The Heart’s Dilemma

As evening fell, my cousins and I, including Jake, had gathered in Uncle Rick's room. The room was large enough to accommodate the four of them and had plenty of space to spare for us if we planned on spending the night with them. I think Grandpa has his favorites when it comes to why my uncle's room is so much bigger than my mother's bedroom and the rooms of their other siblings.

The adults were downstairs preparing dinner while we were upstairs having fun. Caroline introduced us to a card game called Rummy. We sat on the floor forming a circle, and Caroline patiently explained the rules. Once everyone, even the kids, grasped the concept, we started playing.

After a while, we grew bored of Rummy and decided to try another game called Slap. Since this game is still new to us, she walked us through the basics again. Mico, Caroline, and Robin played a few rounds to show us how it was done. Slap involves quick reflexes and hand slapping, which wasn't for everyone.

As we played, the game turned chaotic.

"Ouch!" Astrid cried out as her brother Oliver unintentionally slapped her hand instead of the card. Her hand was trapped between the floor and Oliver's hand. Astrid cried out in pain, but Oliver just laughed and shrugged it off, as teenagers often do. We decided to let Astrid take a break.

I was on a roll and had nearly collected all the cards. The tension was high as a new card was drawn from the deck, and I spotted an opportunity to slap it. With my eyes fixed on the card, I prepared my hands bursting with energy. I slapped down with all my might and as swiftly as I could.

"You're strong," Jake said with a teasing grin.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I apologized, feeling embarrassed. In my flustered state, I didn't realize I had grabbed Jake's hand and was blowing on it as if I were soothing a wound. When I looked around and saw everyone staring at me, I quickly let go and mumbled another apology. I guess I can be a bit too competitive sometimes.

Just as I was sinking deeper into my awkward moment, a lifeline arrived from downstairs.

"Time to eat!" my aunt's voice calling us out with perfect timing.

In a flash, we raced down the stairs like a pack of ravenous wolves. The thought of food turned our earlier embarrassment into a distant memory, as we charged toward the dining table like we hadn't eaten for days.

Footsteps echoed down the stairs as we burst into the dining room, where a feast awaited us. The table was laden with an assortment of dishes that immediately captured our attention, but my focus kept drifting back to Jake, who was now seated across from me.

Dinner was a lively affair, filled with the sounds of clinking cutlery and animated conversation. Yet, amidst the festive chaos, Jake and I exchanged glances that spoke volumes. I couldn't help but glance at him, trying to ignore the flush still lingering on my cheeks. Jake caught my eye and flashed a warm smile, his earlier teasing replaced with something softer, more genuine.

"You were really quick with that slap," Jake said, leaning in just enough for me to catch the soft, teasing edge in his voice. His proximity made my heart beat faster.

"Thanks," I replied, trying to sound casual despite my heart skipping a beat at his nearness as I tucked my hair behind my ear. "I guess I get a little too into the game. I can be pretty competitive."

Jake chuckled, his eyes sparkled with amusement. "I have to admit, you had me on my toes. I wasn't expecting such fierce competition."

I gave a shy smile, feeling a bit flustered. The silence between us was short-lived as soon as Jake filled the silence.

"Elizabeth, right?" he asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"Oh, I see the confusion, actually it's just Eliza. Caroline just likes calling me Elizabeth for some reason," I said, my cheeks warming slightly.

"Then can I call you 'Eli'?" Jake suggested with a playful grin, his gaze unwavering.

I tilted my head, considering. "I suppose you can, as a way to make up for hitting you that hard."

Jake laughed, his laugh bright and genuine, making me feel like the center of his attention. It was a sound that made my heart flutter. Our conversation flowed effortlessly from there. We swapped stories, laughed at inside jokes, and occasionally brushed against each other's hands as we reached for dishes. Each touch seemed to spark a connection that grew stronger with every shared smile and lingering glance.

After dinner, as the evening wore on, with the adults and kids sharing stories and jokes, and plates were cleared and the room settled into a more relaxed atmosphere, Jake slowly leaned over the table, his eyes locking with mine but then interrupted by Caroline who seemed to have another idea of a card game.

As we gathered to start a new game, an undercurrent of excitement rippled through the room. It felt as if this evening was more than just another family get-together; it was the beginning of something extraordinary, a spark that could ignite into something deeply beautiful. I glanced at Jake, drawn to him by an invisible thread of hope, my heart fluttering with each shared laugh and fleeting touch.

But then, reality crashed in. Caroline reached out and took Jake's hand, her fingers intertwining with his. She leaned her head gently against his shoulder. It was like a sudden, sharp twist in a novel I thought I understood. The sight hit me like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath from my lungs. My heart raced with a mix of pain and confusion. Caroline was my cousin, and Jake was her boyfriend. The realization hit me with a brutal clarity. I was falling for someone who was completely unavailable.

"This is wrong," I whispered to myself, my mind struggling to process the surge of emotions. I shook my head as if trying to physically dislodge the feelings that had developed. "What am I doing?" I thought, fighting against the tide of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. "Why am I feeling this way? It can't be."

As Caroline and Jake continued to interact, she kissed him on the cheeks in front of us.

"Ewwww!" Robin, Astrid, and Zed exclaimed in perfect unison; their faces contorted in playful disgust. You have to understand they were the youngest – still in primary school level.

Caroline, seizing the moment, decided to up the ante. With a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, she leaned in and showered Jake with even more exaggerated kisses. As their squeals of dismay reached a crescendo, she couldn't resist teasing them further and making their giggles mix with their earlier groans.

As the youngest kids scrunched their faces in disgust, my own emotions took a more painful turn. My heart ached with a deeper, more pitiful sadness. The warm smile I had worn while talking to Jake began to wither, fading into a melancholic shadow as I grappled with the unexpected truth. 

Jake, ever observant, quickly picked up on the subtle shift in my mood. With a gentle interruption, he pulled Caroline's playful advances to a halt. "Okay, that's enough, sweetie," he said, his voice tender as he pressed a soft kiss to Caroline's forehead. "Don't traumatize those kids," he added with a teasing smile.

Their show of affection felt like a cruel reminder of a connection that could never be mine. The warmth of his kiss and the easy affection he shared with Caroline struck a tragic chord within me. The connection I had imagined—a spark that could turn into something profound—now seemed like a mere mirage. At that moment, the excitement of the night faded into a somber reflection. My feelings were not just misplaced but utterly forbidden making the evening feel like a tragic play, where the characters I had hoped to entwine with were out of reach. What had started as a promise of new beginnings now felt like a bittersweet reminder of a love that could never be mine.