Hiding his pain

"How is the Luna? Ghod asked Kara as he came out for breakfast, planning to grab a sandwich and leave immediately, intending to avoid Helena as much as possible—she was also avoiding him. He had walked to the dining table, noting her absence again.

He looked at Kara Helena's maid, and asked, " Has she eaten anything today? Is she doing better?"

"Alpha, she has yet to wake this morning," Kara answered sadly. "I left her to get some more rest as she has been finding it hard to sleep."

Ghod ran his hands through his hair, his frustration evident, as he picked up the sandwich and walked out of the dining area with bitterness in his heart.

He stood on the edge of the training grounds; his eyes fixated on the view before him. The sun had barely begun to rise, and the atmosphere was filled with the scent of dew and earth—a reminder of the cycle of life and death. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the hurt within him.

Helena had been distant lately, and he knew why. His mind drifted back to the moment he had learned about her pregnancy.

The look on her face, a mix of fear and hurt, was etched into his memory. But the joy he should have felt was overshadowed by crushing guilt when the miscarriage was announced.

He had been unfaithful, and worse, he had brought Meliana into their home, shattering the sanctuary that should have been Acantha's refuge.

He was the reason his child was dead. He had brought the source of his child's death into their home.

Ghod closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his past mistakes pressing down on him. Meliana—the name itself was a bitter pill. He recalled the day she had told him about her abortion, the cold note in her voice.

He had lost a child then, too, a piece of himself, and now it seemed he was losing another. Each memory felt like a reminder of his failures. He felt cursed, like a dark cloud followed him, destroying or killing everything he touched.

He opened his eyes, focusing on the present. The soldiers were gathering, their faces set with purpose. They had no idea of the battles he fought within himself. To them, he was just their leader, the Alpha, a symbol of strength and authority. He had to keep it that way. The pack needed him to be strong, especially now.

"Form up!" Ghod 's voice rang out, commanding. The soldiers snapped to attention, their movements crisp and precise.

He began the drill, pushing them harder than ever before. They needed to be ready, to be stronger, to be better. And so did he.

Ghod 's relentless training sessions became the new norm as the days turned into weeks. He drove the soldiers to their limits, sparing no one from his exacting standards.

The physical exertion was a welcome distraction from the emotional pain that gnawed at him. Each drop of sweat and grunt of effort fulfilled his plan to be better and do better.

Next morning, as the first rays of sunlight came up through the clouds, Ghod stood before his warriors. His gaze swept over them, noting their fatigue, their determination. They were a reflection of his inner worries. He stepped forward, his voice steady and commanding.

"Today, we push harder. We cannot afford weakness. We are the shield that protects this pack, and we must be unbreakable."

The soldiers nodded, their eyes burning with a mix of exhaustion.

They began the drills, their movements synchronized, their breaths heavy. Ghod moved among them, correcting stances, pushing them to give and be more.

Amid the training, he saw one soldier standing at the edge of the field. She was watching him, her expression unreadable. He felt a pang of pity for the lady soldier, and he asked her to take a break.

"Thank you, Alpha ", she whispered gratefully.

The soldiers near her looked up at him in anticipation, hoping he would ask them to take a break.

But disappointment etched their faces as he shouted. "Double up." Put your back into it."

Ghod forced himself to focus on the task, ignore their pain, and bury the pain and guilt deep within. He couldn't afford to falter, not now.

The pack depended on him, and he wouldn't let them down.

As the session drew to a close, Ghod dismissed the soldiers, watching as they dispersed, their shoulders sagging with exhaustion.

He turned to Mali, his topmost soldier, "Get my armor and clean them."

Mali nodded and went to clean the armor.

Ghod Walked along the field and struggled to find the right words to use to apologize to Helena, the apologies that seemed so inadequate in the face of his betrayals.

"I'm sorry, Acantha," he said finally to himself, his voice barely above a whisper. "For everything. For Meliana, for the distance between us. For the child we lost."

"I've made so many mistakes," he said, his voice cracking. "I feel like I'm cursed, like everything I touch turns ash."

He stood there, the weight of guilt and regret pressing down on him, threatening to crush him.

He forgot about his apologies and went back to the mansion.

Days passed, each one into the next, with a series of training and exhaustion. Ghod threw himself into his duties, hoping to find some semblance of peace in the routine. But the pain remained of the life he had shattered.

Ghod stood at the forest's edge one evening as the sun dipped below the horizon. He closed his eyes, the surrounding him. He felt a presence behind him and turned to see one of his soldiers, Mali.

"Alpha," Mali said, his voice hesitant, "we're worried about you."

Ghod forced a smile, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine, Mali. Just a lot on my mind."

Mali nodded, though his eyes were filled with concern. "We all have our battles, Alpha. But you don't have to fight yours alone."

Ghod 's smile faded, the sincerity in Mali's words, reaching his heart and breaking down his defenses.

"Thank you, Mali. I'll keep that in mind."

As Mali walked away, Ghod felt Better, Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought. Maybe there was a way to mend the broken pieces of his life.

The next morning, Ghod stood before his warriors again, his resolve hardening. He would not let his past define him.

He would prepare for his Pack, Helena, and the future he still hoped to build.

"Today," he announced, his voice strong and unwavering, "we train harder than ever. Not just for ourselves but for each other. We are a pack, and we will stand together no matter what comes."

The soldiers responded with a roar of approval, their unity a beacon of hope in the darkness. Ghod called Mali out, "Can you get my armor?"

Mali quickly went. Ghod picked two soldiers to battle with the sword as the other soldiers cheered for their favorite fighters.