Sleep

(Baelon's POV)

"You are not sleeping yet?" I asked Rhaenyra as she sat in her couch, "It is late..." 

She was reading a book, similar to the night before. There was a single candle lit on the table next to her, illuminating the pages in front of her. 

"N-No..." She said, "I could not sleep....." 

I walked over and sat on the couch next to her, "I see...." 

"And you?" She asked, "You still have trouble resting? You seem better...." 

"Is that so?" I asked

She reached over and patted my cheek, "Hm...." She said, "You do not look that stressed anymore....I am glad...." 

Her touch felt....nice.....

I didn't react to it, I merely stared in front of me. I did not immediately pull away which was surprising, I let her touch me. 

I looked at her, "I feel....better, I think..." I said, "I suppose....I think the guilt is passing...." 

"The guilt...." She said as she looked down, "Right....what we did....." 

"I am sorry for doing that, Rhaenyra...." I said, "I put you in an unwanted situation....I was...." 

"You were stressed, tired, and pent-up....I understand..." She said before pulling her hand away, "Do not worry, Baelon. It is fine...." 

"I felt bad....for the both of you." I said with a sigh, "I forced myself onto-" 

"No, you did not." She said, "If I had said been firmer with my no, you would have stopped. I wanted it....I wanted you at that moment..." 

"Stop trying to take the blame onto yourself." I said, "We both know that-" 

"Just shut up." She said, "I will not have you think of yourself as something you are not. So do us both a favor and stop speaking." 

I looked at her, "Hm...." I said, "Fine..." 

She closed the book and set it on the table next to her, moving the candle away from it. She looked quite pretty tonight, the light of said candle illuminating her beautiful hair. 

"Rhaenyra...." I started

She had set the candle further away from the book, "Hm?" 

"I am sorry." I said

"For what?" She asked as she looked at me

"Treating you the way I did." I told her, "I...." 

"Let us not speak of that." She said as she leaned back, "Please." 

"Very well..." I said as I looked ahead

There was a bit of an awkward moment of silence, I simply stared into the distance, trying to find something else to say. 

"Do you want to sleep together?" I asked suddenly, without looking at her

"Eh?" She asked

I looked at her, "Helaena said something about taking turns." I told her, "She knows I do not sleep until much later than her recently, so she wants me to sleep in your bed tonight. I have been sleeping in my bed lately because I do not want to disturb her rest." 

"A-And you want to sleep in mine?" She asked

"Truthfully, I do not know what I want." I said, "But this is what she wants....unless you do not want it....I am fine with it." 

".....Sleep....?" She asked with a raised eyebrow

I nodded, "Sleep." 

"Are you certain?" She asked 

"Yes." I said simply

She sighed and stood up, "Well...." She said, "Come, then. I am already tired." 

"O-Oh, already?" I asked

She looked at me and nodded, "Yes." She said while offering me her hand, "Let's go." 

I took her hand and stood up, being pulled by her as we walked to her bed. I then stood behind as she crawled into it while moving the sheets aside. She then laid down and adjusted the pillow, patting the spot next to her after she did so. 

I stood there, looking at the empty spot, "I....Uh..." I started, "I do not know...." 

"You hesitate? Now?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, "Do not be afraid, Baelon. This is not new to you. You constantly did this as a child." 

"That is different." I said, "I was a child." 

"I know." She said, "But now, you are my husband. Now come." 

I sighed, "Fine." 

I got on the bed and laid next to her as she adjusted the pillow for me. 

"There you go. Was is that hard?" She asked me

"It is more difficult than you could comprehend." I told her

"I understand, I do." She said, "But....we should not let our hesitance hold us back. Helaena is right, we should all move on." 

"It is not that easy." I said as I laid my head on the pillow

The two of us laid together, facing each other. It was different, strange, and very unnerving. I did not know how to feel about this. Rhaenyra was much smaller than I remember, back when I used to sleep with her. 

I did not want to think about that now, it was wrong. It is obvious that I grew taller than her and she probably did not want to be reminded of it. 

I know I did not. 

"Is something on your mind?" Rhaenyra asked me, "Do you wish to say something? I do not ask sarcastically....I mean it...." 

"I..." I said softly, "No...." 

"You lie." She said with a frown, "Why?" 

"I am not going to worry you.....either of you...." I said 

She inched closer, "Baelon..." She said, "You may look better than you used to...but you still seem tired...just close your eyes and sleep, alright?" 

"I..." I said

She patted my cheek, "I am here for you." 

"That's not fair, Rhaenyra." I said with a serious frown

"What?" She asked

"After everything you have been through, you will be here for me? Me?" I said with a frown, "That's not fair to you....I cannot do that to you...." 

"Baelon...." She said

I sat up, "N-No, I cannot do this." 

I was about to get out of bed when she wrapped her arms around me, "Don't leave me..." She said softly, "Please...." 

I stopped completely, feeling her arms around me, embracing me tightly. She pressed herself against me. 

"I finally have you, Baelon..." She said softly, "I am sorry, I do not wish to make this any more difficult.....please....just....lay down with me....." 

I nodded, "R-Right...." 

I turned around slowly and laid back down as she looked at me. 

"I am so sorry...." She said softly

"No, it is fine..." I said, "I....It just wounds me to think about what has happened to you....it not only wounds my heart....it angers me, Rhaenyra....I am so sorry for everything...." 

She had a bit of tears in her eyes but despite that, she smiled, "I do not care....not now at least...." She said, "I just want to be with you...." 

"I...." I said, "I am trying, Rhaenyra...." 

"I know." She said, "And I will try as well, to not be a burden to the both of you. I know Helaena does this for me....because of what happened...." 

I patted her cheek, "You look beautiful tonight." I told her suddenly, "I love your hair....." 

She looked at me with surprise, "What...?" 

I smiled slightly, "I wanted to take our mind off the bad things." I told her, "We should just...we should just go to sleep." 

"I understand the guilt...." She said with a smile, "This feels so good.....it feels right...but wrong....and Helaena is not part of this...." 

"I know...." I said, "But we are just sleeping...." 

"Right..." She said, "Just sleeping...." 

"Mhm..." I said as my eyes began to get heavy

She pressed herself tightly against me, pulling my face towards her chest, "Baelon...my Baelon....." She said softly as she rubbed my hair, "I want you to know...." 

"K-Know....what...?" I said softly as I felt the sleep rapidly creeping up on me

"I love you." She said to my ear, "I will cherish you forever....as I will Helaena....Thank you....for everything....for fighting for me....." 

"Right...." I said, "I have always cared for you, Rhaenyra....." 

"I know..." She said as she hugged me, "I love you so much....so much that even now, my heart feels so heavy.....You are in my arms now.....Gods.....I love you...." 

"Say that one more time and I will kiss you." I joked 

"I will take that offer." She chuckled

"Let us go to sleep...w-wife..." I said 

"Fine...." she said, "Just sleep....." 

"Let us sleep...."