feeds on that chaotic energy, and gradually, that energy solidifies, giving it awareness."

"Kurogane, if you cannot defeat the chaos in your own consciousness, you will be devoured by it. You cannot settle the Chaos if your inner self is not as calm as the surface of a pond in autumn."

With the monk's guidance, I closed my eyes and focused on my breath. I tried to calm my anxious mind and feel the peaceful surroundings with my body. The sound of birds singing and the water lapping against the shore seemed to become clearer. I could feel the warmth of the sunlight shining down on me, a warm current enveloping my body.

In my mind, I felt as if I had wandered into a truly serene landscape. The tension in my shoulders began to ease.

Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared. It was Kyou. The peaceful landscape shifted, and I found myself sitting in a dimly lit room.

Next to her, two other shadows emerged. They were my father and mother. We were sitting at our familiar family dining table. The atmosphere became suffocatedly thick, and heavy.

"Tacchan, why aren't you eating?" I heard my sister ask. I looked up at her. Her appearance horrified me. She was pale, her eyes gray, and a stream of fresh blood trickled from her mouth.

Across the table, my parents began to fight, then transformed into two gigantic centipedes, struggling to sink their jaws into each other. Father flipped Mother over and tore her head off with his sharp teeth.

I jolted awake, gasping for breath.

"Are you alright, Kurogane?"

I looked around, recognizing the previous scene. I was still sitting in the same position, facing monk Li Huang. Sweat dripped down my forehead and neck. My throat felt dry, making me nauseous.

"I... I can't do it."