Unspoken

I couldn't sleep. The palace was quiet, save for the faint hum of the wind outside my window, but my mind was a whirlwind of noise and confusion. Gwen's confession earlier echoed in my head, her words tangled up with the memories I'd been trying so hard to bury.

I'm the reason there's a warrant out for your arrest.

I never thought Gwen could have been involved in something like that. I understood why she did it; she had wanted to protect me, to bring me back. But she didn't know what she had set in motion—how that one action had made everything unravel so quickly.

And now Eleri was here, back in my life in a way that felt suffocating and inevitable. The Queen had introduced her as my new advisor, the very person who had hunted me down, who had taken me away and left scars I was still trying to understand.

I rolled onto my side, staring at the pale moonlight filtering through the curtains. Eleri's face, her voice, her touch—all of it haunted me. It wasn't just the terror of what she had done. It was more complicated than that. There was a pull between us, something that had always been there but that I had shoved deep down. Seeing her again now had brought everything rushing back.

When we were younger, she had been everything to me—charming, bold, and magnetic. Eleri had this way of looking at me like I was the only person in the world, her eyes burning with an intensity that both thrilled and terrified me. Even when things started to go wrong, when her obsession turned dangerous, part of me couldn't shake the feeling that she and I were connected in some twisted way. And when she kissed me that day, it was like the world had stopped.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memory, but it was useless. I could still feel the warmth of her breath on my skin, the way her fingers had grazed my cheek before she pulled me close. I hadn't wanted to want her. But I had.

And that kiss, that single moment, had been the most confusing thing I'd ever felt. It wasn't just fear. There had been something else—something that I hadn't understood at the time and was still afraid to fully acknowledge now.

What scared me the most was that part of me had liked it.

I sat up, pushing the blankets off, my skin too hot despite the cool night air. I couldn't keep lying here, trapped in my own thoughts. I needed to clear my head, to get some space. The halls were dark and silent as I padded out of my room, my footsteps soft against the marble floors.

I found myself wandering toward the east wing, the side of the palace where Eleri's quarters were. I didn't even realize where I was going until I stood outside her door, the faint light from under it casting a shadow along the floor. My heart raced, my mind screaming at me to turn back, but my feet refused to move.

I wasn't sure why I was here. Maybe it was to confront her, to demand answers. Or maybe it was something else entirely, something I didn't want to admit. Either way, my body was moving before I could think better of it, my hand raising to knock on the door.

The sound was soft, barely a tap, but within seconds, the door creaked open, and there she was.

Eleri.

She stood there in a simple dress, her dark hair loose around her shoulders, her eyes locking onto mine the moment the door opened. For a second, neither of us said anything. The silence stretched between us, heavy and electric.

"Seraphina," she said softly, her voice smooth like silk. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I... couldn't sleep," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

Her lips curved into a small smile, and she stepped aside, gesturing for me to come in. "You should come in then."

I hesitated, my heart pounding in my chest. I knew I shouldn't. I knew this was dangerous territory, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. I stepped over the threshold, feeling the air shift around me as the door clicked shut behind me.

Eleri moved to the window, her back to me, and I watched her for a moment, unsure of what to say, unsure of why I was even here. The way the moonlight fell on her made her look ethereal, almost unreal, but the weight of her past loomed between us.

"You've been avoiding me," she said after a long pause, her voice quiet but sharp.

"I've had a lot to think about," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. But she was right. I had been avoiding her, afraid of what being around her would stir up inside me.

She turned to face me, her eyes piercing in the dim light. "Do you hate me for what I did?"

I swallowed, the truth caught in my throat. Did I hate her? I wanted to. I had every reason to. She had hurt me, betrayed me, chased me across the kingdom like I was something to be caught and owned. But hate wasn't the word that fit. It was more complicated than that. 

"I don't know," I admitted, feeling vulnerable under her gaze. "I don't know how I feel about you."

Eleri took a step closer, her presence overwhelming, her voice softening into something almost tender. "You've always been different, Seraphina. Special. You can't deny that there's something between us."

I shook my head, trying to push away the feelings rising up inside me. "That doesn't excuse what you did."

"No," she agreed, her voice low. "But it doesn't change how I feel either."

There it was. The thing I had been avoiding, the truth I hadn't wanted to confront. Eleri still cared about me—maybe even loved me, in her own twisted way. And worse, part of me still felt something for her too. Something I didn't fully understand but couldn't completely ignore.

"Do you think I wanted this?" Eleri's voice cracked slightly, and I saw a flicker of something in her eyes—pain, regret, longing. "I never meant to hurt you, Seraphina. I was lost... confused. You were everything I wanted, but I didn't know how to keep you safe. I thought I was protecting you."

Her words pulled at my heart, a thread of empathy weaving through my confusion. I could see the girl I had once known—the one who had made me laugh, who had shared my dreams. But that girl was buried beneath the weight of her choices, just as I was buried beneath the weight of my feelings.

"I just wanted to feel something real," she continued, her voice a whisper now, "but I was afraid… so afraid of losing you that I pushed too hard. I thought if I could keep you close, I could keep you safe."

I turned to leave, my mind racing, but her voice stopped me before I reached the door.

"Seraphina," she said softly. "You can't run forever."

I paused, my hand hovering over the door handle, her words echoing in my mind. She was right. I couldn't run forever. But staying here, in this room, with her? That felt just as dangerous.

"I'll figure it out," I whispered, more to myself than to her. The uncertainty lay thick between us, laden with unspoken truths that hung in the air like a fragile thread ready to snap. And then, without looking back, I opened the door and slipped out into the hallway, leaving Eleri behind.

But the truth followed me, no matter how far I tried to run. I stepped into the cold corridor, the chill biting into my skin as I wandered aimlessly, thoughts swirling like a storm in my mind. My heart ached with the weight of the past, each step feeling heavier than the last. I was lost in the labyrinth of my emotions, trying to find a way through the darkness.

How had it come to this? I had once cherished the connection I had with Eleri, even when it had turned toxic. It had felt like a beautiful lie, wrapped in chaos and confusion. And now, that very connection threatened to swallow me whole.

I pressed my palm against the wall, feeling the cool stone beneath my fingers. I needed to think. To breathe. I had to confront my feelings, no matter how terrifying they were. Because the truth was, no matter how much I tried to ignore it, Eleri was still a part of me. 

And I was terrified of what that meant.