What Once Was

 I flew away from the battle and ascended into the clouds, soaring through them like a bird.

The wind smacked my body all over, serving as a reminder that I was, indeed, still alive to some extent. However, I was merely a shadow of my former self. Only my yearning for blood and war persisted within me.

That made sense as that same desire turned me into an |_ _ _ _ _ _ _|. All |_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| had a reason why they became one. Those very desires beckoned our God. She spoke to us in a gentle and calm voice, slowly speaking sweet words into our minds like a lullaby sung to a sleeping child.

It always felt like I was in an endless dream that became my reality—a dream that I would never wake up from because I gave in to my desires. Now, that dream brought me to where I left off: the home of Leon The Phoenix, a man spoken about constantly in his kingdom.

I came here to see if this man would live up to the words spoken about him.

At first, I wasn't impressed. I threw him around like a stuffed animal. Yet that stuffed animal dared to bear its fangs at me, uselessly swinging its arms and claws at me. I struck back the toy, barely showing a fraction of my power as I had dulled due to not fighting a worthy opponent in many years.

This stuffed animal rekindled a long-lost fire in my being and slowly brought it out and into the open. Funny enough, this stuffed animal had a few tricks up its sleeves as I became increasingly surprised with each exchange.

No, he was not a stuffed animal, but he was more like a puppy biting at my pants. He could bare his fangs at me and show glimpses of what he would grow into. That alone excited me and brought me joy seeing the fire in his eyes.

Just that gave me the power I locked away.

I would hold back most of my power to find some opponent that could handle me, yet none could be found in one hundred years of me not fighting. Maybe he would help me reach my |_ _ _ _ _ _ _|, the thing all beings are given when born. The one thing cannot be determined to be a curse or blessing until they reach it.

'Now that I think about it, could I help Leon reach his |_ _ _ _ _ _ _|?' I shook my head as a headache slowly appeared.

All this thinking hurts my head. That's more of Jaeger's thing.

I flew above the clouds and twirled around as the sun hit my body, giving me beautiful warmth. It's genuinely fantastic to have such a feeling.

I thought back to the child they had with them and couldn't help but lick my lips.

The Marked Child? The Prophesied Child that will bring ruin? Now that was someone I wanted to fight. I wonder how strong he will be if I groom him. Show him strength he could never overcome no matter how long he trains.

Would he submit to the fear? Or would he push forward to reach his |_ _ _ _ _ _ _|? I could help tip the scale in the direction I want to stoke the flames that will spark in the child's soul.

Can I successfully do it, tho? Could I bring out the inner warrior in Leon and the child? Or would I fall before then? Only time will tell, but I know that I must regain my former power.

War is coming, and I need it to fulfill God's wishes, as I am one of her |_ _ _ _ _ _ _|, one of her most trusted and prized warriors.

She alone is fit to rule the cosmos and all the infinite realms and universes that hold them. Lord is not fit to do so, as he is only Lord in name. He has no actual power and will lose it all when she awakens.

I am selfish, but I owe my current being to her, my God. However, that is to say, I do not act with my benefits in mind.

My collection wishes to add more to it. Maybe my collection has something to do with my |_ _ _ _ _ _|. That would make sense if so, as it is my most prized possession.

If I had to describe my collection, it would be equivalent to an art piece from a museum but just gorey.

"Wonderful," I whispered.

The sun hit my body as I flew above the clouds, exhilarating me. I loved the feeling of the sun hitting me and was grateful for God blessing me. She gave me the most freedom I could ask for: the ability to fly anywhere, anytime.

The closer I got to my destination, the more thoughts appeared in my mind. The more thoughts appeared in my mind, the more I confirmed my suspicion.

I was sure this Holy War would be much more intense than the last one. According to my intuition, this one will be the final one. Reality will shake, laws will crumble, and society will fall. The strong will survive, and I will finally get what I want.

In preparation for when that time comes, I must drown myself in the power of |_ _ _ _ _ _ _|. This ancient power source gave all of us |_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| our power. Now, I must return to my roots, rediscover my old power, and ready myself. Only then will I hope to reach my |_ _ _ _ _ _|.

***

Before Leon Left The Hospital

Despite being a boy, I became accustomed to staying in this pink room. Was it to my taste? Hell no. However, how could I complain? It was much better than being stuck outside like I was before.

Elaine sat in a chair before my crib, discussing her day. It mainly consisted of typical daily things such as eating breakfast, talking with the villagers, doing chores around the house, and caring for Leon.

From what I understand, Leon was in a coma of sorts for about a few days. Elaine talked slowly and in small words as if I were an idiot.

I may be a child, but does it look like I'm an idiot?

Anyways, she has been Leon's maid since she awoke. Listening to her talk was incredibly dull, like reading an old-school newspaper, but that didn't mean I wasn't paying attention.

Elaine slowly unraveled the mess of things that made up the person "Elaine." From feeling helpless because she wasn't strong enough to fight, she was protected by Leon and the others.

However, Leon was in her shoes this time, being cared for and completely helpless.

She felt as if the gods answered her prayers that they would take care of him. However, the gods probably didn't care much for them- they cared only for themselves.

Elaine stopped coming home every day around the one-week mark of Leon being in the hospital, and instead, a young female elf stayed with me—someone I had never met before.

The elf is beautiful, with greenish-blonde hair. She wore a white dress that looked like a tunic. Her blueish-yellow eyes peered over the railing of the crib, watching me. She would come and watch me, not saying anything. The only thing she would do was stare at me as if she were watching a movie. 

What the hell is wrong with this woman? Do I have something on my face?

I tried to reach out and grab my face but couldn't. Curse these tiny ass hands. Mildly annoyed, I sighed, which translated into a baby's rambling.

"I don't know what to do with you. Am I supposed to play with you?" The mysterious lady got up and loomed over my bed for a second before poking my face.

Don't poke me in the face! I tried pushing her finger away and instead gently squeezed it. Annoyed a bit, I began cursing, only to babble on again as a baby. The elf blinked at me.

"How soft. The saying "Smooth as a baby's bottom" makes sense now." She began to move her hand gently across my body and showed a relaxed expression.

"I love it! So smooth! If only my skin were this soft!"

This was my day-to-day experience with this woman, whose name I still don't know. She would leave me in the crib, sit there, rub my chin and cheeks, and hold my hands. The elf would not take me out of my crib and leave me in my cage like a pet.

How humiliating.

She kept me in the crib while feeding me, changing my diaper when I went to the bathroom and various other baby things. It was humiliating as a person who was a man not that long ago. If I can get the chance to escape, I will give her a piece of my mind.

How can I get out of this damned thing? Oh, I Know. I started talking, translating to baby rambling, and I added crying to make it seem more believable. It worked, too, as the elf began to panic.

"What's wrong, little one? Is there something I missed while taking care of you? Thirsty? Hungry? Tired? What do I do? What do I do!"

You know, I thought elves were intelligent. They were always portrayed as brilliant beings, yet I don't believe this one has ever dealt with children.

If only I could move my infant hands more, I could make gestures, so I grabbed the air and forced my hands around weirdly.

"I would never think that I would be doing this. That is the curse of being the Sage of Insight." What? The Sage of Insight?"

I've never heard of such a name before.

Elves were wiped out in my own time thanks to Lucifero waging war on all creation. Humans, Dwarves, Elves, and all the other subspecies of creatures banded together against Lucifero and his army of demons. As for the name, maybe it is only for Elves, or it could be a name for mages who have reached a certain level of magical insight. Either way, it was a new name to me.

She gave me a weird look before gently, and I mean gently, grabbing me from my butt and back. The elf held me, her arms under my body like a hammock. She eyed me with newfound light like she was holding a prized possession.

"This was taken away from me, things ordinary people take advantage of. I'm envious, even if it's only a bit. I wish that I could be born without this burden. This power is a cage, with me chained in it... I guess I should enjoy it while I can." She showed a sad expression as she said those words.

'What is she talking about?' I wondered.

She got up from the chair and raised me in the air.

"What am I to you? Well, Arnold is Leon's brother, and I am his sister. So that would make me your... aunt. I'm... an aunt." Her expression did a complete 180 from what it was moments before.

The elf spun around with me while I was in the air, and I felt horrible. I began to tell her to stop, which resulted in me crying- somehow.

"I'm sorry, I got too excited. Oh no! Please don't throw up!" Just when she said that I felt something coming up from the depths of my soul.

A horrible feeling that I haven't felt in years. Vomit came flying up to my throat and out my mouth like a tsunami. It hit my face, her face, and both of our clothes. Everything I ate today, which was apple sauce, was flying about.

"Ewww!" The elf shouted as she tripped and fell on her butt, holding me gently but tightly.

"I'm sorry! Let me put you don't first and clean up everything." She placed me on a blanket not covered in throw-up on the floor and got up. Standing above me like a giant, she began moving her hands, with them, the winds, moisture in the air, and heat from the room.

She weaved them around and about, removing vomit from herself, the blankets, the floor, our clothes, and me. It felt like a gentle summer breeze flowing over my body near the beach. I've only felt this once before being thrust into battle, but it was a nice feeling in a not-so-drastic situation.

From that day onward, I was taken out of my crib and shown around the house slowly.

If only my cursed new body weren't that of an infant, I would be fine, but I had no control over my bodily actions. So, I was limited on how long I could be out and about while the elf carried me.

It was fun, at least for my infant body and attention span; however, for my adult mind, it was pure torture.

Time was hard to keep track of because my attention span refused to work with me to focus long enough to remember, but if I were to estimate, it would be about three weeks—three weeks of being held by an unknown woman, fed, changed, bathed, etc. by that woman.

It was not hell, but very close.

During those three weeks, I would get to know who this woman was through her brother, Arnold.

Arnold reported on Leon's recovery and spent small bits of time with his sister. Two weeks ago, Leon was able to start his physical therapy to try to awaken his disrupted nerves. Elaine has been caring for him every step of the way as if her life depended on it.

"Her dedication to ensuring he is taken care of is incredible. It's like her life depends on it." Arnold said as he finished talking to Merlin, the elf caring for me.

I learned that after a week of being allowed to walk, Leon can walk alone somewhat. He seemed to recover steadily and would return to normal soon, which is good for him.

Not much longer after that, Leon and Elaine came home with, "We're home!"

At the time, Merlin was sitting in the living room on the three-seater couch with me in her arms. She looked up and gave a warm smile in return.

"Someone has been waiting to see you for quite some time now. I'll give you some alone time with the little one." She handed me over and excused herself from the house, leaving us three in the living room.

"It's good to be home after almost a month away. I'm sorry for-" Leon got cut off by Elaine, who put her right pointer finger in front of his mouth to make him stop.

"It's over now; don't worry about it. We all have our moments of vulnerability. Sometimes, we must rely on others to help us in such states," she said as she rocked me.

Leon began to protest, but Elaine interrupted him once more. She gestured to me before smiling.

"What we should do instead is finally give our little one a name." This change of subject brought a bright smile to Leon's face, and a newfound light shone on Leon.

"I'm finally a father, something that didn't seem like it would ever happen. Now that it has finally come, I have a name. A powerful one to show that our boy will be a strong and healthy child when he grows up. You shall be the light in the dark, my guiding moonlight."

Leon smiled, tears streaming down his cheeks while mucus dripped from his nose.

What could be the reason for his behavior? This was not that big of a deal. So what if I was his "child" now? Is it that important to warrant such an emotional response?

Was there something I failed to realize?

Whipping the snot and tears away, all that was left was his child-like smile illuminating the room.

"Welcome home, Lancelot."