01: To Understand Better

"We're through." Those were the very last words I heard from the girl I only recently dated after the end of highschool."Fucking hell." I muttered to myself as I look up the ceiling in my bedroom filled with game consoles and mangas I've collected that are at my bookshelves."Argh! Who cares, right? HA! I don't need a woman in my life! Am gonna enjoy my life and you're not invited woman, you'll regret that you ever left me!""..." I stare back to the screen without really seeing what's on screen, my mind jumbled as I softly mutter."I don't.. I don't need.. "I drop my head back down to the keyboard with a loud thud without a care as tears just fall out of nowhere."..." Without control, I look down and sob harshly, loud enough for the neighbors next door to hear and bang against the wall on the other side."Damn it, I'll show her!"Just remembering her last words after walking out the relationship makes me frown and feel my heart get pulled."We're through.""Why?""You just don't know how to treat a girl.""But, can't you just tell me so I can- I don't know, improve?""Tch.""Eh?""You just REALLY don't get it!" She storms out right then and there, and all I could think to myself was.How am I supposed to figure out how a girl thinks when they won't even allow me to understand it properly?"It's not like I can read minds.." I said, still feeling bitter and annoyed that the first girlfriend I ever had, just decides to dump me after I lack the knowledge on how to be a good partner for her.It's truly unfair."How does one even try--" I look back to my screen and there I look at the visual novel games I've been playing.It's all horror and psychological thriller.I sigh and crossed my arms as I ponder."Hold on.. maybe I should.. try a dating visual novel.. there's a lot of those, right? Hmmm, let's see.."As I scroll around the list within the website I usually check on, I can only see a bunch of dating visual novel genre that's directed for the male audience."Hmm.. but, if I just get a random one, it wouldn't really be helping me understand. Not all the female characters for a male audience novel game would be good." I tell to myself and continue scrolling."Hm?" There my eyes land on something that has peaked my interest."Heroine's Demise?" I read the title of the visual novel, only to find it for the female audience type.With that in front of me, a smile spreads across my face."Yeah, I think something like this. Hm? What the?"I looked further into the game, not finding much information aside from it being a dating visual novel genre."There's not even a single review. Huh.. maybe it's new?" I mumbled to myself, trying to find any updates or dates within the page of the game, but all it says are; "All male leads will try to win the heroine's heart, but not all of them will give her a happy ending. Will you be able to help her escape her demise and live a happy ending?"Seconds passed by and though I was full of skeptism, I decided to download the game since it's free anyway."Heh, it can't be a virus anyway since it's in the store itself. " I say as I reassure myself.With a click, I wait for the download to finish by simply looking at my screen."... Maybe this is a stupid idea, or just an impulsive decision. " I say to myself, my head suddenly being filled with self doubt and questions to why I would choose to try a dating visual novel.It's not that I look down on them, but.. I guess it's really unlike me."One break up can really change a man." With a playful mockery to myself, I mutter to myself. "Yare, yare daze.""..." Time flew by.Once the game was done downloading, I immediately went on ahead to check it for myself."Heroine's Demise. Huh? Woah, the heroine looks extremely different from your typical heroine." I say, wishing I could praise the creator for a different generic main character.She has her black hair with purple shading at the back, heterochromatic eyes that are purple and silver and fair skin."Kinda feels goth." I mutter as I proceed to press 'play' and was immediately met with vibrant and pretty flowery colors."Yup, it's for female players alright." I say as I look at the characters."Raven Lunaire, a new exchange student that will rile up everyone's hearts. 19. Heroine.""Oh, so this is like.. last year high schoolers." I mutter to myself as I continue to watch the intro for all characters."Nomase Rosenberg, principal's son that is introverted but loved by all. 20. Love interest.""Huh, so he's like the quiet dude that most girls would find mysterious." I say as I look at his piercing curly red hair, blue eyes and fair skin."Axel Slyvius, model student that is famous throughout the whole school and many art competitions. 21. Love interest.""Ooh, he seems like the wisest choice so far. Talented and popular." I look at the character's model, seeing his green hair and emerald green eyes. His skin is kinda fair, but slightly tanned."Eugene Cross, mainly known for being a bad boy and has an interest with the heroine. 22. Love interest.""Yeeeshh.. not sure if I would let the female lead be with this guy but, he's a clear love interest too, so.. maybe he won't be so bad. He's like those.. tsunderes, right?" I assume as I observe the male character's black hair, red eyes, sharp teeth and fair skin."Rogue Fox, childhood friend that converts to delinquency. 20. Love interest.""Heh, delinquent childhood friend? That's.. something." I say as I look at his long black hair that's over his shoulder, violet eyes, shark-like teeth and tanned skin.It definitely took me about half a day while I'm locked in my apartment alone, just trying the game for myself."What the hell is this game?? Is it this easy to be a girl?"I say outloud as I start to feel dumbfounded."All the male love interests raise their paremeter easily. Damn, maybe I'm just really that great of a charmer, huh?""Axel: Raven, I don't want anyone else talking to you. So.. will you please choose me?""Woah, what again? Erhm.. I like that they are all in love with the heroine at every turn but .. the love interest I'm targeting isn't getting the points at all."It was a strange play to say the least, but perhaps the game design was centered on having to be devoted and loyal, so I continued ignoring the other male love interests."A. I'm sorry, but my heart belongs to another."

"B. If you'll have me.."

"C. No, please leave me alone."

"D. I don't know you all that well, but we could try?"

I chose C."Axel: Haha, of course you would say no. But.. that's fine, I'll make sure I win your heart one day. ""Stubborn guy.. I take it back, he isn't decent at all when you try to reject him." I say as I continue the run.But, a few hours passed and I grew annoyed and frustrated."What the hell? Bad ending for not getting points at all? But, I stayed focus on the target? " I said, perhaps I was impatient but the fact of the matter is, the supposedly easy options of using the logic of being ignorant, just made Raven meet her demise of not being reciprocated.The bad ending shows Raven being humiliated I'm front of everyone for having a crush on the target."Maybe I'll try Axel this time.. " I mutter as I decide to start a new run.Yet, after a few hours later, it was the same conclusion."HUHHHH??? WHY?! " I yelled, annoyed."I chose all the options that would benefit that green idiot! Now, he finds the heroine too desperate?! What the hell is this game?!"I decide to take a moment to breath and click onto a new game again."... Let's keep trying. " I told myself as I spent countless times, trying different routes."Emi: It's okay! I'm sure things will work out between you and him!""A. How do I win his heart?"

"B. Who are you talking about?"

"C. I don't think I can."

"D. I don't want to give up, help me! "

"It's always this same direction when I'm about to reach the bad ending.. the heroine's best friend Emi would be optimistic for them."I sigh and clench my fists as I look down the keyboard."Dude.. I can't believe I spent so much time just doing this. This feels hopeless.. do I really suck this bad in trying to understand how a girl feels?"I scoff and click onto the D option hesitantly.After a few slides again, it led to the same written words.'Bad Ending.'I rest my hands onto my arms as I sigh tirelessly."... I can't make my own girlfriend happy, and now.. I can't even give this heroine the happy ending she deserves. What kind of luck is this? This is so stupid to feel upset about.. so.. stupid."With a heavy heart, the inner turmoil I tried to ignore finally sinks in.I felt stupid and annoyed at how simple minded I could be.I close my eyes as I let my body rest, yet my mind continues to wander."I wanna fix things.""I wanna be able to do better.""... I wish I can understand her better.""I wish I can understand how to make a girl happy.""..."I drift into a deep sleep, so sleep that I no longer hear anything else.Not my PC on.Not my loud AC on my wall.Not my own mind."... KRIIINGG!" I groaned in annoyance as I kick off the blanket on me and grab the phone to the side of the table and swipe it to stop.I can't believe my alarm changed to something so loud.I should probably fix the settings later.Right now, I wanna sleep more."KRIIINGGG!!" A second alarm rings, leaving me annoyed as I assumed I probably ended up letting it snooze instead."Stupid, stupid..!" I mentally cursed as I try to use my hand to feel where the phone is again."RAGH-!!" I yell in frustration as I grabbed onto the phone again and threw it across the room."...""Raa..?" I touch my throat as I realized how weird my voice sounds, it's almost like a young woman's voice that's higher and boyish and within a few moments later, I see the unfamiliar bedroom I'm in.It's tidy and ordinary.But something about it feels off."I suddenly have a bad feeling about this." I felt my heart skip a beat as I speak again."Voice.. my voice.."Curiosity and uncertainty rains down upon me and I turn to the mirror I see close by, scooching to take a glance.And there I froze.A long blonde haired girl with pink flowery eyes wearing pink pajamas."WHO.. WHO?!"I panic and fall off my bed in fear, and then I sit up again and look at the body I'm occupying."Huh?"It's not just a stranger.I became the stranger.I'm strange!No, that doesn't sound right, no.. none of this is right.I look at my fair skin, small slender hands and my whole body in general, taking in this unrealistic appearance.I gulped nervously."What dream is this.." I look at the mirror once again and then to my chest area.My cheeks start to feel red and without hesitation, I immediately hold onto it.'Curses. It's flat as a board.'I smile in defeat and look at the mirror.'But she's really pretty, hmm.. why does she feel familiar though?'I look up and down then between my legs."... This is great and all but.. why make me a girl? I rather have a dream of a pretty girl next to me. My brain sure has a few screws after a break up. Ah, is it because I wished to understand girls better?"I chuckle."Alright--! I think that's enough for now. I've had enough of this, let's wake up."I shut my eyes closed and try to mentally wake myself up."..."I kept it closed, but when I open my eyes again.I still see the female in front of the mirror.TO BE CONTINUED