Chapter 3

I woke up and there was snow on the ground. The aroma in the air was sweet. The stockings on the staircase railing were filled to their brims. The presents were stacked neatly under the tree. They were separated as to not confuse my gifts with Melanie's. I entered the kitchen and, to what was no surprise, I found mom cooking. "Good morning, mom." I say, still tired. "Morning, Wes." She retorts. "What's wrong? It's Christmas. Where's all the joy?" I ask. "Sit. The food is done." She dodges my question. "Mom, what's wro-" I couldn't finish my sentence. She cut me off. "Your father will no longer be in family photos, Weston. Now sit down." She says. "What do you mean?" I say. "He died, Weston. Your father died. At 2:36 a.m. on the morning of December 25th your father died." Mom broke down into tears. Usually I'd want to say I thought mom was joking, or that it was a trick. It was obvious to me, though, that this wasn't a joke. It wasn't a trick. My mom was crying genuine tears. My father genuinely passed away. Instantly, I felt the tears as they began to soak my vision. I wiped them away, but more came. I wiped them too. I took a deep breath. "Kay." I say as I walk out of the kitchen. I climbed up the stairs and opened the window at the end of the hall. I crawled out and sat on my roof, planting myself firmly in the snow. I began to sob. I had so many questions. How did my dad die? Did anyone else pass away? Why did it have to be him? My head was racing and my vision was blurry. I tried to calm down but it was to no evail. I began to scream, yelling curse words into the sky. I grabbed a piece of snow and chucked it as far as I could. I cried on that roof for what felt like hours. When I had let out my frustrations I crawled back through my window. I walked into my bathroom and stared into my mirror. My eyes were puffy and red. My cheeks were stained with dried tears. Without thinking, I raised my fist and punched the mirror as hard as I physically could. The glass shattered. My hand began to bleed. I turned and began to punch my wall. I sat down and curled into a ball. "Weston?" Melanie's voice crept the bathroom doorway. "What do you want, Melanie? Can't you see I'm struggling right now?" I shouted. "Mom would like you to come down stairs. You've been up here for 5 hours." She replied meekly. She walked over and sat down beside me. She wrapped her arms around me, and held me close. "It's gonna be hard, Wessy. We're all in it together." She comforts me. "Dad loved all of us. He wouldn't want us to mope around and grieve. He'd want us to be happy. Don't just give up." She says. "Come on, let's get downstairs." She states as she stands. She holds out her hand, and I grab it. She pulls me up off the floor and we walk downstairs. Mom has her phone out when we make it into the living room. "Are we ready to open presents?" She exclaims. Melanie and I share a look, almost understanding mom. She wants us to pretend that our father didn't pass away. She wants us to enjoy this Christmas. Melanie and I whispered to each other and then came to the agreement we'd do just that. "I am!" I shout. I head over to the tree and grab the first gift. I grabbed the gift and brought it to my ear before shaking it. I began to unwrap the present until I was able to see what it was. After a certain point, I was able to identify what I was holding: A brand new gaming console. Specifically an Xbox Series X. I wasn't always big on video games, and my parents knew this. However, I did play the occasional video game on my laptop or phone, which my parents also knew. "Woah! This thing is amazing!" I shouted with a smile. "Thanks, Mom!" I grabbed the next gift and began to unwrap it. It was small. It's not that I was upset about a small gift, but all of my other gifts came in big casings, so I was confused. I tore it open and it revealed a box. I opened it to find my dad's watch and a polaroid picture from when I was a baby of my dad holding me in his arms. He was fast asleep on his arm chair. My parents told me that story a million times. My father came home after a long day. It was right after my mother had me. She was having a hard time adjusting and hadn't slept in days. My father took me from her arms and allowed her to go and get some rest. He sat down on the recliner watching TV with me in his arms. He would end up falling asleep, and the next morning my mother took the picture. For a second, I zoned out, before letting out a slight chuckle. It made me sad, definitely, though I appreciated the fact that I forever had a piece of my dad to carry with me. "Thank you, Mom. This is sweet." I said. We finished unwrapping our gifts and then snapped a family photo. We had our Christmas dinner before going out into the backyard. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" Melanie said in song. She was trying to replicate Anna from frozen. "I'm up for it!" Mom shouted. "Me, too!" I budged in. We started by rolling up the biggest piece, the body. "Go long, Wessy!" Melanie had a snowball in hand and began a throwing motion. I ran as fast as I could to get underneath the snowball, before I got smacked into and forced into the ground. "Man, that hurt. What the?" I looked up and my mom was standing over me. "And Julia lays the hit, and the ball comes loose! It's incomplete on the play. Second down!" She says through laughs. I get up with a smirk. "Real funny, mom, watch this." I say. I run up to my mom and tackle her to the ground. All 3 of us let out laughs. Mom and I got up and began to work on the head of the snowman. "I'll get the nose!" Melanie shouted. "I got the eyes!" I said. "Wait, kids. It's missing something." Mom said. She roamed around and found a hat and put it on the snowman's head. "We need a name." Melanie stated. "What about Gary?" I asked. "Like your dad. I like it." Mom answered. We all huddled around the snowman and took a selfie. "Who's ready to watch Christmas movies?" I asked as I raced into the house. The Christmas Story felt like the perfect movie to watch this year. We all watched movies until we fell asleep. For the first time in a while, we had been a family again. Days passed and New Years came. I got a text on my phone from Lindsay's number asking me to go to a party. I hadn't gotten out at all since my father died, and I thought it could be a good opportunity to get out and socialize. Maybe I might be able to escape my troubles. I told my family I love them and wished them goodbye before heading out to my car and driving to the party. The party was loud, and the lights were bright. They had a heated pool. Lots of people were participating in explicit activities in the middle of the open. "I guess this must be the place." I said to myself. I walked out and tried to find Lindsay. When I found her, she was sitting on a couch alone with a bag on the table. "Lindsay?" I say, "Are you okay." She tells me that she's fine and offers me a seat beside her. She hands me the bag. I ask her what it is, and she casually says it's marijuana. I tell her she's nuts if she thinks I'd try that. She picks up a lighter and grabs some rolling paper and weed and makes a joint. She lights it and holds it out to me. I'm not gonna lie when I say I was extremely tempted by this offer. Life has been a daze since my father passed away and this was an opportunity to escape and live a little. I take the blunt and take a hit. I do this again. Then again. Then again until the blunt is no longer smokable. Then, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a bottle of over the counter prescription meds. She tells me these aren't allowed. Only weed was permitted in the party. She asks me if I want to sneak off with her. I agree, and we go to my car. I couldn't even think clearly. She offered me the meds, and I obliged, taking a few. My head began to spin way faster than it was before. I was beginning to feel much happier. I was beginning to feel like a whole different person. I felt like there weren't any problems in the world. I lost track of time swimming in the pool. I lost track of time dancing to the music. I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was midnight, and immediately began to panic. My mother was going to kill me. If she didn't, then Melanie sure as hell would. I panicked and ran to my car. I told Lindsay goodbye, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I got in my car and sped through the streets. I couldn't see straight and my head was spinning. I sped up faster and faster and began swerving more and more. I was lucky I didn't crash. I stumbled into my house no later than 12:15. Mom was asleep, but Melanie wasn't. "Where were you?" Melanie asks with concern in her voice. "I told you, I was hanging out with Lindsay." This wasn't a lie, I was hanging out with Lindsay. But it wasn't the whole truth. "What is that smell, Wessy? Were you doing marijuana?" She interrogated me into oblivion. Asking why I was so out of it. She asked why my eyes were red. She asked me over and over again why I smelled like weed. Eventually I threw up right there in the doorway. "Melanie, I don't feel so hot." I say, and make my way to the stairs. "No, no, no." She says and jumps in front of me. "You're in no position to walk up those stairs. You're lucky I'm not gonna tell mom. She'd kill you. I can't believe you Weston. You're so zoned out since Christmas and then you come back from Lindsay's high out of your mind and throwing up. What has gotten into you?" She was yelling at me by now. "Dad has gotten into me! Dad's gone! He's not coming back! I escaped all of the problems I had tonight! I'm proud of what I did!" I screamed back. I knew I wasn't. I was ashamed. I knew Melanie was too. Surprisingly, Melanie didn't run off. "I know, Wessy. Me, too. I miss our dad." Her voice was calm now, and she started to walk towards me. She wrapped me in a hug. "It's okay. As long as I have my big brother and you have your little sister nothing can go wrong. I love you Weston." She was whispering. I broke down into tears and hugged her back. She led me over to the couch and gave me a pillow. She wrapped me in a blanket and turned on the TV. Within 10 minutes we both had crashed. The next day was Dad's funeral, and mom was more emotional than ever. Melanie and I tried our best to comfort her, but all she could do is cry. The day was full of tears and crying. My mother gave a speech through tears. Her words touched the lives of everyone who attended the funeral. "Gary was a father to my kids for 18 amazing years. When I met him in high school, I never imagined I'd spend the next 26 years of my life with him. From 13 to 39 he gave me the best memories I can remember. Homecoming, prom, date nights, and most importantly, a ring to put on my finger. Gary met more to me than anyone could ever know. He was an amazing father. He was an amazing employee. Around a week ago I got a call from the police. They informed me that my husband had been killed by a masked man wearing all black. Gary loved his job. When he went to Seattle to expand the company he would've never imagined that the day he left would be the last day that he saw us. He didn't know he was gonna be killed in an armed robbery that went south. He touched so many lives. He was a brave soul. I couldn't imagine the fear he had left in his last moments. I know now, though, that Gary is no longer suffering. He no longer has to feel fear. He's safe and happier than ever. He would want all of us to feel the same. While it may be difficult, especially for myself, I encourage all of you to celebrate the life of my husband. Thank you." She finished her speech in tears. When he was lowered into the ground, you could feel his spirit in the air. When we came home, nothing became any easier. We all cried for hours. This wasn't like Christmas. There would be no laughs today. There would be only pain. It was the worst feeling I had ever felt.