Decaying Minds, Rotting Souls

As soon as Zabulus had met them both, Laz and Alice, they knew something was amiss with Zabulus, perhaps they sensed he was too out of character, or perhaps they'd recognised something different about him that no-one else in their lifetime could tell the difference. Although he feared the imminent conflict that may arise from this little chat, Laz decided to test him first.

He needed to be ready to act if anything went wrong.

He started off simple, first off he asked Zabulus a basic question to gauge whether or not he's dangerous, if he fails that simple question, which will result in no doubt whatsoever regarding Zabulus being hostile.

Laz has decided to ask the most cliched and overly-used question throughout history: "How is everything so far?"

Zabulus took a sip out of his cup, finishing the drink Laz offered him and placed it on a wooden table set right next to him. Taking in a deep breath, his response, "A bit more tiring than I would like but other than that I'm having a good time so far. Alice is a good person, and you seem very friendly, albeit eccentric," he responded before adding, "in any case, I wanted to ask you something."

Laz eyed the young man in front of him skeptically, gauging his expressions for a possible lie or something amiss, the way Zabulus spoke about everything showed his honesty without missing a single beat. So he said, "Ask away."

Zabulus sat quietly, searching the questions in his mind to see which would suit the most. And after a minute passed, he finally decided. "Do you know what the void is?"

"The Void?" He pondered for a moment, then a realisation dawned upon him, causing him to shudder. That couldn't possibly be possible. If Zabulus is asking about what he thinks it is, then how is he in Eskra? "Sorry, do you mean the Void in Blue? Or are we talking about two different ones here?"

He looks into Zabulus's eye, waiting anxiously for his answer. If he is correct with what he had implied then, there is no denying that everything here isn't entirely safe, he had to tread carefully for this is a matter of life or death potentially.

Slowly Zabulus begins to talk with an unevenness, "Well you see, my home is elsewhere. I do not know how I came up ashore in this land..." He trailed off as he started explaining, "I think, in some kind of event, I simply lost my consciousness and awoke here. But, yes, I do mean the Void in Blue... I heard the name from Alice." He kept talking further, and in detail about the thing he claims to have heard from Alice, and then slowly, the explanation had changed into something else entirely.

"Do you still remember, or did you forget about it as well? I've forgotten what occurred prior to my arrival. Perhaps that might explain how I feel currently. Yes, I do not have an explanation myself." His words began making less sense as he spoke, making gestures as his tone continued getting harsher by the second. "Everything will probably end anyway. Nothing lasts forever."

He snapped, and started fuming. "Yes, it's as simple as that. Your life is not infinite, your love, or hate or regret. Your thoughts can't exist for eternity. It is all nothing in the end." He continued ranting before stopping abruptly, as he stared blankly ahead.

His words made Laz worry. His actions, speech, everything screamed 'run away.' However, as always, he does what is expected, he keeps pushing things forward.

So Laz chuckled lightly, "So, you're saying the only thing that exists is yourself?"

Staring at nothing to be exact, Zabulus replied, "Because what existed before you, could all be a byproduct of your own soul holding up its own sanity, no matter its age and the countless wars, they were ultimately a product of your own making, if not, it is someone else's. Nothing but false."

"Everything is a result of your soul holding its own sanity. In other words, this was a condition based on the idea that there is no evidence of anything truly existing before you, there is nothing to prove the validity of life, existence, or consciousness."

"Haha, well if everything is so meaningless then let me give you an analogy. This analogy came from a great man once, by the name of Pugyum; he claimed his life is like a raindrop in a storm. Let me ask you this, what does a drop mean compared to the rain falling all around it?"

A quiet laugh broke out between the both of them. Zabulus remained seated in silence for some time until he suddenly looked up towards Laz, his tone turning serious, "The point isn't about everything's meaninglessness, is it? Because if I were to die at this very moment, there is no greater consequence for me and everything else will be gone. I am not the raindrop, I am the storm."

At this moment Laz noticed something terribly wrong with Zabulus, he wasn't listening anymore, rather, his whole head was facing a different angle; and it seemed like he wasn't seeing, more so listening to a third-person observer, except, his vision was aimed elsewhere, the direction of Alice. Laz followed his sight only to find that Alice had stopped and was staring at them both, a look of glee, and something akin to jealousy was on her face.

Before he could turn away however, Zabulus grabbed his wrist and spoke harshly in a whisper, "Make the lady stop fucking peeping or else I might just decide to turn this entire building into dust and dirt."

"Sure." And just as he said so, Alice averted her eyes away, as Zabulus released his hand and glanced at him momentarily, still looking at him like he'd just betrayed him, and to a degree, Laz guessed correctly that he indeed did.

Was it that bad, for Alice to keep looking at us like that? It couldn't be as bad, can it? No, not unless I get killed.

Their little chat had been abruptly disturbed, yet as usual, Laz tries to make it normal again, by moving around normally as though nothing happened. He was more uncertain in his movements and sometimes did unnecessary things, such as reaching out for stuff, putting his hand into certain pockets, opening closed doors without needing to, and sometimes picking up an item on the table he knew wasn't his own, placing it back down again, before sitting down next to Zabulus again where his legs started bouncing up and down rapidly, eyes darting everywhere like a crazy person who just escaped from an asylum and the very world they live in has become unfamiliar to him.

"Well that wasn't fun, at least we haven't reached a point where we begin speaking about whether or not humanity can even be saved. I fear I'd be called insane before we got to discuss the future. By now, everyone would've seen enough and declared my opinion wrong." Zabulus broke out into laughter, "Isn't that right?!"

He jolted his head towards Laz with his hands grabbing his collar as his eyes glued onto Laz, forcing his hand back before getting a tight grip on his arm, pulling it to his neck. "You know. You fucking piss me off, with that wise-man act of yours. I can tell the things in your head are filled up with more ideas than it has to offer."

Laz was helpless; being shorter in stature than Zabulus, he could barely even put up a struggle when being shoved back towards the wall. Yet in that short duration, he was able to register that, right below Zabulus's eyelid, the shape of what can be assumed as a tear or a piece of mud-looking substance has appeared. 

Tears of anger, Laz wondered if it really was a tear, then why isn't he sobbing or bawling his eyes out. Maybe it's just a single tear, mixed in with anger.

As for whatever made that tear happen, Laz couldn't even spare the second to think about it. He was deathly afraid of Zabulus now, and in the face of confrontation; in the face of conflict...

....drip....drip....drip....

Another noise is audible, causing Zabulus to let out a cough of shock before releasing his grip and retreating back.

The next time the drop landed, it became noticeable enough for anyone to take note; and soon it became more and more obvious where it came from as it fell with a foul scent.

...drip..

....drip...

A small circle formed and spread onto the wooden floor, before continuing its trajectory downwards, as a trail of liquid leaked all over... Laz.

In face of the fear of conflict, Laz, The Spiritual Medic, had urinated himself.

...drip...drip....drip..drip drip...

When Alice came, she didn't need any explanation why everything here felt different and even less so of why she suddenly had such an urge to leave, the sheer tension created by Zabulus could be felt from the back of the room. And the horrible smell that she grew accustomed to, one that managed to destroy that appetite of hers.

In an attempt to escape his gaze, Alice kept staring forward; away from his glare as she pretended to busy herself with something unrelated. Yet, every couple of seconds, she'd look over to where both men sat.

Alice was appalled, but that didn't currently matter to Zabulus.

"Listen closely to what I have to say. You must hear what I have to say...listen," he hissed at Laz. His grip tightening and relaxing every now and then as his eyes darted around everywhere. "We are all dreaming right now. We don't wake up because none of this is real. We live in a false world of our own making. You get that?"

"Huh? No... o-of course not? I know that I'm a coward but... I'm not mad," he stammered. He managed to utter in his surprise and fear.

A few moments of awkward silence ensued, and in those short moments, Laz understood perfectly everything Zabulus was saying. "Your life is that of a hero, a slave that makes money and has a purpose in life. There are others that try to prevent people from harm but your position isn't one who defends everyone. Instead, it protects, not them but themselves and no-one else."

Laz nodded, "And Alice's life is of..." A migraine hit him. He hissed and shook his head. "Hahhh... Hahhh... Mmm. You must...understand...she isn't real. She can't be here, yet she can't also be alive. Alice, Alice."

He whispered in the man's ear, "Everything you want to understand is just a dream. Don't wake up." He whispered that last bit slowly and softly.

What he wants? What Laz, The Spiritual Medic wants? Does he want her to be alive? Does he need her to be alive? Does being dead solve problems? Can a woman who'd given her heart away to others have any worth? Or is it the woman who constantly depletes human and animal lives like nothing? Does being alive change things for Laz, for him? Why would he go through this much trouble just because of a simple life. Why would he put others through this. He thought it wasn't possible to feel hatred and anger at a person or towards people themselves. But she did. And the same thing is happening to Alice now.

Why?

What the hell does she have that's special about her, so unique to the point no other has. Laz asked himself that as Zabulus explained everything to him, his entire body trembling. "You... You have a wife, but she's dead. And this will be your reason to continue." He explained to Laz as his Being was usurped, leaving only his ego free, an instinctive reaction from the depths of his soul that tried desperately to retain its control.

"It's all true. If she's dead she is gone. But not completely gone," He knocked on the wall behind Laz, "She's up here, in your head."

As this all unfolded in a matter of seconds, Alice, in her impulsive actions, decided to interrupt them for a split moment, stepping into their conversation and throwing all of her faith into it.

"Um... Zab...? I didn't intend on saying this but you're kinda losing your shit right now, maybe you need something stronger than tea."

She turned her back to leave as his stare intensified, focusing itself upon Alice and locking onto her figure. In a matter of seconds, the pair were practically glaring each other down. Zabulus spoke, voice growing quieter by the word, and hushed, "Sorry... I'm... what?" He looked at Laz's condition in shock. "Laz.. What? Are you okay?" He asked, genuinely.

Zabulus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, the last part he had spoken was directed towards the man. "I don't... I don't understand... This wasn't supposed to..."

And Laz responded, "Not supposed to... No. You're right. She's not alive..." Laz's face broke out into a grin, "Alice, we have to find my son."

"Your son? Laz, you don't have a son. And what does it even matter?!" She screamed at him, as his grin continued on as though he wasn't affected in the slightest.

"What is it? Come on, you can tell me!" She pushed Zabulus aside and got a hold of Laz's throat, staring him deep into his eyes and throwing all her feelings in, "Do it! Tell me what's going on!"

But alas, it was for naught, "If I can get him. Then... I could probably live long enough... So tell me,"

"Fuck off! Stop your bullshit, you're too pathetic for this Laz." In her right, he is being utterly disgusting. Even as Laz clutched her arm, she did nothing, just stared him dead straight in the eye.

"Did... did he do this to you?" She asked and glared at Zabulus, hoping she got her message across to Zabulus as well. Her voice wavered slightly, but somehow, it grew, "Did he... hurt you? Did he say something stupid to you? Laz..."

In a calm voice, the man replied, "No." Then it changed back into the one she'd gotten so used to, "He only showed me what's right. What's real. He showed me the truth." His face changed, turning into a wide-eyed, strained smile, while his forehead glistened. "And what's really scary about him is that it's hard to say that he's not."

Realisation. She was scared shitless, of the mere implication Zabulus did to Laz; her mind running wild with scenarios and possibilities and questions, with most of those involving things that just made her blood boil. She didn't hear anything of what Zabulus had told Laz, but she knew. Her friend was in there somewhere, she was confident that he was not harmed nor corrupted by anything that would result in this sudden personality change. However, with each passing minute, she feared for what Zabulus really wanted, with no guarantee or hope whatsoever that Zabulus can ever even be saved. Not to mention how terrified he was and is, and the amount of danger that's around the corner.

What was the last straw that finally broke the camel's back? She didn't know, but she sure as hell did feel responsible.

So as she stared deeply at Laz's face, wondering why would the man look at her like she's crazy? Or like she was possessed, it all just got her, she started tearing up. And a teardrop fell off her cheek onto Laz's shirt as she trembled. "Oh..." her words halted, "I'm sorry," her shoulders shook as the tears wouldn't stop coming, not until her voice broke.

Zabulus wanted to apologise, but he didn't want to interrupt them. This had gone on long enough, "We'll talk about what's happened tomorrow. I'll handle Laz, you go to sleep somewhere upstairs. Please." She gestured towards the stairs, "Please?"

He didn't say anything in return, only nodding curtly before following her request and left without a trace.

However, for what's good to have a man walk the path to oblivion and failure is that no matter how smart, how cunning a man may be, there will always come a time in every mortal man's life that they'll need a little bit of luck.

Such a state of mind can never truly be described without some degree of chaos. That very notion being at the root cause of one's own desire is utterly useless. It is a symptom rather than a cure. In its purest form, a symptom, being an external force which directly influences the behaviour, health, or physical ability of something; a reaction to one thing affecting another in a specific way or direction. In its worst form, a cure, one thing causing a positive effect. This is what one might say in the future, when a woman like Alice could cause something to affect the future of an entire country or even beyond that. The same woman, being the cause for many things that have been happening.

Fate was something to behold; even at its earliest stages. This fate could never have happened by coincidence. No matter how incredible or incomprehensible, it was nothing but a normal coincidence, for anyone else other than Zabulus.

Laz was just a normal, regular man who made regular, normal decisions and went through a regular, normal life. Until one day, he was caught in the crossfire of a minor incident, that escalated into an entire war. If we're talking in an omnipotent, omnipresence kind of scale, Laz was lucky, not only being caught in the crossfires, but also happening to be in an area that was unnoticeably easy to kill the most important people. The most critical and vital individuals who have an influence on the course of the war, whether for good or bad, but an individual like him was insignificant, almost non-existent in his land. An individual with no name, no title, no surname, no home, and no purpose other than survival. Just like a human, just like the majority.

He would disdain this description of a normal, normal ordinary and a regular man, he thought that normal should always mean a constant. Or was it the fact that Laz always made himself out as special, no-one could tell, except maybe the man himself. Maybe he was special because, in an odd sense, he felt obligated to do more than just survive, especially when he had nowhere to run or hide, and even though he knew where his destiny lied, he did what his instinct tells him. To be useful to humanity.

Perhaps, he was better at seeing others than himself and just took on those characteristics of his as being superior, thus, making his own worth go down and lower even.

Nevertheless, such thoughts didn't matter to him anymore; he was the one who, at the moment, had lost the fight. A mere speck of dust; insignificant and minuscule against the vast cosmos and endless universe. He knew that if there was such a concept as "luck", then, right at this moment, it could not have been a greater adversary than him, it could never be more unpredictable than him, nor more dangerous to those around. This was due to many reasons: the main ones being his status as a healer, his medical knowledge, and his inability to attack; and it's what made him such an annoyance to be around with.

Thus, why he was isolated in a cottage, away from all the cities and towns in Eskra, his only company being him and his former student. It's what caused him to become trapped in a situation he wouldn't have been able to deal with.

There is such a thing as being lucky, but it's impossible to use a blessing once it's used up. Maybe he used that luck when he met her, or maybe not, he'll never know. Not now nor in a thousand years' time. He would have known his worth at the end, for the woman who had made this event possible, a woman whom he sees as his own daughter, Alice. It is now she who must shoulder her duty. The duty of making the choices.

To act like a father figure, and protect and love her as any other normal father would. 

The days he heard her scream, loud, and full of terror, despair, rage, and fury. A cry that echoed in every direction, and no doubt, it would strike fear into anyone, man or beast alike.

Then the storm came and drowned them all in blood.

By her voice and hunger alone, her enemy would drown in her gluttony, the sea will quench her thirst with its dark depths, and then when their souls have reached the point of breaking, her words would echo from all directions, piercing everyone around, in a state that would surely cause madness to many. She wouldn't allow mercy, but only those with true strength would be spared from her.

Eventually, he would see the sunrise one more time and go back to where he came from, before the madness finally consumes him completely. That, being Zabulus himself.

"Please," Laz pleaded with his hands trembling, "please don't leave me."

"Huh...?" Alice hesitated before giving up her attempt and stopped moving. She didn't have the heart or guts to ignore or deny the pleading words of a man who is completely broken down, begging before her very eyes. Instead, she wanted to show him pity. Her knees dropped as she moved to embrace him, to show the kind of compassion, the sort of love he needed.

Love? That word hasn't escaped from his mouth for nearly as long as he remembers. Even he didn't quite understand his desire or meaning. Yet he felt it, for the first time in what feels like eons. It wasn't robbing him of his sanity, and it wasn't drowning him or even torturing his body. It didn't even seem unnatural or inhumane for him. It simply wasn't anything other than strange and perplexing, leaving him full of questions that still remained unanswered. But for those questions, Laz thought to himself that it was unnecessary and unimportant, now that he is in her presence. That there was no point to question this phenomenon, something that he now, as of this moment, had come to realise.

Laz let go of her reluctantly. The entire situation felt awkward. Usually, he wouldn't let anyone touch him and would pull back; but Alice had managed to prove him wrong on that assumption, it felt comforting, and like nothing had changed. For all of these things, he was glad she was here to remind him how much he'd missed this, having friends who wouldn't turn him against, feeling safe again.

"Uhhmmm," Alice murmured in embarrassment. "I didn't have you pegged down for an affectionate type,"

"Wh-what do you mean by that!?" He defended.

"Yea right. It's fine. I wouldn't dare ask," she turned and faced him, smiling wryly. "Yea it is pretty nice. Hugging. Thanks Laz... and, you're welcome." She turned and faced away as if she had wanted to keep everything a secret between them two alone. He understood.

Alice and he stayed silent in their spot, leaning into the wall. That lasted several minutes, before Laz spoke up in an exhausted voice, "Zabulus is a good man, alright? Just, be careful..."

The room was illuminated once more with light from her fire. He found Alice laughing, but that laugh turned quickly into a seriousness. "Haha," the laugh didn't sound genuine. "If you say so, Laz."

Snore. Laz was now snoring, having fallen asleep as Alice was laughing. Snore. His head dropped to his chest.

"Sleep well. Thank you," she spoke softly.

With a deep breath, she left the room. Walking up to where Zabulus was, she entered the attic, and in a low and serious tone, "We have… stuff to talk about..."