Chapter 4: A Quick Smoke

(Zephyr)

Fuck. My. Life.

What on earth came over me back there? It’s a good thing I managed to get out as soon as I could. Let’s hope she didn’t see my face turn beat red, as if that makes it any less embarrassing.

God. I just want to rest.

At this point even the pouring rain isn't bothering me, it started to feel a bit comforting after a while, made the loneliness a bit more bearable. One thing I know for sure is that my brother will be extremely annoyed with the fact I came back empty handed, "I sent you to do one thing" I can hear his voice ringing in my ear.

In all honesty, I never saw the point behind getting flowers in the first place, father never cared for them, brother probably used it as an excuse to send me away from the actual funeral planning (a tactical move I would stand behind) what difference was a bunch of rotting plants gonna make?

But… listening to her explain, the way she was talking, made me see things a completely different way. Never knew I was the type to be easily convinced, but here I am, regretting walking out so fast, without grabbing anything, without talking to her a bit more.

It's just that I still haven't really spoken the words "father’s dead" not out loud, not even to myself, I’ve pushed the thought to the deepest depths of my mind.

Although I've been holding up well for these past few days, it's because I still couldn't grasp the idea that it was true. I thought if I ignored it, it could be undone, somehow, he would come back, but my father is truly gone, and having to admit it is what finally broke me, in front of a whole stranger, which was great.

"I got you" her whisper still rings in my ear, my body shivers whenever I hear it, and I feel the flush in my cheeks grow stronger. How could I be so careless? I doubt she even knew who I was.

I haven't had any of those breakdowns ever since father took me in, he was the only thing holding me together, but she managed to comfort me, as if she was exactly what I needed, and that made me feel sick. Well luckily, I’ll never have to see her ever again, I doubt this line of business will be bringing me to any more flower shops.

I pull out my phone and text my brother "not coming home tonight, see you at the funeral" before turning it off, as I walk aimlessly into the night unable to form a single coherent thought.

.

A funeral without flowers. Dad would've hated them anyways, my "final message" to him could be this, giving him a funeral he'd actually like. I really need to get her words out of my head.

Before they lower the casket, and after my mother and siblings say their goodbyes, it was my turn.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him, the man who danced with death on the daily, had now finished the final tune, still I didn't cry, not like I did last night.

I kiss his cold forehead twice, ‘a double headshot’ he used to call it when I was a child, and I walk away to my mother, who was waiting for me with open arms, allowing me to sink into her warm embrace. We stand together as my dad is offered to the eternal darkness, knowing this is just the beginning.

.

"What is wrong with you?!" my brother Andre slams his hands on the desk "I sent you to do one thing. One. Thing. Just bring some flowers, and what did you do? Disappear for the whole night, and only show up to the funeral in the same clothes as yesterday, don't you at least have some respect for your father?"

"I don't think he's really that bothered about it right now"

And a stapler is dashed at my head. Tough crowd.

"Get out"

"But you're the one who told me to come in the first place-"

"Out."

I slam the door behind me, making my mother who was passing through the hallway flinch.

I took a deep breath to calm down "Everything alright with you mom?"

"Yeah, just going to have a quick smoke"

"Can I come with?"

"Sure. Just don't tell your dad” She chuckles. (See, she gets it)

We sit at the rooftop with our feet dangling. My mom told the family she quit smoking years ago, I'm the only one who knows about this. We sneak out every now and then for a puff, our little secret.

"Take it easy on your brother, especially during this time, you know how he is" she says while lighting her cigarette.

"No matter what I do I'll never be enough for him, so I just stopped trying, makes life easier, well, for me at least. To him I'll always be the orphan boy dad liked because he can throw a punch, between the five of us I'm the least dependable, they probably all even think it's a waste that I get a share of the inheritance"

"Don't you dare say that." She sounded genuinely shocked "Your father picked each and every one of you for a reason, and ever since the day you were brought here, you have been a family, we have been a family." She takes her hand in mine "I'm sure your father is proud of you all, because I know I am"

I don't say anything, we both know I don't have to. I just rest my head on hers and we gaze upon the starts through a cloud of smoke.

After a while my phone buzzes.

"They're having a meeting, it's an emergency"

"You better go then"

I take one last puff and squash the cigarette under my foot. Kiss the top of mother’s head and start to climb down.

Time for business.

.

It was me, my two brothers and two sisters.

Andre steps up "I just got news that one of our employees here was a traitor, yesterday he took advantage of the funeral preparations to steal a very important document when everyone was preoccupied and fled, he was severely injured by one of the guards so there's a slim chance he survived, but now our top priority is to find who he gave it to, and make sure it’s back, if that file got into the hands of our enemies, it could do unbelievable damage to everything our father worked so hard for"

"We'll start by investigating his background, who he might be working for" said Alicia and Christie, without missing a beat.

"I'll look into who would be wanting that kind of information at the moment, and willing to pay for it" offered Basilio.

Andre gives them a nod before they get to work. He then turns his attention to me, raising an eyebrow.

"And I'll…go get some sleep"