Chapter 44. "Good and bad."

There would be times when I would go weeks without writing anything in my old journal.

I do regret those times, you know?

More now than ever.

I think that a part of me really needed young me to hold onto these journals of mine. 

And to actually write more frequently than I did. 

Conversely, I am one who believes that everything happens for a reason. Good and bad. 

I wasn't meant to have them here and now.

That is why young me put them to the flame.

He knew what I couldn't.

He lived and experienced what I shouldn't remember...

I have a lot of stories, and they will pop out with time. But to have those old journals...man, oh man.

Such is life.

Life is random, yes?

But even in that randomicity, there are patterns and such, you know? 

I obviously held onto a few specific journals for a reason.

Maybe that reason just happens to be THIS little series of mine.

Maybe you all were meant to stumble across this and give it a go.

Or maybe this is all just as random as everything else?

Maybe I am just crazy.

Don't let my rambling keep you lol.

I will leave you to what you came for. 

Enjoy. 

-----

June 18th, 2012.

Journal #044.

-----

It's been an interesting few weeks...

We have finally moved to the new house.

It's pretty cool. 

No rent means saving a lot is my hope, although I am the only one who seems to be paying the SAME amount...

Hmm.

So, work is going fine. 

Myself and XXXXX as well!

I love her so much.

She learned magic lol.

Hmm.

-----

-I rented a room for a while with an old friend of mine and her husband.

Remember that young lady that I was madly in love with back in Volume 1?

Wha...what do you mean? "Which one?" 

...

Fair enough.

No, no.

This was THE one lol.

That one that young me had thought would be the one and only girl for me lol.

Lort, have merbies.

We had been friends since fourth grade, and in my time of need, she and her husband had offered me a place to stay.

Another story for another time lol.

It was her husband's father's house, and he had done us a favor by letting us live there rent-free for a while, as the house was paid off and all but abandoned.

With a bit of cleaning and a few repairs, the house was made quite livable, and we had moved in just as soon as we were allowed to. 

I was still forking over money for quite some time, as is normal when you rent a room, but I had a weird feeling that I really had no idea what I was paying for. I was just grateful to have a place to stay. 

-If my timing is right, I believe that I was working for the Boy's and Girl's Club at that time, and I was pretty happy with that job. Those kids meant the world to me, and they also filled the hole within me that was my perpetual baby fever. 

I also worked for Marshal's and Michaels lol. Two very interesting places to hold employment, and two more stories for the next installment!

-As for that "XXXXX"?

The very same Librarian lol. I was so far lost by this point that you could have told me that she was just stringing me along for spare parts, and I would have not cared less.

I was so very deeply enthralled by her looks, her personality, her charm, her humor.

Her everything.

I tell you, I had no memory of what it was like to be in pain...

In any way, shape, or form.

It was the strangest, deepest, heaviest, most captivating sort of love.

It was something that I had never experienced up to that point, and I was eating it up.

For the few weeks that it felt that way...

Despite my fears and walls and defenses, I let her right in.

The "Honeymoon phase." is a real thing lmao.

If you have made it this far in this Volume, you have to know what I mean.

It would be quite the summer I tell you.

A summer of...

Nope.

No spoilers.

-I play Magic The Gathering lol, I taught myself to via YouTube video back in the day, just months after I had created my first Facebook account after my friends finally convinced me to leave Myspace.

A choice that I regret to this day.

I you know, you know.

Anyway, I taught her and her children how to play, as well as my God brother/Best friend.

It was good times! More stories for another time, you have my word.

I will see you all back here for the next thrilling installment!

Thank you for sticking around, it's been fun.

I mean it.

Looking back has been pretty helpful as of late...weird in many ways, but helpful.

Growth is important.

Realizing where you went wrong, and how those things changed you is even more important.

Work on yourself, people.

Life will be that much easier if you do. 

See you soon folks.

-Redd.