Once certain hidden feelings are revealed, the emotions between two people surge like an unstoppable tide.
Cen Lingqiu and Yu Mingjiao were no longer just friends. In truth, they had stopped being mere friends a long time ago. They were in love.
They no longer hid their feelings. They kissed and held hands openly, like any ordinary couple, doing the most normal things.
Cen Lingqiu took Yu Mingjiao home to visit Zhang Li. Zhang Li had no objections to their relationship and was simply happy to have them over.
She also took Yu Mingjiao to many places, places with beautiful scenery they had never seen before.
In just one month, they shared many sunsets together.
At times, Yu Mingjiao felt like she was dreaming.
Life was too perfect now.
Even though she felt happy when they were together, a lingering sense of unease gnawed at her.
Perhaps happiness itself is a dangerous thing, something that can't last forever.
The longer happiness stays, the more serious the consequences when it fades.
Gradually, Yu Mingjiao began to notice something was off with Cen Lingqiu.
The first sign was in her cooking. Cen Lingqiu had always been an excellent cook, with every dish perfectly seasoned. But recently, she kept making mistakes. Dishes were either too salty or completely flavorless.
At first, Yu Mingjiao thought she was doing it on purpose, but one day, Cen Lingqiu made sweet and sour pork, eagerly awaiting her reaction. Yu Mingjiao took a bite.
It was nothing but salt, with not a hint of sweetness.
"How is it?" Cen Lingqiu rested her chin on her hand, smiling expectantly. "Is it too sweet?"
Yu Mingjiao maintained her calm expression. "Why don't you try it yourself, Lingqiu Jie?"
"Is it bad? Let me see." Cen Lingqiu took a bite and for a brief moment, her face froze in confusion. But just as quickly, she returned to her usual calm, misty demeanor.
"I think it's fine," Cen Lingqiu said, her tone light but probing. "What do you think?"
Yu Mingjiao smiled softly. "I like it."
Then she began to eat the dish, despite its awful taste.
This wasn't the first time Yu Mingjiao had eaten strange-tasting food. Cen Lingqiu's cooking had been off lately, but no matter how bad it was, Yu Mingjiao ate it without complaint.
Seeing Yu Mingjiao eat so much, Cen Lingqiu let out a barely noticeable sigh of relief.
She realized she couldn't taste anything anymore. She had always tasted her dishes while cooking, but now, nothing registered. Everything seemed flavorless. Lately, she had been relying purely on instinct to season her food.
She knew this was part of her body's slow deterioration. First, her sense of taste was going. Soon, it would be her sight, her hearing. She didn't have much time left.
Yu Mingjiao suddenly started coughing violently, covering her mouth as tears streamed down her face.
Cen Lingqiu panicked and rushed over, gently patting her back and handing her some water.
"Here, drink some water."
Yu Mingjiao took the water and sipped it, but the tears kept falling.
"Take deep breaths, it's alright now," Cen Lingqiu soothed her, rubbing her back and wiping her tears with a free hand.
"Don't cry, Jiao Jiao."
Yu Mingjiao's eyes were red, and the tears wouldn't stop. She turned her head away, not wanting to look at Cen Lingqiu.
Though her tears were from coughing, it felt as though she were crying.
—
Yu Mingjiao already had a gnawing suspicion about what was happening but didn't dare to believe it. She couldn't bring herself to ask. Instead, she remained silent, waiting for Cen Lingqiu to tell her the truth.
But Cen Lingqiu never did.
The hidden danger finally came to light one day.
Cen Lingqiu wanted to visit the aquarium, so she picked a good day to take Yu Mingjiao there. Just as they were about to leave, she realized she had forgotten her bag in the bedroom.
"I'll grab my bag, I'll be quick," Cen Lingqiu said, heading to the bedroom. But as soon as she grabbed her bag and walked out, her vision suddenly went dark. It was as if all the strength had been drained from her body. A dizzy spell hit her like a wave, and the bag slipped from her hand, hitting the floor with a thud.
Her legs gave out, and she collapsed onto the floor, utterly drained.
Through half-closed eyelids, Cen Lingqiu looked in Yu Mingjiao's direction, seeing her rushing toward her in a panic, wheeling herself as fast as she could.
But Cen Lingqiu had no strength left. She couldn't get up. All she could do was lie there, her gaze clouded.
Yu Mingjiao was frantic, her trembling hands fumbling over Cen Lingqiu's chest, checking if her heart was still beating. Her mind was in utter chaos.
Cen Lingqiu felt her consciousness slipping away. Before she completely passed out, the last thing she saw was the despair etched into Yu Mingjiao's face.
—
When Cen Lingqiu woke up, she found herself in a hospital room, the white walls and the sharp smell of disinfectant surrounding her.
She shifted her head slightly, the small movement immediately catching the attention of the person sitting beside her.
Yu Mingjiao had been dozing, having stayed by Cen Lingqiu's side for nearly an entire day.
"Lingqiu Jie..." Yu Mingjiao's voice trembled with a mixture of fear and relief. "You're awake?"
Cen Lingqiu sat up slowly, rubbing her temples. "How long was I out?"
"Nine hours," Yu Mingjiao's voice quivered.
"That long?" Cen Lingqiu tried to lighten the mood, to ease Yu Mingjiao's worry. "I didn't sleep well last night, so I guess I made up for it today."
But Yu Mingjiao's expression didn't soften. She remained tense, her lips pressed tightly together, her eyes cold as she fought to suppress the rising tide of anxiety.
"Lingqiu Jie, why did you suddenly pass out?"
Cen Lingqiu replied calmly, "I probably didn't sleep well. Don't worry about it."
"Cen Lingqiu!"
Yu Mingjiao's voice sharpened, her face cold and harsh. For the first time, she didn't use a respectful term.
"Stop brushing me off! Tell me the truth."
Cen Lingqiu sighed softly, still avoiding the real issue.
"You're being disrespectful. I'm eight years older than you, call me Jie."
Yu Mingjiao bit her lip, her eyes turning red as she stared at Cen Lingqiu with a mix of anger and sorrow.
Her gaze was sharp, filled with wet, raw grief.
Cen Lingqiu realized she couldn't hide the truth any longer.
There were some things that had to be said.
Cupping the back of Yu Mingjiao's head, Cen Lingqiu kissed her gently on the corner of her mouth, her voice tender. "Jiao Jiao, let's go home."
"I'll tell you everything when we get there."
—
The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with Cen Lingqiu's body. There was no clear explanation for her sudden collapse.
Seeing that she wasn't in any immediate danger, Yu Mingjiao agreed to take her home that evening.
On the way back, Yu Mingjiao remained silent, her mood dark and heavy. Even after they got home, bathed, and got ready for bed, she still didn't speak.
After Cen Lingqiu finished showering, she walked over to Yu Mingjiao, who was sitting on the bed, staring out the window. She seemed trapped in a shell of gloom, unreachable.
"Jiao Jiao," Cen Lingqiu called softly, bending down to look into her eyes. "Dry your hair."
Yu Mingjiao lowered her gaze but said nothing.
Cen Lingqiu sighed and grabbed the hairdryer, drying her hair for her.
When she was done, Yu Mingjiao finally spoke, her voice cold and detached.
"Lingqiu Jie, will you stay with me forever?"
Cen Lingqiu hesitated for a second.
Before she could answer, Yu Mingjiao spoke again, her voice filled with quiet desperation.
"Or... are you going to leave me again?"
Finally, Yu Mingjiao asked the question she had been avoiding since Cen Lingqiu's return. Her recent suspicions about Cen Lingqiu's odd behavior had pushed her to the breaking point.
She was terrified that whatever was happening with Cen Lingqiu would be the reason for her leaving again.
Cen Lingqiu sat down on the bed, gently stroking her face, her voice soft and steady.
"Jiao Jiao, you've always been curious about my past, haven't you?"
"I'll tell you about my life."
Cen Lingqiu told her everything.
She told Yu Mingjiao about her lonely, numb childhood, about dying over and over, the endless missions, and why she had come to this world. She explained why she kept disappearing.
She laid bare all the ugly, mundane parts of herself, leaving nothing unsaid.
And finally, she spoke the words Yu Mingjiao dreaded most.
"Jiao Jiao, I... will leave again."
It was such a short sentence, yet it weighed so heavily that Cen Lingqiu could barely breathe.
Yu Mingjiao's face went blank, her expression frozen, like a broken machine. Slowly, as if regaining some semblance of feeling, her lips began to tremble.
"Again..." Yu Mingjiao's hands covered her face as her voice broke, laughter bubbling up through her sobs. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably.
"I knew it... I knew it would be like this..."
"Why?"
Yu Mingjiao's voice cracked as she cried out.
"Why?"
Her bloodshot eyes fixed on Cen Lingqiu as she screamed, "Why is it always like this, Cen Lingqiu? Tell me why!"
Struggling to catch her breath, she took in a deep, shaky breath.
"I've only known you for just over a year, so why have I had to wait for you for so many years?"
Cen Lingqiu closed her eyes and turned her head away. She couldn't bear to meet Yu Mingjiao's tearful gaze.
Yu Mingjiao's voice became hollow. "Lingqiu Jie, sometimes I really wish you would just die."
Cen Lingqiu wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly, whispering over and over again, "I know, Jiao Jiao. I know, Jiao Jiao."
"I'd rather you die, and I'll die with you. That would be better than making me wait, over and over again. I don't want to wait for you, Cen Lingqiu." Yu Mingjiao's eyes were empty, her voice drained. "Why do I have to keep waiting for you? I could just die right now. Why do I have to stay alive, waiting for you? Why, Cen Lingqiu?"
Cen Lingqiu kissed her tear-stained eyelids, trying to soothe her.
"Cen Lingqiu, don't leave me again... I really will die." Yu Mingjiao clung to her, her head buried in Cen Lingqiu's chest, tears streaming down her face as she choked out her words in despair.
"Do you want me to die? How can you be so heartless? Didn't you say you would take care of me? So why... why do you keep leaving me again and again? I... I'm really suffering."
It hurts so much, Lingqiu.
Cen Lingqiu felt a wave of overwhelming pain wash over her, nearly drowning in Yu Mingjiao's anguish. It was as if a sponge soaked with water had been pressed against her mouth and nose, making it impossible to breathe.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
All she could do was apologize, over and over again.
I'm sorry for coming into your life.
I'm sorry for giving you hope, only to take it away.
I'm sorry for making you love me.
I'm sorry for abandoning you.
Jiao Jiao, I'm sorry.
No matter what, it's my fault.
I'm the one who left you to suffer.
I'm so, so sorry.