Chapter 1: 'Feathered Wings'
I'm tired...
Tired of society looking at me that way.
I'm tired...
Tired of how society talks about me....
You do not understand what I have had to live through.
You are not capable of putting yourselves in my shoes and thinking about all that I have suffered.
I've had enough...
I have had enough of this...
I thought about all this the moment that perfect being looked me in the eye.
There I understood that everything I knew had changed forever.
...
...
This story begins a long time ago, in a world without a name; in a world ruled by human beings.
Everyone has free will and can do whatever they want; they can dominate anything.
That is the supremacy of the human being in this world. The master of all the beasts that walk, fly, swim, crawl and live in this world. No one can stand against the power of the human being.
...
...
...
The classroom door opened and a boy with long black hair walked in. He had big dark circles under his eyes and his gaze was absorbed in the floor, as if he didn't want to see anyone, as if he didn't want anyone to see him.
His uniform was messy, but clean. This was enough to get the attention of the others.
"Here comes that guy."
"Why does he always look so grim?"
"He's disgusting..."
The comments of his classmates fell like razor blades on his head.
He just ducked his head and moved forward to his place in this classroom.
As he sat in the back of the classroom, he looked out the window hoping no one could sense his presence, but even then, he had been the center of attention. Everyone is talking about how pathetic he is.
As usual, he ignored them.
He doesn't have a name; like everyone here. He has no identity; like everyone in this world. No one is anything in this vast existence
Though this was only happening inside this boy's head.
17 years of life; 17 years of tragedy. His name is not important, no one cares, but it will still be mentioned.
He looked up and saw through her long bangs that someone else had entered the classroom. He ignored her after learning who it was and turned his gaze back to the window.
Suddenly, however, he heard a voice at his side.
"Sam... Do you already have the homework I asked for yesterday?"
A girl's voice.
Sam's eyes widened in terror and he immediately shifted in his chair falling backwards. When his eyes caught sight of that girl, a distant memory of his childhood flashed back to him like a nightmare mixed with reality.
He crawled crawling backwards screaming in great fear, which made the girl sigh.
After that, when Sam stood in a corner facing the girl, he realized what he was doing and grabbed his head with both hands. He ducked his gaze because he knew what was coming after this.
...
Laughter and hurtful comments.
"Are you sure you're not gay?"
"What the fuck, bro. Are you seriously still going on about it after all this time?"
"It was getting late. When was the last time he did that? Last week?"
"It still cracks me up how she's always crawling on the floor like a worm."
"What an annoying bitch."
Sam covered his ears with his palms so he wouldn't hear them.
'Yeah... This has always been like this...'
He said to himself.
...
After that, Sam doesn't remember much of what happened.
When he came to, he found himself in the school dumpsters. His clean uniform was now dirty and messier than before. His nose was bleeding and he was in so much pain throughout his body that it was hard to move.
"Haa..."
Looking up at the sky, lying on the garbage bags, he realized that the sky was so blue and pure, so quiet and peaceful....
A couple of tears fell down his hurt face.
"I don't want this anymore..."
He was tired of always having lived this way.
Just because he had gynophobia... This society singles him out and mocks him as if what he went through was no big deal.
They are wrong... they are so wrong.
Why is everyone making fun of him?
Why is everyone treating him like this?
He's supposed to be the victim, but the world doesn't see him that way.
Some of his classmates often say he was lucky to have lost his virginity as a kid....
They're a bunch of assholes....
'You don't understand...'
Even if he tried to explain it, nobody understood.
This whole world...
'You're all trash...'
Why live in this world full of garbage? Wasn't it better to die and end it all?
If dying was the only option left to him, that meant his life had been crap from the start.
Sore, limping and shaking out his clothes, he got up from that spot and looked at that his backpack and notebooks were shredded and strewn all over the floor.
He took the time to quietly pick everything up and stuff everything back into the backpack. When he was done, he moved toward the exit of the facility.
...
...
He lives in a small apartment in the suburbs. An apartment without a number, a suburb without a name. To get to that apartment he had to climb the stairs to the fifth floor because the elevator is always broken.
The long walk up the countless stairs was always boring and silent.
'If only everything was this boring..."
He thought, but his wish was never going to come true.
As he finished his walk down the boring stairs, he looked at the number five painted on the wall. That number was so old that it looked like you could remove it from the wall just by running your fingers over the old paint.
The place itself also had the same look as that old number. The green walls with the paint falling off from the passage of time. Leaks in the ceiling from broken pipes. Flickering lights in a long, narrow hallway leading to his apartment.
It's not that he can't afford to live in a better place, but that his father likes to save the money. That money is earmarked for his college fund.
[53] The number lying on the old wooden door.
Sam did not see this number. For him, nothing and no one has an identity, something that characterizes them. In his eyes all human beings are the same. Faceless beings with no face or personality, following the rules of their own world like good children.
But even for him that meant nothing.
He was like this old door. Any moment it would fall in front of his eyes and no one could do anything to stop it.
He quickly reached for the key he took out of his pocket and inserted it into the lock. He turned the key and the lock made a small click. Thus the door opened and Sam entered his apartment.
Inside the apartment looked better than the outside. The walls are painted with white moisture-proof paint. The furniture, though old, was very well kept.
"Father work again, eh..."
The man is careful that his son has a good future. Despite the adversities and the horrible event of the past, the man has tried to do everything so that Sam could have a normal life.
The sad reality is that this has not been possible for a long time.
Without waiting long, he threw the backpack on the couch and got into the shower without even taking off his clothes.
He turned on the faucet and the water began to pour down.
With his clothes on, getting wet from the water falling on him, Sam closed his eyes and slowly fell to his knees.
He looked down at the ceramic floor with his eyes lost and began to laugh.
Is this funny? Not at all, but he wanted to believe it is. He wanted to think this is all just part of another nightmare or practical joke. His father tries too hard for him, but Sam isn't able to move forward and improve.
He thinks of himself as a parasite who only takes up that poor man's time and money, so this led him to have dark thoughts.
Yes... he has already thought about it for a long time....
Since that night so long ago...
...
...
A ten-story building.
A boy fed up with this life...
Dusk falls on this horrible world...
At the edge of the place, with the wind blowing gently over his face.
"Maybe this is where it must end..."
If this is where this ends, it was better to just leave it as an ending and be done with it. There was no need for a sequel. No need for a sequel that would end in disgrace.
At the edge of the building, Sam closed his eyes ready to launch himself from the top.
However...
He felt a shiver run down his spine. A strange sensation invaded his body and his legs gave way, causing him to fall backwards.
The moment his back hit the ground, he ran out of air in his lungs. The fall left him dazed for a few seconds, but he still sat up on the ground and looked forward.
At that moment Sam felt time stand still.
...
...
Nothing has a face. Nothing has an identity. We are all drops of water in this infinite ocean of blood, so there is no point in saying our names or remembering our faces. That's what I thought when I saw that strange being that made my blood freeze.
If I had to describe that being, I could only put his appearance in one word.
Perfect...
Wide wings of gray feathers were born from its back. Her hair was as pale and white as snow, so long and silky that it reached halfway down her torso, a torso which literally showed nothing but bones. Her ribs and spine were exposed, without a hint of visible flesh, supporting the whole beautifully bizarre body she had. Her chest was covered by a bunch of green bandages while a long black cloak covered the rest of her body. Her gaze was so cold, so inexpressive that it made my blood run cold.
That being did not look like a man, he resembled more the appearance of a beautiful woman, more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen or met before, for her skin was as pale as her hair and her lips were pink and perfect.
"You..."
I whisper in the most beautiful voice I have ever heard in my life.
She then, with her expressionless face, pursed her lips showing a slight smile, but that smile buried deep in my soul an indescribable fear that made me stop breathing.
A smile that showed no emotion, accompanied by a beautiful piercing gaze the color of gold.
I couldn't even move a muscle, but I understood something....
At this moment the blue sky that I once saw such a pure blue color had turned black, with a darkness so deep that it contrasted perfectly with this strange and beautiful being with ribs showing between her long black cloak.
"Do you regret it?"
That beautiful voice again whispered. So, from between her cloak, she pulled out a brown lantern with a blue flame inside. Holding that lantern with her beautiful and delicate feminine hands, she said:
"If you repent, then follow in the footsteps of our almighty God."
That strange being took a step into the abyss and looked at me as if she wanted me to follow her, but the terror of the unknown I felt prevented me from even standing up.
Seeing that I could not follow it, it whispered to me, a whisper that I could feel close to my ear even though that beautiful creature was floating above the abyss.
"It's okay... you'll still have time..."
And it faded away amidst strange lights and fireflies that flickered in front of my eyes.
As I realized what was happening, high in the black sky, seven deafening trumpets echoed across the world....
I didn't know what was happening, but I understood that everything I am seeing is not a dream or a nightmare. All this had become a horrible reality.
To be continued...