Chapter 4 : I remember you

No... Don't look at me like that... I'm sorry, please talk to me... no... please... Amaya... Amaya... I'm sorry... "Please... a... ya... I'm... so... ry... A... ma..."

"Zeya! Zeya!" Who? Amaya, please...

"Zeya!"

"No!"

*Badum*

Where am I? What's going on? Where... Where is Amaya!? Did... did something happen to her!? Amaya.. Ama..ya..

Finally lifting my head, I met the concerned gazes of my friends, Demi and Somiya. The realisation dawned upon me that I had been reborn, transported back to the past. A bitter chuckle escaped my lips as I glanced at my palm, its lines a cruel reminder of my failure to alter our tragic destiny.

"Zeya? What's going on? Is everything alright?" Somiya's voice held a gentle concern, but it fell on deaf ears. My mind raced, consumed by a single, haunting question: why? Why!?

"Why couldn't I change our fate?" I whispered, my voice barely a breath.

Demi sat beside me, as I wept, hiding my face in my palm.

If our fate was predetermined, why had I been granted this second chance? Why!? I would have cherished dying in her arms then– Dying in her arms? But a haunting realisation pierced my heart: I jumped into the ocean. I drown alone. Why, then, did the thought of dying in her embrace linger in my mind?

"Was being saved by me that much bad?" Huh?

My heart pounded like a bullet train as I looked up, my eyes widening and my lips parting in disbelief. It wasn't a dream.

Amaya stood before me, surrounded by her group. She... is smiling? For the first time in decades, I saw her smiling. Tears streamed down my cheeks as my lips quivered. What had I not done to see that smile? That beautiful, pure, innocent smile of hers...

I couldn't bear it. Amaya... please stop. It hurts. I can't bear to stay away from you..

"Zeya, you almost fell off the stairs. Thanks to Amaya, she got there in time and saved you." Demi explained the reason for their presence.

How ironic. You made me wish for death, and now you're saving me.

"Thank you for saving me." The words came naturally to me. Except for "sorry" and "thank you," have I ever uttered other words to you?

"I remember you." She smiled again, her eyes twinkling with a newfound warmth.

Do you?

Memories of our encounter in the bathroom flooded my mind. I remember too. Her indifferent, cold, blank eyes and face. I remember everything more vividly than she does.

"Oh, right, we met in the bathroom earlier. Thank you again for saving me from falling."

I'll never stop fighting to change our fate. I'll keep challenging the divine forces that be, but I'll never give up…

But in my previous life—

"You don't remember me?"

Her smile faded, and a cold pit formed in my stomach. Why was she asking me like this? In our previous life, she never smiled on our first meeting. I started to see her smile only after we entered university.

Did something change? Did we meet even before I was transported to this world? Did our story take a different turn? Or... are you also from... No, it can't be but...

"Are you talking about our—"

*Thwack*

"So you did see her in front of the classroom!" Fred hit Amaya on the head, causing her to wince in pain. "Fred! It hurts! I'm a little fragile girl!" Amaya glared at Fred before retaliating with a kick to his leg.

In front of the classroom...

Fred saw me staring at Amaya, so she must have been referring to that incident.

She had caught me gazing at her with my raw emotions on display. That's why she wanted to know if we had met before.

Allowing her to see my vulnerable emotions had been my greatest mistake today.

"Amaya! Fred! Stop fighting and let Zeya rest." Elli scolded them, pulling them apart. Come to think of it, where were Elli, Fred, and Seth in our previous life? After Elli lost her arm, Amaya's group and my friend's group started to fall apart somehow. Then in third year, Sophia died in the middle of her performance due to an earthquake. After that, what actually happened? After Sophia's death, Amaya stopped talking about her friends, and I never asked her why.

Amaya's cheerful farewell echoed through the doorway as Elli struggled to push them out of the room. "Zeya! See you!"

"Yeah! We're buddies now!" Fred exclaimed, raising his fist in the air before being kicked out of the room.

"Please don't mind them. They're always like this. Take care!" Seth called out, waving as he exited with Sophia and Elli.

"Wow, they're pretty down to earth despite being popular." Somiya's voice was devoid of emotion. I glanced at her, who was engrossed in slurping the juice that had been intended for me. Shifting my gaze to Demi, who had been unusually quiet throughout the encounter, I asked, "Is everything alright?" Demi's silence was deafening, a heavy weight in the air.

Then came the words that shattered my world: "Stay away from Amaya."

Demi's voice was cold and unforgiving, echoing the same cruel decree she had uttered in our previous life. Somiya also stared at Demi. My heart sank, a bitter chuckle escaping my lips. Why does it hurt? In the past, I defied Demi, but this time...

"Okay." My voice was barely a whisper. I know. It hurts. How much I made up my mind, the thought of leaving you filled me with an anguish that's almost unbearable. But to protect our happiness, I shall do what I need to do even if it means strangling my love for you, Amaya.