Cen Lingqiu casually suggested, "Why not live for yourself?"
Yu Mingjiao lowered her eyes and didn't respond.
They didn't continue the conversation. After exploring most of the school, the sky suddenly darkened, signaling rain. Cen Lingqiu decided to take Yu Mingjiao home. Before heading back, they stopped by a supermarket to pick up ingredients—Cen Lingqiu planned to cook dinner to celebrate Yu Mingjiao's graduation.
While cooking, Yu Mingjiao stayed by her side, helping out. Cen Lingqiu initially wanted her to relax in the living room and wait, but Yu Mingjiao insisted on staying in the kitchen with her.
Cen Lingqiu couldn't help but feel that Yu Mingjiao had become more attached to her, but she didn't think much of it and let her assist with the vegetables.
Outside, the rain began to pour down, the water pattering against the windows, creating a dark, cold atmosphere. However, the kitchen was warm and bright.
Cen Lingqiu glanced out at the heavy rain, then looked back at Yu Mingjiao, who was quietly prepping vegetables beside her. A strange sense of warmth washed over her, something that felt akin to a home.
She chuckled inwardly.
Was she getting old?
Otherwise, why would she start imagining Yu Mingjiao as part of her family?
She never really cared about the concept of "home." Abandoned by her parents when she was young and left to struggle alone at her grandmother's house, she never considered that place a home. Now that she was older, she never thought about having a family either.
Maybe she really was getting older, causing these odd thoughts to arise.
After they finished cooking, Cen Lingqiu sat down to eat with Yu Mingjiao. She didn't usually like eating at the table with others, but this quirk seemed to vanish only when she was with Yu Mingjiao.
It was strange—when she was with Yu Mingjiao, the hidden shadows in her mind seemed to dissipate.
Yu Mingjiao, on the other hand, was the same as always, eating only the dishes in front of her. So Cen Lingqiu took it upon herself to serve her.
After half a year apart, they were once again eating together.
Cen Lingqiu would chat with her, and Yu Mingjiao had learned to respond to the conversation, though her replies were short. But Cen Lingqiu no longer felt like she was talking to herself.
Outside, the storm raged, but inside, they sat under the warm glow of the lights, casually chatting.
Cen Lingqiu: "Is this dish too spicy?"
Yu Mingjiao: "No."
"My mom's cat is a biter; it scratched my hand several times."
"Trim its claws."
"My mom would be upset."
"Do it secretly."
"I'm thinking of cutting my hair."
"Go ahead."
"But I'm afraid it'll look bad."
"It won't."
Cen Lingqiu couldn't help but laugh softly. Yu Mingjiao's replies were always short and cold, yet Cen Lingqiu found a unique charm in those few simple words.
She laughed so hard that she started coughing, turning her head away to cover it up.
Yu Mingjiao looked up at her, her eyes unmoving.
After coughing for a while, Cen Lingqiu finally caught her breath. She noticed Yu Mingjiao's dark gaze fixed on her and offered an explanation. "I just choked."
"Hmm." Yu Mingjiao lowered her head as if she didn't care, but she subtly pushed her glass of water towards Cen Lingqiu, silently suggesting she take a sip.
Cen Lingqiu noticed the small gesture and smiled slightly, not refusing the offer. She took the glass and had a sip.
After dinner, Cen Lingqiu pulled out some medicine from her bag. The doctor had prescribed her a bitter-tasting powder. She downed it in one go, her face scrunching up at the taste.
She reached for something sweet, and a pale, slender hand appeared before her, holding a piece of candy.
Cen Lingqiu looked at Yu Mingjiao, who offered the candy with a calm expression, quietly waiting for her to take it.
"For me?" Cen Lingqiu asked, though she already knew the answer.
Yu Mingjiao nodded.
"Thank you."
Cen Lingqiu took the candy. It was the type she often ate, very sweet. She asked casually, "Since when did you start liking this candy? I thought you preferred sour things."
Yu Mingjiao's lips moved, her voice so soft that Cen Lingqiu had to strain to hear her.
"Because you like it."
Cen Lingqiu paused, caught off guard by the words coming from Yu Mingjiao's mouth.
She laughed, her smile tinged with a hint of confusion. "So you've been keeping this candy on hand because I like it? Is that it, Mingjiao?"
Yu Mingjiao glanced at her briefly, then looked away, staring at nothing in particular.
"I started keeping it when you were in the hospital."
Her tone was so calm, as if she were stating something completely ordinary.
She had been keeping Cen Lingqiu's favorite candy, as if hoping for the day when she could give it to her in person.
Cen Lingqiu held the candy, staring at Yu Mingjiao for a long time, feeling something fluttering in her chest like a butterfly.
She understood the meaning behind Yu Mingjiao's words.
That was why she was momentarily stunned.
She had always thought that Yu Mingjiao kept her at a wary distance, that no matter what she did, Yu Mingjiao's icy heart wouldn't thaw.
But now it seemed she was wrong. After half a year apart, many of Yu Mingjiao's actions clearly indicated she was slowly getting closer to her.
She wasn't distant anymore; she was starting to soften toward her.
The little kitten she had once raised was now showing her its soft belly.
So beautiful and so obedient.
In that moment, Cen Lingqiu forgot that Yu Mingjiao was her mission target. To her, they were just two normal friends.
No rifts, no hurt, nothing.
This long-forgotten feeling of genuinely connecting with someone was something Cen Lingqiu hadn't experienced in a long time. She had no friends, no lovers, no family—only with Yu Mingjiao did that familiar numbness and loneliness get buried beneath the surface.
Cen Lingqiu felt a rare joy from being cared about.
It was a feeling she seldom experienced.
"Sigh…"
Cen Lingqiu turned her head, smiling as she reached out to pat Yu Mingjiao's hair. Yu Mingjiao didn't pull away, letting her do as she pleased.
Like a little puppy.
"Thank you, Mingjiao," Cen Lingqiu said softly.
"For what?"
Cen Lingqiu couldn't quite put into words the reasons for her gratitude. There were many emotions in this world that were complex and couldn't be easily described. Cen Lingqiu simply wanted to thank her.
For many, many things.
She didn't say anything more, just gently stroked Yu Mingjiao's long hair.
Outside, the rain was getting heavier, with no sign of stopping. Cen Lingqiu had planned to wait until it lightened up before leaving, but after waiting for a while, it didn't seem like the rain was going to let up.
It was getting late, so she decided to drive home in the rain. She informed Yu Mingjiao and picked up her car keys, ready to leave.
Suddenly, Yu Mingjiao grabbed her wrist, her voice trembling slightly.
"Don't."
"What's wrong?"
Cen Lingqiu noticed her pale face and bent down to look at her more closely. "Are you feeling unwell?"
Yu Mingjiao's pale lips moved, her thin eyelids trembling lightly. "Driving in the rain… there could be an accident."
Cen Lingqiu was silent for a moment. "You're afraid I'll get into an accident if I drive now?"
"Mingjiao, are you afraid I'll have another accident?"
Yu Mingjiao remained silent.
Cen Lingqiu tried to reassure her. "It won't happen. I'll drive slowly, Mingjiao. I have to go back; it's getting late."
"You could…" Yu Mingjiao seemed to struggle with her words, keeping her head down, suppressing her emotions for a long time before finally speaking.
"…You could stay at my place."
Cen Lingqiu was once again taken aback by her words.
"Mingjiao, do you know what you're saying?" Cen Lingqiu teased, not taking it seriously. "Aren't you afraid I'll do something bad? You used to say I was a bad woman."
"Besides, I'm still sick. Aren't you afraid I'll infect you?"
Yu Mingjiao looked up, meeting her gaze. "I trust you."
"And I don't mind if I get sick. Even if I do… it doesn't matter."
Her expression was calm, yet there was a stubbornness in her eyes.
Cen Lingqiu couldn't help but recall their last encounter six months ago, when she had asked Yu Mingjiao, "Don't you trust me?"
Yu Mingjiao's answer had been a resounding no.
It was an unpleasant conversation, one that marked their separation.
But now, it seemed that Yu Mingjiao was trying, in subtle ways, to reaffirm her trust in her—almost as if she was silently admitting she was wrong, like a stubborn child who had realized their mistake.
Cen Lingqiu covered her face, laughing softly.
She had been laughing more and more lately.
She laughed, her chest gently rising and falling, her fox-like eyes narrowing into crescent moons.
Yu Mingjiao, perhaps not understanding her laughter, tilted her head, looking at her in confusion.
Once she'd had her fill of laughter, Cen Lingqiu brushed aside the loose strands of hair and said, "Well, since you insist, I guess I'll have to trouble you tonight, Mingjiao."
Yu Mingjiao's room was spacious, with many pieces of jewelry displayed in the cabinets and piles of design drafts on the table. As Cen Lingqiu casually took in her surroundings, Yu Mingjiao had already changed into her pajamas.
She wore a light, white nightdress, revealing a large expanse of pale skin at her chest, with delicate, protruding collarbones. Her long, black hair fell over her chest, the contrast between black and white making her look like that bouquet of white lisianthus—elegant and beautiful.
But she was too thin.
Cen Lingqiu walked over and couldn't resist touching her collarbone, murmuring, "Being this thin isn't good."
Her fingers were cold as they lightly brushed against Yu Mingjiao's skin, causing her to shiver. Yu Mingjiao felt as if countless insects were crawling along her neck, a highly sensitive area that reacted intensely to the slightest touch.
Sensing something was off, Cen Lingqiu looked at her and saw Yu Mingjiao biting her lip, her brows slightly furrowed, with her eyes red and watery, like wilted flower petals after a rain, her pale cheeks tinged with a faint, suppressed blush.
Her shoulders were trembling slightly, her whole demeanor fragile and full of unspoken desire.
"Mingjiao…"
Yu Mingjiao looked up, her beautiful almond eyes rimmed with red, her gaze watery and dazed, her lips a deep crimson, her skin pale. Strands of black hair clung to her cheeks, and with her cold exterior softened, she looked heartbreakingly seductive.
Cen Lingqiu's heart skipped a beat, and she pulled her hand back as if scalded. "…I'll go change my clothes."
She took the pajamas Yu Mingjiao had prepared and went into the bathroom.
Leaning against the door, she tried to calm her racing heart.
She's stunning.
She had always known Yu Mingjiao was beautiful, but sometimes, her beauty was almost overwhelming.
She glanced at herself in the mirror.
The original owner of this body resembled her in some ways, but she had single eyelids and thin lips, with features that were more sharp and stern, giving her a perpetually sullen expression.
She wasn't as delicate as the original owner.
In nearly thirty years of life, this was the first time Cen Lingqiu had compared her looks to someone else's.
It wasn't her fault—Yu Mingjiao was simply too beautiful.
After showering and changing clothes, Cen Lingqiu found Yu Mingjiao sitting on the bed, sketching something. Her face had returned to its usual gloominess, as if that earlier vulnerable moment had been nothing but an illusion.
Cen Lingqiu stood at the bedside, unsure of what to do next.
This was her first time sharing a bed with someone, and it felt strange.
Yu Mingjiao seemed completely unfazed.
Were they really going to sleep in the same bed for the first time, with Yu Mingjiao not feeling anything?
Cen Lingqiu admired her composure. She chuckled at her own nerves, quickly shaking off her unease, and climbed into the other side of the bed. As she did, she glanced at Yu Mingjiao's sketch.
She was doodling aimlessly, her eyes not even focusing on the paper.
Cen Lingqiu pointed out, "Your drawing's off, Mingjiao."
Yu Mingjiao's movements froze. "…I did that on purpose."
Cen Lingqiu stifled a laugh, realizing she was pretending.
It seemed she was nervous too.
Suddenly, Cen Lingqiu's nerves vanished, and she relaxed completely. She lay down and said, "Enough drawing, let's sleep."
The lights were turned off, leaving only a small nightlight.
The room fell into silence, with only the sound of rain outside.
Yu Mingjiao lay with her back to Cen Lingqiu. Cen Lingqiu stared at the ceiling, both of them awkwardly silent.
Perhaps it was because of the unfamiliar bed or the presence of someone else beside her, but Cen Lingqiu couldn't fall asleep at all.
She turned over, facing Yu Mingjiao, accidentally lying on her hair.
"Mm…"
Yu Mingjiao couldn't help but let out a low whimper, softly saying, "You're on my hair."
"Sorry." Cen Lingqiu quickly shifted.
Yu Mingjiao's hair was long and thick, spreading out like seaweed over the bed.
Cen Lingqiu had always liked her hair. Unable to sleep, she started playing with it, asking, "Your hair is so long—don't you ever think of cutting it?"
Yu Mingjiao suddenly turned over, facing her directly.
"Do you like my hair?"
Cen Lingqiu: "Yes, it's beautiful."
Yu Mingjiao ran her fingers through her hair. "Do you want me to cut it?"
Cen Lingqiu thought for a moment. "You look great with long hair."
"Do I?" Yu Mingjiao murmured.
Cen Lingqiu's gaze swept over her face, landing on the red string around her wrist. She asked, "I forgot to ask—do you like the birthday gift I gave you?"
Yu Mingjiao didn't hesitate. "I do."
Cen Lingqiu smiled. "That's good. Turning twenty is important, so it's important to get a gift you like."
"And what about you?"
"What?"
Yu Mingjiao liked the sound of Cen Lingqiu's calm voice; it made her feel strangely at ease in the darkness. She continued the casual conversation: "What did you get for your twentieth birthday?"
It was a simple question, but it left Cen Lingqiu momentarily speechless.
Her twentieth birthday gift…
How could she tell Yu Mingjiao that she never lived to see her twentieth birthday? She hadn't even made it to eighteen—she had died the day before she turned eighteen.
Her short and bleak childhood was devoid of any gifts. Neither her grandparents nor her parents ever remembered her birthday; she had never received a gift.
She used to wish she could get a birthday gift like her cousin. Once, she called her mom, reminding her that the next day was her tenth birthday.
Her mom was probably at the amusement park with her brother at the time; it was noisy, and she didn't really hear what Cen Lingqiu was saying. Annoyed, she scolded her.
"I'm really busy right now. If it's not important, don't call me. Be a good girl and stop bothering me, you annoying thing!"
Then she hung up.
Cen Lingqiu wasn't ready to give up yet, so she called her dad.
He also scolded her. "What birthday gift! Kids don't need that kind of thing!"
Cen Lingqiu weakly replied, "But brother gets gifts."
Her dad sneered, "And you think you can compare to him? You're his older sister, and you want to compete with him? What a foolish girl! Always asking for things—useless, just like your grandmother said!"
With that, her dad hung up.
Cen Lingqiu sat there, holding the phone, stunned for a long time. Her grandmother saw her daydreaming instead of working, grabbed her by the ear, and dragged her to the river, making her wash all the clothes.
She never asked anyone for a birthday gift again.
Let alone a twentieth birthday gift.
Yu Mingjiao noticed the long silence and sensed a faint sadness from her. She began to panic. "What's wrong?"
Cen Lingqiu forced a smile. "Nothing, I just forgot what I got for my birthday that year."
Yu Mingjiao, holding the red string around her wrist, thought for a while before asking, "When's your birthday?"
She wanted to give Cen Lingqiu a gift.
But Cen Lingqiu replied, "I forgot."
Yu Mingjiao frowned.
Cen Lingqiu saw that she was about to ask more questions and quickly said, "Alright, time to sleep."
Yu Mingjiao could tell she was brushing her off, but she couldn't understand why Cen Lingqiu didn't want to tell her her birthday.
The way Cen Lingqiu was distancing herself upset Yu Mingjiao. Her expression darkened, her face shadowed in the dim light.
Her nails dug into her palm, but the pain didn't stop her.
Cen Lingqiu noticed her silence and sensed her mood dropping. She moved closer to Yu Mingjiao, trying to see her face. "What's wrong now?"
She had moved too close, and Yu Mingjiao could smell the scent of her body wash, feel her warm, soft body. They had never been this close before.
Yu Mingjiao could even feel Cen Lingqiu's leg brushing against hers. The slight skin contact made her pale earlobes flush red, and she instantly forgot her earlier frustration.
She tried to move back, to put some distance between them, but Cen Lingqiu caught her, wrapping an arm around her back.
"Hey, you're going to fall off."
She pulled her back onto the bed. "Don't sleep so close to the edge; you might fall."
Yu Mingjiao found herself even closer to Cen Lingqiu, and her eyes caught something—several scars near Cen Lingqiu's chest, revealed by her shifting clothes.
Yu Mingjiao lightly touched them. "Are these… from the accident?"
The sensation of being touched felt odd, and Cen Lingqiu gently moved her hand away, dismissing it. "Maybe. It doesn't matter."
Yu Mingjiao hadn't noticed how close they were getting. From a distance, it looked as if she was nestled in Cen Lingqiu's arms.
She froze, her thoughts drifting back to a distant place, and she fell silent, a gray sadness enveloping her.
Yu Mingjiao felt a deep heaviness in her heart, like a stone pressing against her ribs. Whenever she thought about Cen Lingqiu lying in that hospital bed half a year ago, the weight of that stone made her bones ache.
She realized that she could no longer associate the woman in front of her with the one from the past. Since the day Cen Lingqiu had stopped her from taking her own life at the manor, Yu Mingjiao had come to see her as someone entirely new.
She had forgotten about this woman's past.
She might truly be a soft-hearted fool, the kind who forgets past pain. Rationality told her she should never forget the past.
But her emotions and actions were contradictory. Even if it meant repeating the same mistakes, even if it meant being deceived again, she could no longer bear the thought of this woman leaving her life once more.
During the six months Cen Lingqiu had been in the hospital, Yu Mingjiao realized she hadn't found any happiness. On the contrary, she had felt an even deeper loneliness and exhaustion.
Only since her awakening had Yu Mingjiao felt alive again.
It was a bitter truth.
She was suffering because of a woman who had once hurt her.
But Yu Mingjiao didn't care anymore. She had always been willful, never letting anyone or anything dictate her thoughts or actions.
She only wanted what she desired.
Yu Mingjiao suddenly broke the silence.
"Lin Qiu."
Cen Lingqiu, half-asleep, mumbled in response.
"Move in with me."
Cen Lingqiu was instantly wide awake.
Startled.