The Wandering Ninja Clan!

The king is dead, long live the king.

King Kakeru had kicked the bucket, like five minutes ago, but Sakura couldn't see any way for Prince Michiru to claim the throne— unless she and her fellow Leaf shinobi stepped in.

Thanks to his reputation for weakness and ineffectiveness, King Kakeru had never been popular among the soldiers, so when the ministers promised them a share of the spoils of war, it wasn't hard to convince them to overthrow the royal line— leaving Team Royalists severely outnumbered against Team Revolution.

The situation was hopeless, but as long as the royal line yet lived, there was a chance for a comeback. Living standards for the general populace were sure to plummet once Prime Minister Shabadaba took power, so for now, the plan was to evacuate the two princes overseas while the Royalists worked to rally support for their cause— waiting for the day their true king would return.

…

"Let's go," said Kakashi-sensei, seeing Captain Korega signal them from the beach.

Team 7, a few soldiers and the two princes were currently hiding in a forest near the beach, but in just a few moments, a boat would arrive to take them back to the mainland. Under the cover of darkness, the princes would leave Crescent Moon Island and begin a new life on the shinobi continent as the self-proclaimed rulers of Free Land of Moon.

"Wait for me!" huffed and puffed Prince Michiru.

"Come on, Papa!" said Prince Hikaru encouragingly. "You can do it!"

Everyone seemed to have forgotten that Michiru wasn't exactly in peak physical condition. Burdened by his morbid obesity, he could manage little more than a hurried shuffle—while the rest of the group had already made it across the beach. If they went any farther, they'd have water up to their ankles!

Sighing, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke went to help— but the instant they approached him, three dark shadows shot out from the forest canopy. The smallest figure flung a kunai towards them, though it fell short— and a split second after embedding itself into the sand, the exploding tag attached to the kunai's pommel detonated, releasing a cloud of colourful smoke that quickly diffused through the air. Using the smoke as cover, the three shadows landed on the beach a few metres away from Sakura and company.

"Are you stupid?" came a girl's mocking voice.

"The coastline is being closely watched," came a man's self-assured voice. "We know everything, even that you've arranged for boats to take you away from here— now, hand over the fat man and the kid."

Honestly, Team Kakashi held no affection for the self-absorbed Michiru and the bratty Hikaru, but a job was a job— abandoning the princes would be bad for the Hidden Leaf's reputation, and there was no point giving up before even trying!

Sakura and Sasuke immediately opened their Sharingan, though Kakashi decided to wait and see a little longer before unsealing his, preferring to save his chakra.

"As if we would!" growled Naruto. "You're not getting your hands on them, y'know!"

Now that they were standing still in front of them, Sakura could see her three opponents clearly. The first was a hulking brute of a man with thick lips, the second was a tall man with long hair, and the third was a little blonde girl with no breasts to speak of… unfortunately for Sakura, there was nothing to steal there!

"Hmpf…"

And suddenly, the tall man was standing between Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. He slowly aimed a punch at the back of Naruto's head…

"Sha!" shouted Sakura, taking a swing at the man. "Chakra Enhanced Punch… eh?"

In Sakura's crimson eyes, the enemy seemed to dodge in slow motion… but to her surprise, she felt her fist connect with something before she could even think to transition from a punch into a spinning elbow club into a reverse spinning hook kick.

"Gyaaah!" screamed Naruto, as Sakura backshot him with a full Taijutsu combo that planted him headfirst into the sandy beach, leaving his legs sprouting out from the ground.

"Naruto, what happened to you!?" gasped Sakura, before rounding on her three foes. "You bastards, how dare you do this to my friend Naruto!"

"…" said the tall man.

"…" said the huge man.

The little girl giggled.

"That's quite enough," snarled Kakashi.

Kakashi flickered behind the tall man, holding a kunai to his neck.

"Is that so?" he responded casually.

The tall man somehow vanished from Kakashi's sight and reappeared behind him in the blink of an eye. Sasuke, who'd seemed frozen this entire time, finally reached into his pockets to grab a handful of shuriken, skilfully threading razor wire through their central holes.

"What are you looking at, boy?" said the huge man, grinning sadistically.

He launched a huge haymaker at Sasuke, who raised his arms to block instead of dodging— and, as one might expect given their size difference, Sasuke was sent flying into the sea.

But as the thuggish ninja turned to leer at the big-breasted girl, he felt his arm resist his movements— there was a thin wire coiled around his thick wrist, and the raven-haired boy was holding onto the other end!

Meanwhile, the little kunoichi had set her sights on Sakura. Normally, Team Kakashi let Sakura handle female opponents— since she seemed to prefer it that way— but this time, she was the one on the receiving end of the girl-on-girl action!

"Yer movements are slow, cow-tits!" the little kunoichi taunted her. "Must drag you down somethin' fierce with all that weight on yer chest, huh?"

Sakura had long since drawn her sword to parry the girl's furious kunai slashes, but the girl kept twirling, using the billowing and the flaring of her long clothes as a cover to conceal her true movements beneath. Sakura was certain she had blocked most of the strikes, but somehow, she kept getting cut… was something wrong with her reflexes, or her senses? It couldn't be Genjutsu, since her eyes could see through ordinary illusions…

"We've been drugged!" shouted Sasuke. "It's dulling our reflexes and our sight!

While fighting the huge hulking man, Sasuke had attached a wire to his opponent's arm— but strangely enough, he could feel the wire pulling in his hand each time he saw the enemy move… only, half a second in advance!

"Oh, it's just poison?" said Sakura, perking up. "Then, if that's the case…"

Sakura reversed her grip on the Manyuu blade and turned it towards herself, as if she were about to commit seppuku.

"Poison Tits Restoration Slash!"

She plunged her katana into her chest, drawing all foreign toxins from her blood onto her blade as it harmlessly phased through her body. Unfortunately, this was exactly when Naruto chose to dig himself out of the sand— thus ending his brief stint as a daikon radish.

"NOOO!" howled Naruto at the sight of Sakura's apparent death, his irises flashing scarlet as his pupils narrowed into vertical slits. "SAKURAAAA!!!"

Evil chakra started gushing out of his body, swirling around him like a tornado. One tail, two tails, three tails… four tails!

'Oh dear,' said Inner Sakura. 'This isn't good.'