Chasing Time

“Next, we have the most noble recipient of the Order of the Garter, the Grand Cross of Saint Michael and Saint George, the Grand Cross of the Bath, the Victoria Cross and the lower grades of Knighthood, the leader of the anti-colonial movement, the bell-ringer of the East India Company, the hero of the Crimean War, a Fellow of the Royal Society, a lifelong dear friend of literary giants such as Dickens and Great Dumas, a steadfast supporter of scientific luminaries like Faraday and Darwin, having served as assistant under-secretary, deputy under-secretary, and permanent under-secretary in departments of the Home Office and the Navy Department of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, the inaugural Cabinet Secretary and head of the civil service, the first graduate and most distinguished alumnus of our school. Please welcome Sir Arthur Hastings to deliver a speech on the occasion of the fiftieth anniversary of the founding of the University of London.”
Arthur's gaze swept across the crowd before him, looking at the young faces and murmured, “Agares, what do you think I should say?”
The Red Devil's wraith hovered behind him, saliva almost dribbling from the corner of his mouth, “Look at these ignorant souls; they still worship you as a hero. Why not say something they'd like to hear?”
Arthur took a deep breath and let out a deafening roar, “Oxford is a bunch of whores' bastards!”
“Oh!!!!”
The audience erupted into thunderous applause.
“Cambridge is the same!” he added immediately.
The applause grew even more fervent...
(The protagonist, possessed by a devil, travels through 19th-century Britain in a world without magic)

The Shadow of Great Britain

"That's not it," Arthur replied, "I just thought you might have made a special trip to fish him out of the Thames River."


Fiona wagged a finger: "No, no, no, Mr. Hastings, you haven't paid me yet. Let him soak in the river for a bit longer. Besides, could you really bear to watch such a delicate and frail lady stand outside the door?"


Arthur looked around and then stepped aside to make way: "I'm not in the habit of refusing ladies, but I must make it clear beforehand, I do not provide opium tincture here."


Upon hearing this, Fiona merely gave him an unimpressed look and let out a light snort: "Kicked that habit."


"It makes me burp, not ladylike at all."


Arthur slammed the door shut with a bang: "You're here to pick a fight, aren't you?"


"Oh! Mr. Hastings, can't you be a bit more gentlemanly?"


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