Chapter 15: Plan B, Go!

On the main road, Li Pi was still feeling uneasy.

"Second Brother, if we stole Grandpa's coffin, won't he get so angry he might have a health scare or something?"

Li Xian, who had recently become quite familiar with the old tricycle, held the steering wheel with one hand in a relaxed manner. He waved his other hand dismissively at Li Pi's worries. "Don't worry!"

"How can it be nothing? Yesterday, Big Sister-in-law almost used a walking stick to fight over the coffin! If it weren't for Zhang the Mute, we wouldn't know how it would end. We just took the coffin without saying a word; Grandpa will surely be furious at home!"

Furious?

Li Xian snorted, nearly bursting into a pig-like laugh.

He knew the situation all too well. Li Daoyun, when he was young, had studied in a Taoist temple and learned some divination and similar practices. He was always a bit superstitious.

Since he couldn't go out to do fortune-telling anymore, Li Daoyun had channeled all his energy into calculating his own lifespan, and each time, the results suggested he was nearing the end.

That's why he had prepared a coffin early, always ready to meet his end.

But Li Xian had come back from the future and knew well that the old man lived to be ninety-six! By the time he was in junior high, the old man had still not left this world.

He had a perfectly natural death.

In the hundred years of the forest farm, the person who probably lived the longest was Li Daoyun.

When the old man's funeral was held, people set off firecrackers at every household to wish for longevity for the elderly—an actual joyful farewell.

Before that, the old man had used up three coffins.

Seeing Li Pi worried that the old man might get upset, Li Xian was truly not concerned: "Fourth Brother, just relax. Grandpa will live long!"

With the tricycle's exhaust pipe puffing out black smoke, Li Xian was as calm as a sloth.

...

When they arrived at the forestry bureau's retirement home, Li Xian happened to see a long procession coming toward them.

Seeing the mourning banners, Li Xian slapped his thigh. "Damn it, we're a step too late!"

Indeed, one of his reasons for coming was to sell the coffin at a profit while the iron was still hot.

For such an important person, a thin coffin was inappropriate! Li Xian had been convinced that if he had arrived on time, he could have sold this coffin at a high price.

But now, it seemed impossible.

The people had already left. There was no way he could stop the funeral procession now and tell them, "I see you're not sleeping well, let me offer you a better bed," right?

If he did that, he would probably get beaten up.

Li Pi watched the funeral procession depart and felt a huge relief. "Second Brother, you can't sell it now. Let's just head back to avoid making Grandpa worry."

Li Xian parked the vehicle by the roadside, feeling immensely dejected. However, returning was not an option.

What kind of place was this?

It was a retirement home!

The people here were old cadres, rich and old, just the kind of place he liked!

"Plan B! GO!"

Determined, Li Xian instructed Li Pi to watch the tricycle and headed straight toward the retirement home's courtyard.

Perhaps because of the funeral today, there were many visitors. Unlike the other day when he needed a guide named Zhye to get in, the gatekeeper didn't pay any attention to Li Xian and let him in directly.

Just as he was thinking about the high-roller who had paid a hundred yuan the other day, Li Xian heard a familiar voice say "Hmm."

Looking up, he saw it was Zhye, the girl from the other day.

Wang Zhye, carrying a thermos, frowned upon seeing Li Xian approaching.

"You… you're the one who was selling walnut skins, right? What are you doing here again?"

Seeing the "little vendor" covered in dirt in front of her, she was very curious.

Recognizing her, Li Xian smiled, "Beautiful lady, do you work here?"

Wang Zhye didn't answer directly but asked in return, "What are you doing here?"

Not knowing her exact role, Li Xian didn't dare reveal his true purpose. "Oh, I'm here to promote something."

"What kind of thing?"

"Hmm… how to put it? It's something everyone can use, and you only use it once in a lifetime. By the way, are you in charge of security here?" Li Xian smiled; this girl was way too alert.

Clearly, Li Xian's cryptic description had piqued Wang Zhye's interest.

Something everyone can use once in a lifetime?

What could that be?

After thinking for a while, Wang Zhye couldn't figure out what such an important thing could be.

"Why are you being so cryptic? Just tell me directly what you're selling!"

Li Xian, having lost patience with this young girl's riddles, directly gave the answer: "A coffin."

Upon hearing this "answer," Wang Zhye was initially stunned, then her face turned angry. "Are you crazy? Why would you come to sell coffins when people are alive and well? Are you trying to bring bad luck? Get out of here!"

Wang Zhye's anger was understandable. The retirement home had just bid farewell to an old friend, which naturally created a somber atmosphere.

Whether it's because of the sadness of losing a friend or reflecting on one's own mortality, the atmosphere was very depressing. Wang Zhye had just managed to bring some smiles to the old people after a lot of effort. Now, someone coming to sell coffins would only add to the gloom.

Seeing the girl throw the thermos on the ground and come to shove him, Li Xian was not pleased. "Hey, why are you so unreasonable? Selling a coffin should be done when people are still alive. Am I going to sell it at the cemetery? First, it's not the right time, and second, I don't do ghost summoning. Besides, a coffin needs to be prepared in advance; no one knows when they will meet their end, right?"

This argument caught the attention of several elderly people in the activity room. Hearing Wang Zhye arguing with someone, the old men, forgetting their sadness, quickly came over.

Seeing that the commotion had attracted the elderly, Wang Zhye grew even more anxious. "Why do you speak so rudely? If you don't leave, I'll call the gatekeeper!"

Hearing this, Li Xian got scared.

It was hard enough to get in here; if he got kicked out, it would be even harder to get back in.

He quickly changed his tone and said, "Miss, think about it. From the moment we're born, we're on a path towards death. Birth, aging, illness, and death are natural processes.

In childhood, we learn to walk and talk; in youth, we strive to learn and grow; in middle age, we contribute to society and realize our value. In old age, while enjoying family, we should also consider facing the end of life openly. What's wrong with that?"

The elderly who had just arrived were moved by this unusual perspective. A few older ones even seemed to ponder deeply.