31

Wen Zhi helped the drunken Cen Lingqiu to bed. Seeing that she was no longer needed and that Yu Mingjiao, who felt like an ice block, was still in the room, Wen Zhi couldn't bear to stay and quickly left.

After Wen Zhi left, only Cen Lingqiu and Yu Mingjiao remained in the bedroom.

Yu Mingjiao stared directly at Cen Lingqiu. With the alcohol, Cen Lingqiu's usually pale face was tinged with a blush. Her lips were bright red, her cheeks were covered in messy strands of hair, and her eyes were slightly narrowed. She no longer had her usual cold demeanor and seemed lost in a haze of desire.

The contrast was so stark that Yu Mingjiao suddenly felt an inexplicable thirst.

She wanted to go out for some ice water, but as she turned to leave, Cen Lingqiu grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto the bed.

Yu Mingjiao's chin hit Cen Lingqiu's collarbone hard, and the sudden skin-to-skin contact left her momentarily stunned. Then, Cen Lingqiu cupped her face, smiling with half-closed eyes, clearly drunk.

"Jiaojiao."

Her voice was lazier than usual, and she tilted her head, looking at Yu Mingjiao's face with a loose, scattered smile. "Do you still feel like living is painful?"

Yu Mingjiao, with her face held gently, looked slightly dazed and confused, her eyes wide and innocent.

Seeing her rare, somewhat silly expression, Cen Lingqiu couldn't help but laugh softly. She pulled Yu Mingjiao into her arms, gently stroking her back.

"It's so nice," she murmured, as if she were either expressing admiration or envy.

Yu Mingjiao, now tightly held, didn't resist and spoke in a muffled voice, "What's nice?"

Cen Lingqiu's reasoning had been clouded by alcohol; the usual restraint and coldness were gone, leaving her to speak freely without thinking.

"What's nice?" She thought for a moment, then lazily replied, "It's nice that you could grow up safely. Isn't that a good thing?"

The statement was so nonsensical that Yu Mingjiao didn't understand and asked, "What do you mean?"

Cen Lingqiu played with Yu Mingjiao's long hair, speaking languidly, "Jiaojiao, can't you tell? I envy you."

Yu Mingjiao was even more confused. "Is that something to be envious of? You're just like me."

Cen Lingqiu suddenly fell silent.

The room was filled with a heavy silence.

Yu Mingjiao, feeling Cen Lingqiu's cool skin, grew increasingly tense with the strange silence. She clutched Cen Lingqiu's clothes tightly.

Cen Lingqiu finally responded, instinctively patting Yu Mingjiao's back as if sighing, "Jiaojiao, I'm not like you."

"How so?"

Perhaps when a person is drunk, the long-suppressed pain finally has a chance to breathe, tearing open the sealed heart and exposing it to another.

"I've never received a gift," Cen Lingqiu said, half-closing her eyes. She was so drunk that she could barely keep them open. "Not when I was ten, not when I was twenty. I've never received one."

Yu Mingjiao was baffled. "But so many people like you, how could you not?"

Cen Lingqiu simply smiled.

Yu Mingjiao felt a sudden sense of unease and leaned closer, narrowing her eyes. "Why are you smiling? Answer me."

Her breathing was soft, and she looked as if she had fallen asleep, but Yu Mingjiao wanted to wake her. She was a stubborn person, and Cen Lingqiu's casual remarks often led her to overthink.

"Lin Qiu." Yu Mingjiao called her name. "Answer my question first."

Cen Lingqiu, swaying under Yu Mingjiao's pull, had no choice but to embrace her tightly, mumbling, "Don't shake me, I feel like I'm going to throw up…"

"Answer my question," Yu Mingjiao persisted.

Cen Lingqiu's drunken mind was filled with Yu Mingjiao's voice. She instinctively indulged her, speaking slowly.

"Because… I never had the chance to live a twenty-year-old life, Jiaojiao."

She had died at eighteen. There was no twenty. She had often imagined living a normal life, enjoying college, going on trips, and facing an uncertain future.

To her, after she died and joined the Transmigration Bureau, she wasn't really alive. In a sense, she was already dead.

So, she couldn't help but envy those who could live to adulthood.

Cen Lingqiu's words were a simple, sorrowful confession of her inner pain. Yu Mingjiao, however, seemed to sense a deep, piercing sadness.

Her body stiffened as Cen Lingqiu's words echoed in her mind. She couldn't understand. She had heard every word clearly, but she couldn't grasp their meaning.

"What do you mean?!" Yu Mingjiao's voice grew hoarse. "Lin Qiu, I don't understand."

What did she mean by never having a twenty-year-old life?

Wasn't she alive and well right now?

Why was she saying such nonsensical things?

For some reason, Yu Mingjiao's body started to tremble. Cen Lingqiu felt the shaking in her arms and, still dazed, lifted Yu Mingjiao's face, her expression showing familiar resignation.

"What's wrong now?" Cen Lingqiu asked, gently stroking her head. "Why do you look so uneasy? What are you afraid of?"

Yu Mingjiao lowered her eyes, looking pitiful. "I don't know."

"Hold me."

"Alright, alright." Cen Lingqiu comforted her like a child, holding her close. "What will you do if you keep seeking affection?"

Yu Mingjiao hugged her tightly, feeling the rhythm of her heartbeat.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

It was like the beautiful, calming sound of a cello, soothing all her anxieties.

Cen Lingqiu had completely passed out by now. Yu Mingjiao lifted her head from her embrace and slowly moved closer to her face, stopping just a breath away.

In her vision, Cen Lingqiu slept peacefully, and her usually sharp features were softened by the alcohol.

The wild beast in her heart started to stir again, urging her to get closer to Cen Lingqiu, as close as possible.

Yu Mingjiao stared at her face, not blinking.

At some point, she had started to separate the current Cen Lingqiu from the person she had been in the past. She had begun to think of this cold and gentle woman as someone new, not the cruel Lin Qiu.

Sometimes, she even absurdly imagined that this woman wasn't Lin Qiu at all.

And today, that idea seemed more plausible than ever.

Reflecting on this, Yu Mingjiao realized just how deeply she was losing her mind.

Cen Lingqiu had been sleeping on her side but suddenly turned her head to face Yu Mingjiao. Because they were so close, her lips lightly brushed against Yu Mingjiao's, a touch so light it was almost imperceptible.

But Yu Mingjiao felt as if she had been pricked by a needle. Her eyes widened slightly, and her expression froze as if her mind had short-circuited.

That feather-light touch seemed to have substance as it landed on her lips. Even now, she could still feel the softness of Cen Lingqiu's lips.

Yu Mingjiao's heart was racing.

She licked her dry lips.

The cicadas had stopped chirping outside; it was late summer now, and everything was quiet.

In the stillness of the night, Yu Mingjiao nestled into Cen Lingqiu's arms, trying to calm her pounding heart.

Her dark eyes filled with a tide of emotion, turbulent and deep, like a snake in the night, harboring endless dark desires.

—

Cen Lingqiu woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache.

She managed to open her eyes, and the first thing she saw was Yu Mingjiao's beautiful face. Seeing such a lovely sight first thing in the morning, Cen Lingqiu couldn't help but admire her for a while.

It took her a moment to realize that she and Yu Mingjiao were in the same bed. She couldn't remember much of what had happened the night before, only that she had lost consciousness after drinking that glass of wine.

As for how she ended up sharing a bed with Yu Mingjiao, she had no recollection at all.

This was the second time she had slept in the same bed as Yu Mingjiao.

Still feeling the effects of the alcohol, Cen Lingqiu carefully got up, intending to make herself a cup of honey water.

Even though she moved lightly, Yu Mingjiao woke up, groaning in annoyance, "You're on my hair."

Cen Lingqiu glanced down and saw that her right hand was indeed on Yu Mingjiao's hair. She quickly withdrew it. "Sorry, did it hurt?"

Yu Mingjiao shook her head, though her expression remained a bit sour, likely from being woken up.

Cen Lingqiu knew that Yu Mingjiao was grumpy in the morning and instinctively patted her head. "Are you pouting again, Jiaojiao?"

Yu Mingjiao, like a puppy having its fur smoothed, calmed down.

"Why did we end up in the same bed?" Cen Lingqiu asked.

Yu Mingjiao answered honestly, "You pulled me into bed."

That sentence was simple enough, yet coming from Yu Mingjiao's mouth, it somehow carried an indescribable sense of intimacy.

Cen Lingqiu felt a bit awkward. "Did I?"

Yu Mingjiao didn't reply, just looked at her with those big, dark eyes.

Cen Lingqiu started doubting herself under Yu Mingjiao's gaze.

She rarely got drunk, so she wasn't sure what she was like when she drank. But from Yu Mingjiao's expression, it seemed like it wasn't good.

Cen Lingqiu, feeling slightly embarrassed, asked, "Maybe I'm not good with alcohol. Did I say anything strange?"

Yu Mingjiao smoothed out her messy hair and replied with a hint of irony, "Would you have anything strange to say?"

Cen Lingqiu paused for a moment, "I don't think so."

She tried to get out of bed, but her body still felt weak. The aftereffects of the drink were too much.

Yu Mingjiao gently pushed her back down. "You should rest."

With that, she got up and left the room. Cen Lingqiu, still suffering from her headache, stayed in bed for a while longer.

After ten minutes or so, Yu Mingjiao returned with a cup of honey water. One hand maneuvered her wheelchair while the other held the cup, so she moved slowly.

Cen Lingqiu quickly got up to take the cup from her. "You went out just to make this for me?"

Yu Mingjiao nodded.

Cen Lingqiu smiled. "Thank you."

She took the cup and drank a few sips, feeling her dry lips begin to moisten. Unconsciously, she licked her lips.

Yu Mingjiao suddenly recalled last night's faint touch. She touched her lips, her gaze darkening.

"Jiaojiao." Cen Lingqiu asked, puzzled, "Why is your face suddenly so red?"

Yu Mingjiao: "…Is it?"

Cen Lingqiu: "It's obvious. Are you feeling unwell?"

Yu Mingjiao shook her head. "No, I'm just a little warm."

Cen Lingqiu glanced at the weather outside. It was late summer, early autumn; it couldn't be that hot.

Yu Mingjiao felt strange, inexplicably so.

She didn't want to be too close to Cen Lingqiu just then and found an excuse. "I'm going to be late for work. I should go."

With that, she left the room in a hurry.

Cen Lingqiu hadn't even fully processed what had happened before she was gone.

It seemed like she was avoiding something.

Cen Lingqiu didn't understand.