BlackGuyInnaBowtie

Just more old journal entries of mine, but this time things are a bit more...weighty? Complicated? 
These journals were written 12 years after those of Volume 1! 
Let us cringe a little more.
Maybe a little less?
Looking back now, I wasn't that naive...was I?

*Names will be omitted and replaced with "XXXXX" in order to keep some semblance of privacy.*

Old Journals of a Millennial. Volume 2.

I've always had this weird thing happen to me all the time -even in these modern days- that I call "The life spiral"

My life seems to work in these strange spirals.

1. I attended the Boy's and Girl's Club as a kid/I worked there as an adult.

2. I went to C.H.B. for summer camp as a kid/ I worked there as an adult.

3. When I became a Teacher, one of the first jobs I held was for my old Principal! I can't tell you how uncanny it was to attend staff meetings alongside coworkers who used to be MY Teachers when I was a kid and attending THEIR school.

I wonder how they felt conversely.

I could go on with many more examples of things that looped back around on me like that in my 35 -at the time of writing- years of life, but you all aren't here for that.

Shit, I am sure young me wrote about quite a few.

January 18th. 2012.

I think I might finish school here...

Mayhap with a new teacher this all will work out for me.

I seen the child...it bothers me that it wasn't an awe-inspiring moment like I would have liked it to be.

But mayhap we WILL make this work.

Mayhap one day we will be together.

But if NOT I will still be the best father I can be.

I remember the first 3/4 months of pre-med school being so very unbearable due to one Professor in particular of mine.

I can't recall what her name was -wouldn't post it if I did- but man was she a bi---

She was a very BITTER woman for lort knows what reason, and she made me and many of my peers want to call it quits quite a few times.

She didn't last very long, thank god.

I would never wish joblessness on anyone, but if you don't like what you are doing, do the world a favor and just leave.

I know it's easier said than done, but it's also very unfair to the people around you who have to deal with your insufferable attitude and excessive emotional funk all day.

Be like the guy who posts his old journals online for people to read and instantly regret due to the sheer amount of cringe -and probably typos- that permeated their lovely screens and not to mention the rambling writing style that is too close to the voice in his head that tends to speak in run-on sentences...

Well...no one likes him either lol.

But at least what he bleeds all over the world isn't passively toxic and full of unwarranted and poorly handled anger.

I had a strange, sickening, and growing feeling in the back of my mind that something was not adding up, so I began to withdraw from the young lady and simply embrace the idea of being a father. I did see myself trying to work things out with her, but she would go on to make things a lot harder than they would ever have had to be.

The entries to come will paint that picture clearly enough, I am sure.

Chapter 13. "Awe-inspiring."