Drunk, Not Sober
Warning: This episode contains mentions of sexual assault. The author condemns any act of sexual violence. Any replication of the mentioned actions in any form in reality will lead to legal consequences. Please read the following for the sake of the plot.
"Stop right on your tracks, Manaav. Haven't you done enough breaking my heart? First, you made a bet with your stupid friends about us. Second, you forced yourself on me because... You know what. I need a break." I left the restaurant, taking only my cigarettes and lighter, and leaving my bag and cardigan behind.
The cool
Kriti came out of the restaurant too and stood beside me, picking a cigarette out from her pack. She came close and ignited it from my cigarette. Her cigarette had a sweeter smell than mine. She blew it out carelessly and asked, "Why did you guys break up? You never told anyone."
"You know that all first-year students have to go through some form of ragging, right? His task was dating one of his year girls. He, with his friends," I said, solemnly and continued," tried hitting on every girl until I said yes after 5 months. I found it cute and sincere back then."
I took another drag and continued, "Things were going great until one day, I was late to the library, I couldn't find my usual spot and sat on the floor, near the shelves. I didn't know that the next shelf was their usual hangout spot. I ended up eavesdropping on them unintentionally. They were betting on how low I would stoop for Manaav and whether I would ever give him a chance to have s**."
"That's so messed up," Kriti said with fists forming.
I chuckled and said, "I couldn't take it, and just packed my stuff and left from there. I don't know when they realised that I was there, but by the time I was near the exit, he grabbed my hand and tried to force a kiss. It felt so disgusting, so I slapped him hard and yanked my hand out. But he caught me again and kissed me and even tried to touch me. It was so disgusting. I pushed as hard as I could and ran. I ran until my breath gave away. I ended up texting a break-up message and ended the relationship. I was so into him. I just couldn't stop seeing the rosy version of him the whole time. I..."My voice faltered.
"I still feel like a weak, pathetic person that I am not. I hate that feeling," I said.
"You're not weak, " Kriti said," you're brave enough to tell me and manage all that. Does Siddharth know?"
"No," I affirmed her suspicion.
"When do you plan to tell?" She asked.
"Never," I replied.
"You have to, one day." She said.
"At least, it's not today," I replied.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Kriti asked gently.
"No, I'm not. I am not fine." The cigarette fell from my hand. Tears started to fall. I tried to wipe them, but in vain. They wouldn't stop falling.
Frustrated, I said, "Stop falling. Why won't my tears stop falling?"
Kriti hugged me, gently, softly wrapping me in a warm hug that I hadn't received in years. I cried like a baby, wailing miserably. She gently patted my back and soothed me. I felt like a child in her arms.
Slowly, the gin in the martinis started to take effect. I was drunk, not sober. I felt the warm fuzz and started to melt into her arms. She looked into my eyes and stubbed her cigarette on the wall and slowly, languidly kissed me. I could taste her cigarette and mint on her tongue. I trembled, and my legs wanted to give out, but Kriti held my back and stabilised me. I held onto her neck and ran my fingers through her soft, silky hair.
She stopped kissing, wrapped her leather jacket around me and said, "Wait here. I'll get your things. I'll drop you off at your apartment. You're a bit tipsy. It's unsafe for you to be here."
The feelings that I once buried back on orientation day started to come back like a whirlpool, and I knew instantly that I was up for something big in the future.