Chapter 19: Forks of Fate

I was laying in the usual, endless, cozy void of my dreams when the thought hit me: I should definitely start a food truck. Why? Why not? The world needs a culinary experience created by the God of Reality himself. Besides, food is a perfect medium to mess with people's expectations and souls! I could see it now—dishes that make you question your very existence, like the bowl of spicy ramen that leaves you gasping for air as you ponder the meaning of life.

Of course, I couldn't do this alone. I needed a partner in crime, someone who could match my genius, or at least tolerate my existence. That's when Koyasu came to mind. He's a homeless alcoholic, sure, but back in the day, that guy had a sharp eye for flavor. Plus, he was one of my best childhood friends. I mean, who wouldn't trust a spirit who's been around for centuries to run a food truck?

I teleported to the alleyway where Koyasu was usually found. There he was, leaning against the side of a grimy building, a half-empty bottle of sake in his hand.

"Koyasu!" I called, my voice filled with the kind of over-exaggerated joy you use when you want something from someone.

He slowly lifted his head, squinting through the haze of alcohol. "What now, Y/N? You gonna ruin the fabric of space-time again?"

"Nah, I got a better idea! We're starting a food truck."

Koyasu blinked, his drunken brain taking a moment to process. "A... food truck?"

"Yup! Think about it. You, me, Hiyori—"

"Hiyori?" he asked, suddenly more interested. "You think she'd join us?"

"Well, she doesn't exactly have a choice. She's gotta come along for the ride. I'll drag her if I have to."

Koyasu chuckled, clearly amused. "Alright, I'm in. But this better not be some cosmic joke."

"Don't worry! We're gonna make dishes that people will never forget. First thing's first—we need a name for the truck. Something catchy!"

We brainstormed for a few minutes, tossing ridiculous ideas back and forth. Then it hit me.

"How about... Forks of Fate?" I suggested, my eyes lighting up at the double meaning.

Koyasu nodded. "Yeah, that works. Now, what's the menu gonna be?"

Oh, I already had that covered. In fact, I'd been brainstorming dish names before I even woke up this morning.

Two Hours Later...

We were parked at a nice corner spot, our freshly summoned food truck shining like a beacon of culinary absurdity. The sign above it read Bites of Reality in neon lights, with a small tagline underneath that said, "Serving your daily dose of existential crisis, one bite at a time."

I could feel the excitement building. We had a chalkboard outside listing our newly crafted dishes.

1. Beef It or Leaf It – Spicy beef stir-fry, a guaranteed challenge for anyone questioning their life choices.

2. Rice to Meet You – Rice dish so friendly, you'll want to bring it home to meet your parents.

3. Sashimi and Regret – Thin slices of fish with a side of deep, existential reflection.

4. Shrimp-ly the Best – Tempura shrimp that'll make you believe in the magic of seafood.

5. Duck, Duck, GOOSEbumps – Roasted duck so good, it's terrifying.

6. Fishy Business – A seafood platter that raises more questions than it answers.

7. Bowl of Eternal Suffering – Ramen that's so spicy, you'll feel like you're having a spiritual experience.

8. Miso Hungry – Miso soup that's just a bit too demanding of your soul.

9. Pork My Life Choices – Pork belly that'll remind you of every bad decision you've ever made.

10. Tofu or Not Tofu – A tofu dish that leaves you questioning the meaning of existence.

11. Salmon Sayonara – Salmon so good, you'll say goodbye to reality for a while.

12. Egg-sistential Crisis – A sunny-side-up egg on toast that'll have you rethinking your breakfast choices.

13. Udon Mess with Me – Udon noodles for when you're feeling a little too sure of yourself.

14. Karaage and Carnage – Fried chicken with a side of total chaos.

15. Tempura Tantrum – Vegetables fried to crispy perfection, with a side of emotional outbursts.

16. Poultry & Adultery – Chicken that'll make you feel like you've cheated on every other dish.

17. Thick Thighs Save Lives – A plate of chicken thighs that reminds you of better days.

18. Hen-Thai Chicken – For reasons I'm not even going to explain.

Koyasu and I stood in front of the truck, admiring our work. "This is gonna be legendary," I declared.

Koyasu took a deep breath, nodding in agreement. "Yup. So... where's Hiyori?"

I teleported back to my shrine where Hiyori was reading some old scrolls, probably something about Fox Magic or whatever she finds interesting. She looked up the moment I appeared and groaned, already sensing trouble.

"Nope, whatever it is, I'm not doing it," she said, standing up and crossing her arms.

"Oh, but you are," I grinned, grabbing her hand before she could pull away. "We're starting a food truck!"

"A food what?"

Before she could protest, I dragged her back to the truck, where Koyasu was waiting, a bottle of sake in hand.

"Why do I have to be involved in this?" Hiyori complained, glaring at me.

"Because, Hiyori, it's not just any food truck," I explained, gesturing toward the neon sign. "It's Bites of Reality! We're serving food so good, it'll make people question their existence. I need your fox powers to keep the food extra magical, you know? And your charm to keep customers happy."

She looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Which, to be fair, wasn't entirely off the mark.

"I refuse to be part of this insanity!" she yelled, but Koyasu interrupted.

"Come on, Hiyori," Koyasu slurred. "It'll be fun. Besides, I heard that some of your fox magic might even improve the flavor."

Her fox ears twitched, and I could see the gears turning in her head. Hiyori always took pride in her kitsune abilities, so the thought of improving the food seemed to appeal to her more than she wanted to admit.

She sighed in defeat. "Fine. But if this turns into some cosmic disaster, I'm out."

"Deal!" I gave her a big thumbs-up. "Now, let's get cooking!"

Three Hours Later...

We had our first customer—a mortal who looked like he'd just gotten off work, his tired face perking up at the sight of our truck. He read the menu, blinked, and scratched his head.

"Uh... I'll take the Bowl of Eternal Suffering, I guess?" he said hesitantly.

"Excellent choice!" I clapped my hands, and with a flick of my wrist, reality shifted ever so slightly, ensuring his bowl of ramen would deliver exactly what the name promised. Koyasu handed him the bowl with a wicked grin.

The man took one bite, and his face turned bright red. His eyes widened in sheer panic, and tears began streaming down his cheeks. He gasped for breath, looking at us in terror.

"I...I think I'm...dying..." he wheezed.

Koyasu and I exchanged a satisfied nod.

"Another satisfied customer," I said with a smirk.

Hiyori facepalmed. "This is going to be a long day..."

Thus, the madness of the Forks of Fate began. We had no idea how long this little venture would last, but with dishes like Thick Thighs Save Lives and Hen-Thai Chicken on the menu, one thing was certain—we were going to have a weird customer base.

I could feel Hiyori's eyes burning into the back of my head as we watched our first customer stumble away, tears still streaming down his face. She probably had more complaints locked and loaded, but I was too wrapped up in my own genius to care.

"Y/N," she said through gritted teeth, "you can't just give people near-death experiences for lunch."

"Why not?" I shrugged, waving my hand as another customer approached. "What's life without a little existential crisis now and then? Besides, he'll survive. Probably."

Koyasu took a swig of sake, leaning against the side of the food truck with a lazy grin. "Honestly, Hiyori, you worry too much. People love a good challenge, especially when it's something like spicy ramen. They'll be back for more."

She raised an eyebrow, her arms still crossed. "You two are impossible."

"And you're adorable when you're frustrated," I quipped, earning myself an even sharper glare. But before she could unleash her kitsune wrath, I spotted another customer approaching—a young woman this time, looking curious yet hesitant.

"Welcome to Forks of Fate!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms open wide like I was welcoming her to a grand feast. "What'll it be? A bowl of life-altering ramen? Or maybe you'd prefer something that questions the very fabric of your soul?"

The woman blinked, clearly unsure whether she was in the right place. "Uh... I was just looking for something light... Maybe some tempura?"

"Ah, Tempura Tantrum, an excellent choice!" I said, snapping my fingers. The next moment, Koyasu was handing her a beautifully arranged plate of crispy vegetables, glistening with oil and sprinkled with just a hint of chaos.

She took a tentative bite, and for a moment, her face was calm. But then, her expression shifted—a mixture of confusion, awe, and an almost spiritual awakening. She looked at me, eyes wide, as though she'd just been shown the secrets of the universe.

"It's... it's perfect," she whispered, before walking away in a daze.

"See?" I nudged Hiyori with a grin. "She's having a great time. Food is supposed to challenge your senses, maybe even your existence. That's the beauty of it!"

Hiyori, however, didn't seem convinced. She stood there, arms still crossed, her fox tail swishing behind her in mild irritation. "I don't know if you're a genius or completely insane," she muttered.

"Why can't it be both?" I replied with a wink.

The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind of orders, existential dish names, and questionable customer experiences. Koyasu and I handled the chaos with ease, while Hiyori mostly stood by, trying to contain her frustration every time I got a little too creative with reality.

But then something interesting happened.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the busy street, a familiar figure appeared in the distance. A tall man with a sharp, regal presence—dark red hair that matched the fading light, yellow eyes glowing with malice. Akuma, the Demon King, my old friend and current pain in my divine ass.

"Oh great, look who's here," I muttered, watching him stride towards us with that cocky grin plastered on his face.

Hiyori's ears perked up, her expression growing wary. "What does he want now?"

"Who knows?" I shrugged. "But whatever it is, it's probably bad news."

Akuma stopped in front of our truck, looking up at the neon sign. His lips curled into a smirk. "A food truck, Y/N? Really? You've fallen so low."

I leaned against the counter, crossing my arms. "Nah, just having some fun. Want to try a dish? We've got a bowl of ramen that'll make you question your life choices."

Akuma chuckled darkly. "I don't need ramen to do that."

His eyes shifted to Hiyori, and for a brief moment, I could feel the tension rise. She didn't flinch, though—just glared back at him with her usual fierce determination. Good. I'd taught her well.

"So, what brings you here, Akuma?" I asked, keeping my tone light even though I could sense his bad intentions a mile away.

"I was in the neighborhood," he said casually, but there was something dangerous in his voice. "Thought I'd check in on my old friend. You've been busy, it seems."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a hint of jealousy I hear?"

"Hardly," he scoffed, his grin widening. "But I must admit, I'm curious. What are you playing at, Y/N? First, the food truck, then dragging Koyasu and Hiyori into it... What's your endgame?"

"My endgame?" I chuckled, turning to glance at Koyasu, who was now sprawled out on a nearby bench, bottle of sake still in hand. "I don't have an endgame. This is all just for fun."

Akuma's eyes narrowed, and I could feel the weight of his gaze, like he was trying to peel back the layers of my motives. But I wasn't about to let him get into my head. That's my job, after all.

"Well," Akuma said after a long pause, "I'll be watching. Don't disappoint me."

With that, he turned and walked away, disappearing into the growing shadows of the city.

I watched him go, my mind already racing with new ideas. There was something about Akuma's visit that didn't sit right with me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Whatever he was planning, I'd be ready for it.

For now, though, I had a food truck to run—and plenty of reality-bending dishes left to serve.

I turned back to Hiyori, who was still glaring at the spot where Akuma had stood. "You alright?"

She nodded slowly, though her expression remained tense. "He's up to something, Y/N. You know that, right?"

"Of course he is," I said with a grin. "But we'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, let's focus on making the best damn food truck this world has ever seen."

Hiyori sighed, but a small smile tugged at her lips. "You're impossible."

"And you love it," I teased, earning myself another exasperated look.

But as the last light of the day faded and the city streets grew quiet, I couldn't help but feel a strange sense of anticipation. Whatever Akuma was planning, it wouldn't be long before our paths crossed again. Probably next week Tuesday or something. Eh, who cares? We're all here for the gags, am I right?