Kai POV

"Don't, ngh, don't cum inside"

 I was like a crazed animal. I was aware of everything I was doing, everything Avery was saying, and everything I felt. However, I felt more like a spectator in my own body. There was an intense desire to do everything I wanted and to make him feel as good as possible, but at the same time there was an overwhelming greed that was trying to blind me. Mark him, knot him, make him mine. The urge to do those things was overwhelming, and there were times when a primal instinct threatened to take complete control of my actions.

 "Avery, haaa hmmm, I want to make you mine. I don't want to pull out, I want to knot you, I want to mark you. You're mine."

 I began thrusting even deeper into him, slowly pulling almost all the way out before thrusting into him as far as I could possibly go. I couldn't tell if he responded to what I said or not, and at a certain point I didn't care. I promised myself then and there that I would do everything I could to hold back. Picking Avery up I carried him to the bed. After I laid him down, I flipped him over onto his stomach.

 "Ahhh, hmm, Kai! Please, Please-"

 He was trying to tell me something between his moans, but I couldn't focus on what he was saying.

 "Shhhhh, don't worry. Everything will be okay, just relax and enjoy this. I won't hurt you."

 To be honest, I didn't know whether I was going to be able to fulfil that promise. I didn't want to believe that I was in a rut, and while I had never been with someone like this before, I knew these feelings came from a rather primal place. Holding myself back from giving in was painful, and I didn't want Avery to see what I was struggling with. I could sense that he was still enjoying himself, but there was a slight anxiety that was mixed into his pheromones.

 I could feel an overwhelming rush down my spine, and my dick started to throb to a point where it was almost uncomfortable. The only thing that quelled this feeling was thrusting deep into him, and then I realized that this was not a typical orgasm. I am about to knot him. As soon as I understood what was going on, a deep sense of fulfillment filled my entire being. This was what I wanted, to knot him and mark him as my own. This is what he said he wanted too, so why does this entire situation still make me feel uneasy?

 'Don't come inside.' I remember what Avery was trying to tell me earlier, and it took everything I had to pull out before I started to swell inside him. It was painful to say the least. I hadn't climaxed once since we started, I had been wanting to make this moment last as long as I could. At this point, being on the verge of knotting, I wouldn't have been able to climax just by pulling out and finishing myself off. I brought the back of my hand to my mouth, trying to stifle any sounds I may have made in my frustration, while pulling out. I sat on the edge of the bed, my back to Avery, trying to calm myself down before looking at him.

 "K-Kai? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

 Avery sounded hesitant, and I was so lost in my own emotions that I couldn't begin to try to guess what he was feeling. Is he mad that I was too rough? Did I hurt him? Did I make him feel afraid? The worst part about this is that I had to accept I was in a rut. I felt like if I turned around to look at him, the only thing I would accomplish was fulfilling my own desires without any regard to how he felt.

 "I think you were right; I am in a rut. I've never spent it with anyone before now, and it's a lot earlier than it should be. I don't think it's safe for you to be around me right now. I am going to lock myself in the bathroom, I have some suppressants in there I can take."

 The bed moved ever so slightly at the shifting of Avery's weight, and soon after I felt his soft, delicate hands rub up my back and rest on my shoulders. The rest of his body slowly pressed against my back, and I could feel his head resting just below my neck between my shoulder blades. His body felt so warm, and I was able to feel his racing heartbeat. He was still hard, and I felt him twitching slightly against me.

 "It's okay, Kai. If that's what you want to do then I won't stop you, but if you want to spend your rut with me… You can."

 "You don't understand. It took everything I had to stop myself from knotting and marking you. You aren't even in heat right now, so your body isn't exactly ready to take those things. If we keep going, I won't be able to stop myself like I just did. I don't want to hurt you. Plus, I don't have any condoms here."

 "I trust you, Kai. Whatever you have to give to me I will willingly take. Plus, I… Brought condoms."

 "Are they rutting condoms? If they aren't then they won't be able to withstand me knotting. It's too painful to pull out right before I knot, I don't think I could do it a second time. Think about the consequences if we keep going. I will end up marking you, and I will end up knotting inside you. You may not be in heat right now, but you are a dominant omega. The chance for pregnancy is still there. Do you really want to get pregnant by some random alpha you barely know?"

 "It's not like that, it's just… Even if you did your worst to me, I would still love you. I want to accept everything you have to give. If you can't stop yourself from knotting then don't, if you can't stop yourself from marking me then don't. If you would rather lock yourself in the bathroom with suppressants then I will support, you in that too."

 Avery was just telling me not to cum inside him a little while ago, but now he is ready to accept anything that I want to do to him, huh? An uneasy feeling crept up, and I couldn't help but wonder how much of what he was saying was how he truly felt, or the imprint itself talking.

 "Is that really how you feel? How much if that is how you feel, and how much of it is the imprint talking?"

 My words came out harsher than I meant them to, but somehow my pride felt a little hurt by this entire situation.

 "I can't really separate the two, Kai. I can't tell you if I only feel this way because of the imprint or not. What I can tell you is that I imprinted on you because of the intense desire and feelings I had for you. I could ask the same of you, too. Do you want to do those things only because you are in a rut, or do you want to do them because it's me?"

 I couldn't answer him. I felt embarrassed that I even asked that question, and I could tell that he was slightly hurt by the tone he took when he responded to me. We sat there for a moment in silence, and then Avery was the first one to move. He got off the bed and got on his knees in front of me. I moved my head to look into his eyes, and he was clearly concerned about something.

 His face paled and his eyes opened in shock, before he mumbled "What did you do?" He said it more to himself rather than asking me, and I didn't realize what he was talking about until he took my arm in his hands. There was huge bite mark, and there was blood dripping out from a few spots. I forgot it was there until Avery drew attention to it.

 "It's nothing. You asked me not to, you know… Cum inside, and I was about knot. I also was on the verge of marking you. I had to stop myself somehow, I didn't want to hurt you or do anything against your will."

 Avery let out a sigh before leaning his head against my thigh.

 "I give myself to you, Kai Barrett. I've been yours since the moment I imprinted on you. Do whatever you truly want to do, it's okay. I will always be here, regardless."

 How can he say that with so much confidence? He would be better off without me. Still, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to have someone by my side. Feelings that I had suppressed since childhood came rushing to the surface. I wanted to be loved, held, to be told everything would be okay. I wanted affection, and I wanted to give affection. I didn't want to be alone. Avery showed me tiny glimpses of what life could be like, and I wanted to see more – do more.

 His head was still laying on my leg, and the eyes looking up at me were nothing short of entrancing. They were a bright blue and shone almost like crystals. They reminded me of an ice-cold river flowing within a snowy mountain. They were eyes that seemed to delve into the deepest reaches of my soul, but the intensity was comforting rather than uncomfortable. I couldn't move, and I couldn't decide on what to do. I knew I wanted him more than anything, but I also wanted to prioritize his safety and comfort.

 "You know, you've been releasing pheromones this entire time. It hasn't stopped. I can tell what you're feeling because of them. You're torn up inside, not sure of what to do. You keep feeling excited and hopeful, but then you feel uneasy and afraid. Just… Be selfish. That would make me happy. Make a selfish decision, put yourself first for once. Do what you really want to do. That's what I want."

 Before I could fully grasp what he was telling me, Avery released a rush of pheromones. They were so thick and plentiful that I thought I was going to choke with every breath I took, but at the same time I welcomed the suffocation that they brought. This is almost like when he was in heat.

 "If you… Do that… I won't be able to stop myself."

 "Then don't."

 I had spent my entire adolescent life dealing with my rut while locked away in a room without medication, at least until I was in the latter years of high school. But here is a man, looking at me with nothing but pure happiness and affection, telling me it's okay to go with my urges rather than fight them. I felt like these shackles that were binding me down were being released. It's okay to be myself, to do what I want. The sensation was foreign to me, and if it were anyone else, I wouldn't have believed what they were saying.

 Avery's pheromones kept rushing out, and I could only describe the sensation as a textbook definition of a pheromone shower. I could feel how badly he wanted me to give in, and eventually all rationality went out the window. To be honest, the fact that I held on this long while in a rut with a dominant omega throwing himself at me was a feat in and of itself. I threw away all doubt that was floating around in my mind and put my entire focus on this omega in front of me.