23

Yu Mingjiao thought Wen Zhi was joking and let out a cold laugh.

"Are you crazy?"

Wen Zhi smiled bitterly, "Not exactly dead. She was in a car accident. They managed to save her life, but she ended up in a vegetative state. The doctors said she might never wake up."

"What's the difference between that and being dead?"

Yu Mingjiao's expression froze.

Wen Zhi remembered something and handed her the bag she was holding. "This is for you. Lin Qiu probably had the accident on her way to deliver this. Take it."

Yu Mingjiao's fingers trembled as she slowly accepted the bag.

Wen Zhi walked past her, opened the door, and went inside.

Yu Mingjiao returned to her apartment and took out the box from the bag.

It was a wooden box, stained with dried blood.

She opened it, revealing an old diary. The first page bore the name "Chen Ming."

It was her mother's diary.

She began to read.

[I hate this child. Because of her, my body deteriorated, leaving me with lasting ailments.]

[She's always crying, and I want to cry too. Why did I give birth to her?]

[Her cries are always in my ears. Why can't I escape them?]

[I can't design jewelry anymore. My mind isn't right.]

[She calls me "Mom." I want to strangle her.]

[She saw me crying and tried to wipe my tears with her little hands. She poked my eye. So clumsy.]

[I feel so sick. I want to die.]

[I'm bedridden now, and she just sits by my bed all day, smiling at me and calling me "Mom."]

[I really hate this child. Because of her, I haven't had a good night's sleep in ages. But when she smiles and calls me "Mom," why does she seem so cute?]

[I'm so tired. I want to end it.]

[Yu Mingjiao, I hate that you were born.]

[But Jiao Jiao, Mommy loves you.]

[I'm sorry for giving birth to you and then hating you. Jiao Jiao, I hope you can find happiness in your life. Goodbye.]

Tears began to stream uncontrollably down Yu Mingjiao's face as she read these words.

She had always believed that her mother hated her and blamed her for being born. Over the years, she had often broken down because of her mother's death, always feeling that she should never have been born.

If she hadn't been born, her mother would have lived a good life.

She must have despised her.

This is what Yu Mingjiao had always thought.

These thoughts had tormented her for twenty years, like a nightmare that never let go, constantly torturing her.

But now she finally saw what her mother truly wanted to say.

Her mother hated her, but she also loved her.

She wasn't entirely hated by her mother.

For a brief moment, she had been loved by her mother.

Inside the bag was also a small note. She picked it up.

[Happy birthday, Yu Mingjiao. Please live well. —Lin Qiu]

All the emotions inside her turned into a damp, chilling rain.

Did Cen Lingqiu have the accident because she was trying to bring this to her?

Stupid woman.

Why did you still do all this?

Even after I spoke to you so harshly, why didn't you stay away from me? Why didn't you hate me? Why did you still get me a birthday gift?

Why did you have to leave?

Yu Mingjiao clutched her hair in agony, her pale lips trembling violently as she covered her face with her hands. Her sobs were like the cries of a wounded animal—desperate and sorrowful.

Her heart felt like it was being crushed, suffocating her with pain.

An invisible force seemed to be choking her, making it almost impossible to breathe.

She knew she was grieving.

Grieving for someone who had hurt her. Logic told her that this woman deserved to die, but her body and emotions were forcing her to mourn.

She could feel the pain acutely.

But why was she feeling this way?

Since her mother's death, she hadn't experienced emotions like this.

[Yu Mingjiao, I won't lie to you anymore.]

In a daze, she suddenly remembered something Cen Lingqiu had once said.

She really hadn't lied to her again.

Yu Mingjiao's back hunched deeply, her tears falling steadily as the ink on the note blurred, merging into a black, wet stain.

Yu Mingjiao asked Wen Zhi to take her to see Cen Lingqiu.

She still couldn't believe it was true.

Wen Zhi brought her to an upscale nursing home.

She led Yu Mingjiao to a room in a quiet corner and opened the door. A man inside turned towards them at the sound.

"Mingjiao?" Lin Dong asked, surprised. "Why are you here?"

Yu Mingjiao didn't hear him. All her attention was focused on the woman in the hospital bed.

The woman was hooked up to countless tubes, wearing a respirator, surrounded by machines. She lay there as still as death, her breathing faint, her eyes tightly shut.

Her face was wrapped in thick bandages, making it almost impossible to see her features.

She was so silent that she seemed truly dead.

Lin Dong moved to approach her, but Wen Zhi grabbed his arm. "You should leave for now."

Lin Dong frowned.

"Hurry."

Wen Zhi and Lin Dong had grown up together, and she was like another sister to him. Not wanting to argue with her, he left the room.

Now, only Wen Zhi and Yu Mingjiao were left.

Yu Mingjiao stared at Cen Lingqiu, her dark eyes bottomless, empty.

She noticed Cen Lingqiu's scarred hand and reached out to touch it.

But as soon as she made contact, she recoiled as if she'd been pricked by a needle.

Cold.

"Lin Qiu's organs are almost all failing. The only thing keeping her alive is this machine," Wen Zhi said sadly. "The doctors say the chances of her waking up are very slim, but we all know she's already gone."

Yu Mingjiao hung her head, silent as death.

Wen Zhi looked down at her. "Seeing her lying there like a corpse, how do you feel?"

"She treated you so badly in the past. You must hate her. Now that she's dead, do you feel any sort of happiness?"

Wen Zhi's calm voice carried a hint of reproach. If Lin Qiu hadn't been so desperate to give Yu Mingjiao a gift, she wouldn't be lying there now.

If only she had still hated Yu Mingjiao, she wouldn't have done any of this.

Yu Mingjiao just stared at Cen Lingqiu, her gaze unblinking.

"...She's not dead."

After a long silence, she finally spoke, her voice hoarse.

Wen Zhi let out a bitter laugh. "To think those words would come from your mouth. Yu Mingjiao, are you sad?"

She didn't respond.

"But why would you be sad?"

Yu Mingjiao let out a cold laugh that sounded more like a sob.

"I'm not sad."

Wen Zhi regained some of her composure. "You're right. Lin Qiu wasn't exactly a good person. She had a nasty temper, and she did those things to you in the past. There's no reason for you to grieve for her. You didn't need to come see her."

"Maybe this is just the consequence of Lin Qiu's own actions."

"Mm."

Yu Mingjiao's pupils were dark and empty, as if she were trying to deceive herself.

"I won't come see her again."

"I hate her."

Yu Mingjiao never visited her again.

Just as Wen Zhi said, she had no reason to feel sad for Cen Lingqiu.

Yu Mingjiao continued living alone.

After passing the second round of interviews, she was able to intern at X.R., taking a step closer to the life she had always wanted.

She started her internship at X.R., undergoing training and learning.

On the outside, Yu Mingjiao seemed the same, as if the collapse she experienced upon hearing about Cen Lingqiu's accident had happened to someone else.

But she had lost more weight. She rarely felt hungry, and her chin had become sharp and pointed.

Yu Mingjiao still didn't like going out, and she preferred to stay in her room like before. But now, she kept the curtains open, letting the bright daylight fill the room, no longer the suffocating darkness of the past.

Some of her colleagues at X.R. noticed that she was beautiful but quiet, and they invited her to join them for a meal.

Yu Mingjiao agreed.

One of the female colleagues noticed that she only ate the shrimp in front of her and couldn't help but ask, "Mingjiao, do you really like seafood?"

Yu Mingjiao shook her head.

"No."

"Then why are you only eating this dish? You're not touching anything else. Is it not to your taste?"

Another colleague chimed in, "Yeah, why are you only eating from the plate in front of you?"

Yu Mingjiao was stunned for a moment.

Why, indeed.

When she was younger, if she took too much food from other dishes, her stepmother would become unhappy. And when her stepmother was unhappy, her father would beat her.

Later, she found that if she only ate one dish, her stepmother wouldn't get upset. So she started only eating the food closest to her, which spared her many beatings.

Then, maybe Cen Lingqiu noticed this habit and began placing food on her plate. Yu Mingjiao got used to Cen Lingqiu's actions.

Now that the woman was no longer by her side, she had unknowingly reverted to this old habit.

Perhaps, Cen Lingqiu would never be able to share a meal with her again.

"Mingjiao, why are you crying?"

Her colleagues, seeing her tears, asked in a panic.

Yu Mingjiao touched her face, finding it wet.

"Why… am I crying?"

She murmured to herself.

Why was she crying?

There was no reason.

She couldn't think of a reason.

She didn't know why she was crying.

She didn't know.

The power went out again today.

Yu Mingjiao huddled in the corner of her living room, using the candle Cen Lingqiu had given her the last time.

Outside, a violent storm raged, with lightning and thunder illuminating Yu Mingjiao's pale, fearful face.

She pressed her hands over her ears.

The voices in the dark returned.

The endless cycle of insults and accusations filled Yu Mingjiao with overwhelming irritation.

But amidst the noise, she seemed to hear Cen Lingqiu's voice.

"Yu Mingjiao, it's all because I wanted to give you a gift that I ended up like this."

"Mingjiao, I want to wake up. I want to live. It's because of you that I'm like this."

Yu Mingjiao shook her head frantically, trying to escape these sharp accusations, but they clung to her like leeches.

Unable to bear it, she let out a scream, toppling from her wheelchair.

Yu Mingjiao was terrified, her body trembling uncontrollably.

She crawled forward, desperate to hide in the closet in her room.

A bolt of lightning split the night sky.

Yu Mingjiao's eyes widened as she accidentally bumped her head against the coffee table, the impact knocking several drawing pens to the floor.

But she didn't feel the pain. She was too lost in her fear.

Her hands reached out, trying to grab something, anything, but all she found was a pen.

A black drawing pen.

In the dim light, Yu Mingjiao stared at the pen.

For a moment, the piercing voices in her ears faded.

She struggled to prop herself up into a sitting position.

Her posture was stiff, and her hands still trembled with fear. Almost instinctively, she drew a smiley face on her palm, the simple ":)" that Cen Lingqiu had taught her.

"If you're feeling uneasy or scared, just draw a smiley face in your hand."

Cen Lingqiu's gentle voice echoed in her ears like it was real.

Yu Mingjiao seemed to lose her mind, drawing dozens of smiley faces on her hands.

Black smiley faces covered her thin, pale wrists like a rainstorm, forming a deluge of emotions.

But the smiley faces brought her no comfort, so she started drawing them on paper, filling page after page with twisted smiles.

Outside, the storm raged on, while inside, a disabled girl was lost in her inexplicable madness, drawing smiley faces endlessly.

Yu Mingjiao drew so frantically that the pen tip snapped with a crack.

She paused for a second before violently sweeping all the papers off the table.

Breathing heavily, she was filled with a burning frustration, a rage she wanted to tear apart and destroy.

She lowered her head, struggling to catch her breath.

Through blurred vision, she glimpsed a flash of red beneath the coffee table, revealed by the weak candlelight.

Yu Mingjiao pushed aside the scattered papers and crawled under the table, pulling out the red object.

It was a red bracelet.

She remembered it was the bracelet Cen Lingqiu had wanted to give her, the one she had angrily thrown away.

She had been trying so hard to suppress everything related to Cen Lingqiu during this time.

She hadn't visited Cen Lingqiu, hadn't thought about her, convincing herself that she didn't need to pay attention to that woman. All of Cen Lingqiu's misfortune was her own fault.

She thought she had succeeded, but now she realized she had never forgotten about Cen Lingqiu.

Her withered, thin wrist, the open curtains, her inability to eat properly, the black smiley faces drawn in the dark—these were all mocking her.

She was living her life in the shadow of Cen Lingqiu's memory.

No one in this world would ever be like Cen Lingqiu again.

She hated being alone.

Hated the darkness.

Hated not having someone by her side.

Lin Qiu.

Lin Qiu.

Lin Qiu.

She truly had nothing left.

Why do they always leave her behind?

She didn't want to be abandoned.

Yu Mingjiao bit her lip hard, drawing blood as her eyes turned red. She stared into the void, her head pounding as if it would explode, the pain like fireworks going off inside her skull.

She clutched her head, unable to bear it, and began banging it against the floor.

Again and again.

Finally, when blood started to flow from her forehead, the pain in her head began to ease.

Her eyes were dull and vacant as blood trickled down her cheek. She clutched the red string tightly in her hand.

Lin Qiu.

She called out silently in her heart.

I want to talk to you.

I still have things I want to say.

When Cen Lingqiu woke up again, she found herself lying in the transfer pod.

It took her a while to realize she was back in the mission center.

A small robot approached her, its mechanical voice chiming, "Qiu Qiu, your mission is complete."

Cen Lingqiu sat up, confused. "So, I just died?"

System Seven said, "Yes, although it was an unexpected event, it didn't affect the mission progress. Now, just rest well. The system center will verify the outcome, and once it's approved, you can go home."

Seven, who had been with her for a long time, couldn't help but feel happy for her. "Qiu Qiu, aren't you excited? You can finally go home."

Cen Lingqiu gave a half-hearted smile.

Her death had been too sudden, and it hurt too much.

In her previous missions, even if she died, it was quick, with little pain.

But this time, it had been excruciating.

Cen Lingqiu could still remember the feeling of being crushed, the all-consuming pain.

Beyond the pain, there was also a sense of emptiness.

She had promised to celebrate Yu Mingjiao's birthday with her, and the gift hadn't even been delivered.

She hadn't even said goodbye.

Oh well.

The diary should have reached Yu Mingjiao by now.

The original owner wasn't important to Yu Mingjiao, so even if she died, it shouldn't cause her too much grief.

This had been her first time doing a mission focused on redemption, and it hadn't been very successful.

She had stumbled through it, completing the task by the barest margin, but it didn't bring the same sense of relief as previous missions.

Cen Lingqiu had to wait for the main system to verify the results, so she spent her time resting.

Her days off were boring, filled with reading and the occasional meal.

Her life was dull and uneventful.

She had grown accustomed to this stagnant existence, avoiding interactions with others in the transfer bureau, preferring her own company.

But sometimes, when she ate, she felt a strange loneliness.

Today, she decided to go out and check on the mission results at the system center.

As she walked into the system hall, she spotted a woman facing away from her in the distance.

The woman had long, straight black hair and a tall, slender figure, so much like Yu Mingjiao.

Then the woman turned around, revealing an unfamiliar face.

Cen Lingqiu thought she must have been imagining things. How could Yu Mingjiao be here?

She shook her head and went to the mission center to inquire.

The system told her that there had been a problem in her mission world, and the results hadn't been successfully verified yet. It would take some more time.

Cen Lingqiu didn't mind. The system's verification process could take a while—sometimes a few days, sometimes even a year.

She had heard of a colleague who had waited a whole year for the system to verify their mission. It turned out that the target of their mission, who was supposed to have died, had hung on for an entire year, waiting for them, before finally giving up and passing away.

Unexpected events like that were not uncommon in missions.

Cen Lingqiu didn't think much of it and continued waiting.

She had no idea how long she waited, but one day, when summer had turned to winter, her system suddenly told her, in a panic.

[Qiu Qiu, your mission has failed!]

The system explained that over the past few months, the monitoring center had detected that Yu Mingjiao's self-destructive tendencies had been steadily increasing, never decreasing. Recently, it had even reached 70%.

Just yesterday, the system predicted that Yu Mingjiao's life force might drop dramatically in the coming days, meaning she could be near death.

[Since this wasn´t your mistake, the center has decided to give you another chance to save her, Qiu Qiu. You can't fail again.]

Cen Lingqiu was confused.

Why had Yu Mingjiao's self-destructive tendencies increased again?

They had been stable before she left.

Was someone else bullying her in that world?

And why was her life force diminishing?

Hadn't Yu Mingjiao been living well?

Today was the X.R. banquet. Since joining X.R., Yu Mingjiao had gained some recognition in the jewelry world for her unique and spirited designs, as well as her distinctive and meaningful styles.

Many in the media knew of the new young designer at X.R., although she was wheelchair-bound, her beauty and talent were undeniable. However, she was very mysterious, rarely appearing in public.

Part of the reason for this banquet was to give people a chance to meet this new designer.

The banquet was held at a private villa. As usual, Yu Mingjiao didn't like crowded places, so while everyone else was drinking and chatting in the living room, she slipped out to the back garden alone.

It was already the height of summer.

Six months had passed since the woman's car accident, and Yu Mingjiao hadn't visited her once.

She wasn't sure how she had gotten through these past six months. Her life revolved around work and study, with no other pleasures.

She had lost more weight, her skin as pale as death, while her hair had grown longer and longer.

Her eyes were even darker than before.

Yu Mingjiao was indeed living, but she was only alive. Aside from her work, she felt no joy.

Her mind was numb and indifferent.

But sometimes, when she allowed herself to think, it seemed that all the joy in the world had bypassed her. The people around her had all left her behind, leaving only empty white flowers in her wake.

The inescapable loneliness was the only reminder that she was still alive.

A drunk man staggered into the garden, catching sight of Yu Mingjiao's delicate profile. He gave a lewd smile and stumbled over to her.

"Hey there, why are you all alone?" he said, reaching out to touch her face.

Yu Mingjiao slapped his hand away, her voice cold. "Don't touch me."

The man chuckled stupidly, "What's the harm in a little touch? Let's be friends. I'm with Xinle Investments..."

The man's alcohol breath made Yu Mingjiao want to vomit. She began to wheel herself away, but the man wasn't having it. "Hey, don't be like that."

He reached for her, but he was so drunk that he tripped over the cobblestones and fell forward, knocking over Yu Mingjiao's wheelchair.

The edge of the artificial lake loomed ahead, and as Yu Mingjiao's chair tipped, she plunged into the water.

Her legs were paralyzed; she couldn't swim.

Water filled her nose and mouth, the sensation of drowning overwhelming her. She thrashed desperately, but her body kept sinking.

No one would come to save her.

She would die here, wouldn't she?

Dying didn't seem so bad.

No one was waiting for her anyway.

She had been responsible for so many deaths.

Her eyes stung from the water, her breath growing fainter. In the haze, she saw a familiar figure swimming towards her.

She thought she was hallucinating.

How could she imagine Cen Lingqiu coming to save her?

Yu Mingjiao's eyes slowly closed.

"Cough, cough, cough—"

When Yu Mingjiao regained consciousness, she immediately started coughing violently, her throat burning.

A pair of hands gently patted her back.

Soaked and shivering, Yu Mingjiao blinked at the person beside her.

"Are you alright?"

The woman's misty eyes gazed at her with concern, her voice slightly rushed.

"Where else does it hurt?"

Yu Mingjiao struggled to breathe, staring unblinkingly at the speaker.

Cen Lingqiu, getting no response, thought she was still in shock. She took her hand, preparing to help her back inside.

But suddenly, Yu Mingjiao tugged on her wrist, pulling Cen Lingqiu down.

Then, Yu Mingjiao wrapped her arms tightly around Cen Lingqiu's neck.

Cen Lingqiu: "???"