Chasing Shadows

I sat on the edge of Gwen's bed, my knees drawn up to my chest, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. The quiet of the room pressed in, and with it, the flood of thoughts I'd been trying to push down since everything happened. Gwen was gone—probably smoothing things over with the council, making sure I wouldn't be dragged back to that cell. I should be grateful, should be planning my next move, but all I could think about was Eleri.

My fingers curled around the fabric of Gwen's sheets, and I tried to steady my breathing. Eleri. Her name was like a pulse inside me, constant and relentless. The memory of her face from that room flashed again, the way she'd looked at me, that intensity in her eyes. I shivered, not just from fear but from something else, something I didn't want to admit.

I hadn't seen her in years—not since she disappeared from the orphanage. She'd been turned into a vampire, and I into a siren, each of us taken by different forces. We hadn't spoken since then, hadn't even crossed paths. I didn't let myself think about her often; it was easier that way. Easier to pretend she was just a part of my past. But now... after what happened, I couldn't shake her from my mind.

I clenched my jaw, remembering the way she had come onto me. The way her hands had gripped me, her lips close, her voice low. It wasn't the first time I'd seen her that way—dominant, in control—but it was the first time it had felt like more than just manipulation. More than just her usual power games. And the worst part? The part that had been eating me alive since that moment?

I liked it.

I pressed my face into my knees, the heat rising in my cheeks. Even thinking about it now made my skin tingle. It was so wrong, so twisted, and yet I couldn't deny the pull I felt toward her. It had always been there, hadn't it? Since we were kids. She used to cling to me like I was her lifeline, always following me around, always needing to be near me. I remembered how her small hand would grip mine so tightly, her soft voice calling my name over and over. 

I used to think it was just a phase—something she'd grow out of. But now, I wasn't so sure. Had she felt something more for me, even back then? Had I? The memories of our time together in the orphanage played in my mind, moments that seemed so innocent at the time but now took on a different light.

I'd been her protector. She was the cute, clingy one, always by my side. It drained me, being so close to her constantly, but I never pushed her away. I couldn't. There was something about her that kept me tethered, even when it exhausted me. Was that what this was? Had I cared about her more than I realized, even then?

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make sense of it. I missed her. God, I missed her. When she was gone, it was like a part of me had been ripped away, but I never let myself admit it. I told myself I was better off without her, that I didn't need the weight of her constant presence. But now that she was back... now that she had done what she did, I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Why had she taken me? Why had she tortured Dragonir? And why, in that room, did she look at me like that—like she had wanted me all along?

I bit my lip, my thoughts racing. I needed to talk to her. I needed to know if this was all in my head or if there was something real between us. Something that had been there all along. But where could I find her? How could I face her after everything?

My heart pounded in my chest as the questions swirled in my mind. Did Eleri have feelings for me back then? Was that why she clung to me, why she never wanted to leave my side? Was that why she had taken me now—because she still felt the same way? And if she did, what did that mean for me?

The room felt too small, the walls closing in around me as I tried to untangle the mess of emotions swirling inside me. I hated her for what she did, for how she had manipulated me, for how she had hurt Dragonir. But beneath that hate, there was something else. Something darker, something I wasn't ready to face.

I had to find her. I had to ask her, to demand answers. But at the same time, I was terrified of what those answers might be. If she had loved me all along... if she still did... what did that say about me? About us?

My mind raced with questions, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn't stay here. I couldn't sit in Gwen's room, waiting for someone else to take control of the situation. I had to take matters into my own hands. I had to find Eleri, no matter what it took.

With a deep breath, I stood up, my hands shaking slightly as I ran them through my hair. My pulse was still racing, my thoughts still a chaotic mess, but I knew what I had to do. I had to face her. I had to get answers, even if they terrified me.

But where would she be? Where could I start looking?

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside me. I would figure it out. I had to. Because the longer I sat here, the more the questions gnawed at me, and I knew that if I didn't find her soon, I might never be able to move forward.

I glanced at the door, half expecting Gwen to come back any moment. But she wasn't who I needed right now. I needed Eleri. I needed to know why she had done all of this, and I needed to know if, somewhere deep down, I had felt the same way all along.