Hope

Why, why felt hope for a guy that genuinely didn't love you? Maybe he did, maybe he genuinely did. But vanished right after seeing her.

It felt weird, why was he suddenly distant from me? I asked if we could call, he said we couldn't. What went wrong? Am I that desperate for his attention that he hesitated to, or actually couldn't? My hope for love on him was still there, patiently and impatiently waiting.

Seeing from afar, dancing with another girl. It's not prom, it's just a practice for a show st our school. We didn't get to dance together, because the girl who authored the dance seperated us for some reason. Why change partners in dancing? Does that symbolizes that you're gonna change partners too?

Trying to lure it out from him, was honestly not the best experience I hoped for.

"Tell me!"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Please tell me."

"I'm here, don't be scared to tell me."

Not the biggest bomb, but hurted when knew the truth. Hope, a spark that I lost when he told me.

"It's true that I've lost feelings for you. I tried fixing it, but failed so miserably. 2 weeks, of trying. Failed. I want to say sorry, for all the wrongdoings I did. Pray for me, maybe I'll find the feelings to get to you. Or maybe, you'll find a better man."

Tears were dropping down his eyes, unable to handle what's sliding through.

"You don't know my real temper, and I don't want you to meet my real temper."

"Thank you for understanding, Aini. For now on, we're staying as friends okay? Thank you, and sorry, for getting a boy like me. "

"You're the first person who I really, really loved. Unexpectedly lost feelings, I hate this life."

"Terima kasih Nur Aini binti ___ sebab pernah hadir dalam hidup aku."

I said I'd wait for him, he said I didn't need to. He wasn't in the mood for loving anymore. I don't know if I regret digging more. It felt surreal, I hate that feeling.

Why must it happen?

Why?

Why.