A Heart’s Desire

They were both sitting cross legged on Clair's giant bed, when she began to talk.

"From what I've been able to read, the Desert Fae is more of a spiritual presence than a physical being. I haven't found any records of anyone actually seeing her." Clair began.

"That's a shame. I was picturing some cute, Tinkerbell type of creature flying around and waving a magic wand. Sprinkling a little trail of gold dust wherever she goes."

Clair gave her a look that could make a flower wither. "Try to take this seriously. Just because you can't see something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

Jessica was about clap back that was exactly what it meant, then bit her tongue. Wasn't believing without seeing, the very foundation of organised religion?

"Fine then." she muttered. "What else do you know? How can people be so sure the Fae is a real thing?"

"There's tales dating back from the Native Indians of droughts that have lasted years, even decades. They've been passed down the generations. Whenever the Fae's unhappy with the actions of the local population, she holds back the rain to punish them."

Jessica tried not to burst out laughing at those last words, but failed. "Are you being serious? Of course there's hardly any rain here! We're in the fucking desert! That's nothing to do with some mythical Fae, it's just geography!"

"Except it didn't use to be this way." Clair said coolly.

"What do you mean?"

"There's written records from the first settlers here, that this area had fertile lands. They say the Indians used to sow maize and hunt the buffalo grazing around here." Clair eyed her. "People aren't usually keen to doom themselves. They don't just look at some godforsaken wasteland and think, "Hmm, I don't think even weeds could grow in this dirt. I'll probably starve. Why don't we settle here anyway and try to make a living?" The settlers wouldn't have stopped here if there hadn't been anything worthwhile."

Jessica tried to absorb what she was hearing. It was a struggle. She tried to picture greenery - anything that wasn't a cactus - growing around Abbot Springs.

But it was impossible to imagine anything apart from an endless sea of pale brown sand. A landscape barren of both vegetation and hope.

The desert had always been desert. Hadn't it?

"Even the name the first white people chose for the town tells you that things have changed. It wasn't always like this." Clair murmured.

"Abbot Springs…?"

"Exactly. People settled here because there was a network of freshwater springs irrigating the land. It meant you could farm here. This was once a little green oasis within the desert and the Fae was benevolent. But then the people displeased her and she turned her face away from them." Clair stretched back against a pile of pillows. "And that was the end of the rain."

"What did people do to make her so angry?"

"Well… Im not exactly sure. I haven't been able to find anything written about a specific offence. I know that at some point, the people managed to regain her favour and the drought broke."

"Really? You call this breaking a drought?" Jessica gestured towards the window with a sweep of her arm. "Because I'd hate to think what this hellscape would look like right now, if the Fae was still pissed at us."

"She is still pissed at us, Jess." Clair shook her head, clearly annoyed that her friend wasn't seeing the entire picture. "The first settlers - they weren't the only one that made the Fae angry. Yes, that first group managed to earn her forgiveness. But then it happened again."

"You mean that a few years or decades later, the population made her mad again? Maybe the first people, or maybe their descendants?"

"Yes."

"Doing what?" Jessica had to ask. She thought everything Clair was saying was insane, but she still had to ask.

"I don't know. Whatever it is people do. We can be a pretty stupid and selfish bunch when we want to be."

"So what you're saying," Jessica chose her words carefully, "is that whenever our ancestors did something to offend this local spirit, they were punished by drought? At least until they begged her for forgiveness, or something."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"And throughout the town's history, sometimes we've been on the Fae's good side and sometimes we haven't been. Right now, at least for as long as people our age have been alive, Abbot Springs has been a total dump. Which means something must've happened in the past that we still aren't forgiven for?"

"Exactly, bestie." Clair looked pleased.

Jessica sat in silence for a while, letting the strange story sink into her mind. Holy shit, it sounded ridiculous. She wanted to scoff and dismiss it all.

So why did a tiny corner of her mind hesitate?

Why did that tiny corner stop her from telling Clair that she'd be better off focusing on her physics textbook than on some local legend?

"You don't look too convinced." Clair smirked at her, then took a long drink from the can she was still holding.

"I'm not." Jessica replied but without any real confidence. "What you're saying sounds wild. For starters, droughts happen all the time. Weather patterns change and all. It's nothing supernatural."

"Maybe. It could all be a coincidence, like you say. But if that's true, why is it every time an offer of apology has been made to the Fae, the droughts have broken immediately after?"

"Is that what the legends say?"

Clair nodded. "I've read about five different instances of that happening since the white folk arrived here. Once - you could say it's a total coincidence. Twice - maybe. But five times?"

"Ok, whatever. So what did the people have to do five times to suck up to this Fae?"

"They had to make her an offering and hope she accepted it." Clair made it sounds like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What kind of offering?"

"A sacrifice."

- - -

Jessica found herself shivering. She took off her glasses and rubbed her forehead.

Why did that word sound so sinister?

The real question was: why was she letting Clair's half baked fairytale get under her skin?

She tried to break up the mood with a bit of humour. "What do you mean by that? Did people build some altar out of rocks in the desert and sacrifice their firstborns for the greater good? Is that what cheers up the Fae?"

"Something like that. You're not too far off, Jess."

So much fro trying to lighten the mood with a bit of humour, Jessica thought. That completely backfired.

She felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. It was the same feeling she'd had earlier that day, when she'd realised she was about to crash land on the gymnasium floor. "What the actual fuck? That's sick."

Clair snickered. "Heh! You should see your face right now. If you're going to puke, no judgement. But please don't do it all over my bed."

"How can you find this funny? Our conversation has veered from a stupid fable to talking about human sacrifices, and you're acting like it's a joke!"

"Calm down, cupcake. No one's talking about anything of the sort. Not specifically, anyway. I couldn't find anything mentioning anything as gory as what you're saying."

Jessica swallowed back the sour taste in her throat. "Then what are you talking about? Because now I'm just confused."

"All the records I could find talked about winning the Fae's love back through making a sacrifice, but they didn't go into detail about what kind of sacrifices they were." Clair shrugged. "The legends simply said that if you offer the Fae what she truly craves, she'll thank you by granting your own heart's desire."

"Right. And what did the Fae crave, or what's she after now? Since as you say, she's been holding a grudge all these years?"

"That's what I'm determined to find out. I'm going to keep digging." Clair's smile gleamed. "Because if I can offer her something she wants… well, just imagine that."

Jessica puckered her face in thought. "I guess the drought would break, if what you say is true. But do you really care about that?"

"I don't give two shits about a drought, or whatever else happens here. Honestly, Jess! I couldn't care less about Abbot Springs. All I want is the ability to get the hell out of it. That's what I'd wish for! Aren't you dying to escape as well?"

"Yes, of course I am! I just… I just don't know how." Jessica hung her head, feeling defeated. "I've got no idea how to leave. How can I when I have no money, no prospects? Nothing. What am I supposed to do?"

"We'll figure it out."

"No, you'll figure it out, Clair. Your family's rich and being rich means having options." She took a breath, trying not to sound full of jealousy. "I'm stuck in this crappy town. I hate people asking me over and over what I want to do when school ends, because I have no choice! I'm going to be stuck waitressing or some other dead end job here, and what I wanted won't ever matter!"

Clair looked taken aback by her harsh tone. "I didn't know you felt this way."

"Well, I do."

But you never really talk about it."

Jessica remained sitting up straight. Her side ached every time she slouched. "What's the point of talking about it? It's not going to change my situation."