Ch.107 Humor is the Best Cosmetic Surgery for Men

"Black Cat!"

Professor Curt's grin grew even more sinister when he spotted Felicia.

Clearly, he knew about the infamous super thief who had been recently active.

Seeing Black Cat's gaze lock onto Aleksei in Charlie's direction, he laughed out loud.

"Hahaha, good! You want to save him, then I'll kill you!"

"If you want to kill him, I'll stop you!" Felicia shot back defiantly.

"None of you can kill him," Aleksei shouted from the rubble.

"Who are you even trying to kill?" Charlie raised his hand weakly.

But unfortunately, neither Professor Curt nor Felicia had the time to care about Charlie.

As tension thickened, the two opposing figures leaped into the air simultaneously.

"Die!"

A gust of wind roared as the green Lizard lunged, claws aimed at Felicia's throat. But she was far more agile than expected.

At the moment the claws came close, she shrank her body by several inches, deftly touched her toes to Curt's attacking claws, then flipped over his head.

For a brief moment, she seemed to transform into a black cat.

Whoosh, whoosh~

A gentle breeze swept by, Felicia's snow-white ponytail swaying. As she landed, she crouched down to absorb the momentum, making no sound at all.

"Come with me," she said, pulling Charlie's hand.

Charlie hesitated, "But you guys haven't finished fighting..."

"Come on."

Before Charlie could agree, Felicia pulled him towards the balcony.

"Wait, I'm afraid of heights..."

"I'll hold you."

"Then I'm not afraid of heights anymore."

Whoosh~

The two figures jumped from the fourteenth floor. As they plummeted, Felicia fired her grappling hook, hooking onto a balcony across the way and swinging between the buildings.

Held tight by Felicia, Charlie watched and pondered.

Being able to carry someone while swinging from a hook—her physical abilities clearly surpassed that of an ordinary person.

"Bastard, don't you dare take him away!"

Professor Curt's roar echoed through the night. The giant green Lizard leaped off the balcony, using both hands and feet to bulldoze down the side of the building, relentlessly pursuing Felicia.

Charlie was his most prized student and his friend.

He had already completely failed, and had betrayed Charlie's trust. He couldn't let anything happen to the one person who had helped him.

Behind him, the balcony lay in ruins.

Aleksei, covered in dust, saw that the Lizard monster still wasn't giving up and shouted desperately, "I'm your target, let him go..."

"Who the hell is yelling at night when we're trying to sleep?!"

A middle-aged woman, her hair full of curlers, opened her window and began to shout. A moment later, she saw the shadow of the creature and hurriedly slammed the window shut.

Bang!!

"Ah! My tooth..."

A scream rang out. Bloody teeth mixed with shattered glass fell from the high-rise, and more and more residents were awakened by the noise.

They opened their windows, trying to see what was going on, but were terrified when they saw the massive Lizard on the opposite building.

"Oh, sh*t, what a huge monster."

"It's a Lizard!"

"Oh my God, this is terrifying. Shut the window, quick!"

Whoosh~~

Not long after, Felicia and Charlie landed on a rooftop, running across it.

"Hey, buddy, how did you get tangled up with that giant Lizard? You're gonna give me a lot of trouble," Felicia said while running.

Charlie, running beside her, had an odd expression. "If you hadn't taken me, he might not have chased you."

"I can't let him kill you."

"Why?"

"I still need to steal your most important possession!"

"You've already stolen it."

"What?"

"This is my first time holding hands with a girl—that's my most important thing."

"Uh, do you think you're funny?"

"What, do you want to steal my humor too?"

"I really want to throw you off this roof right now."

Felicia fell silent for a moment, but then the Lizard leaped onto the rooftop, roaring.

"I've got you now!"

Boom!

His claws swiped, and Felicia threw Charlie aside, sliding low to dodge Professor Curt's lunge.

"Run."

As they crossed paths, Felicia fired her grappling hook, wrapping it around Charlie and pulling him away. Curt gritted his teeth in frustration as he missed.

"You annoying woman, you won't be able to take him away."

Using both his hands and feet, the Lizard charged after them across the rooftop.

Felicia had already pulled Charlie over to another building.

"You seem tired. You can let me go," Charlie said.

Hearing Felicia's increasingly labored breathing, Charlie realized she was exhausted.

Felicia didn't look back, just said, "No, I haven't stolen your most important possession yet."

"What do you want to steal? I can just give it to you."

"You're insulting me."

"This... maybe?"

"Shut up."

Felicia swore. Her chest heaved, not only from exhaustion but also from anger.

"Okay." Charlie covered his mouth.

It seemed Black Cat didn't know he was Spider-Man; otherwise, she wouldn't be putting in so much effort to save him.

He glanced back at Professor Curt, who was still chasing them.

Charlie was getting sleepy.

Just as he was about to "accidentally fall" to end all this, fiery lights roared through the night sky, and green flames approached rapidly.

"Charlie, I'm here!!"

Harry soared over the rooftops on his glider, tossing pumpkin bombs along the way, which exploded in mid-air.

Boom!!

White powder filled the air, and Professor Curt screamed in pain, covering his eyes.

"Ah!! What is this!!" He dropped to his knees, struggling.

With Harry's arrival, Felicia pulled Charlie under a tarp on a nearby rooftop.

Seeing this, Charlie confidently said, "That must be Harry's latest invention."

"It's just regular lime," Hawkeye said, jumping down from a helicopter. He landed steadily next to Charlie, aiming his arrow at Felicia while explaining offhandedly.

Charlie: "..."

"You can let the hostage go," Clint said, glaring at Felicia.

"Wait, I'm not a hostage."

Charlie stepped forward, putting himself between Clint and Felicia. "Your mission is to take Aleksei, not save me."

Clint: "..."

He couldn't quite process this.

This was the first time he had heard a "hostage" make such a request.

After thinking for a moment, he turned and fired arrows at Professor Curt's rooftop, helping Harry deal with the monster.

Meanwhile, Felicia's eyes gleamed when she heard the mention of Aleksei.

"You know Aleksei, so you must know Spider-Man," she said.

"How do you know I know Spider-Man?" Charlie replied.

Felicia glanced at Clint, then leaned close to Charlie's ear, whispering.

"A few days ago, I broke into S.H.I.E.L.D. and accidentally found some secrets in their system."

"Stay away; that tickles." Charlie rubbed his ear.

Felicia's face turned dark, but then Charlie asked, "Did you see my information?"

"Yes, you're related to Captain Carter."

"Don't bring that up."

"Fine, your file states that you're a contact for Spider-Man."

"So, the thing you want to steal is...?"

"You guessed right. I want to be Spider-Man's new contact."

"That's it?"

Charlie put his hand to his forehead. "You could've just said that—you scared me."

He thought Black Cat had figured out his identity.

Seeing the Lizard start to flee in panic, Felicia's mood brightened.

"I saved you, so Spider-Man will definitely meet me. He'll thank me."

"Thanking you doesn't mean he'll be your friend," Charlie poured cold water on her enthusiasm.

Felicia stood confidently, subconsciously straightening her posture to emphasize her curves.

"No man would refuse me."

Charlie glanced at her and scoffed, "The mysterious, noble Spider-Man has seen it all. You're not going to attract him."

"He's seen it?" Felicia frowned.

"Yeah."

"Where? Who?"

"Online, lots."

Felicia's face turned dark, resisting the urge to smack Charlie.

"Alright, you're fine now. Here's my contact info. Make sure Spider-Man gets it. No funny business—I know where you go to school."

"Oh, really? Is that a threat?"

Charlie snorted, taking her contact info and putting it in his pocket.

"Congratulations. Threat successful."

"Good."

Felicia jumped off the rooftop, blowing a kiss to Charlie before she left.

"Think of it as a thank you for helping."

Charlie caught the imaginary kiss, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it.

"You didn't brush your teeth tonight."

Felicia: "..."

I swear, one day I'm gonna give you a good lesson!

Mid-air, she shot Charlie a glare before swinging away with her grappling hook.

Over at the other rooftop, Professor Curt saw Harry arrive, finally letting out a sigh of relief before slipping away into the darkness.

"Hey, buddy, long time no see."

Harry hopped off his glider, playfully punching Charlie's shoulder, clearly in a good mood.

"I saw Spider-Man a little while ago. He saved everyone again." He laughed.

Charlie threw an arm over Harry's shoulders. "Of course. I heard about that. This time you got here just in time."

Harry raised his brow. "Say thank you."

Charlie: "..."

"Which idiot taught you that?"

"Spider-Man."

"Great. Let's change the subject."

Charlie pointed towards the apartment building. "Aleksei should still be in my apartment."

"No rush—the captain is already there."

"She didn't rescue me first?"

"The captain believes Spider-Man will protect you."

"But he didn't show up."

"True. Maybe he's already asleep."

"That's what I think too."

They chatted as they boarded the helicopter.

"My house is damaged. Get me a designer to redo it," Charlie ordered Harry without hesitation.

Harry didn't mind, putting his glider by his feet.

"No problem, but I think you could just move in with me."

"I don't like living with other guys."

"I live in a castle. You could pick a room far away."

"I hate castles."

"Why?"

"Castles remind me of magic. I hate magic."

Mentioning magic made Harry think of something.

"Mary Jane ended up in the hospital. You should check on her tomorrow."

"What happened?" Charlie asked, pretending not to know.

Harry shook his head. "She's had terrible luck. She was bitten by a mutant spider and became a Spider-Man. Then the underground syndicate kidnapped her."

"Spider-Man saved her, but she lost her powers. She's probably hiding under her blanket crying now."

"Oh, and Gwen too. Last time, I couldn't set you up with her, but she's in the hospital now."

Harry patted Charlie's chest, smiling slyly.

"I got 999 roses ready for her. She'll be so moved."

Hearing that, Charlie's face went rigid.

"Did you send them?"

"I already did. In your name. Don't say I don't have your back."

"You son of a—"

Charlie gritted his teeth. The Osborns were always Spider-Man's nemesis!

It would be super awkward the next time they met.

"By the way, where are you taking me?" Charlie realized.

Why had he just gotten on the helicopter without thinking?

Harry chuckled. "Captain asked me to bring you over. It's almost morning anyway. You probably wouldn't be able to sleep."

With that, Charlie pulled his hood down, closing his eyes and pretending to snore.

Harry: "..."

Funny, huh?

I'll do it too.

Whoo... whoo...

Across from them, Clint watched the two pretending to sleep and turned his head away coldly.

"Childish."

...

S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Easy, I'll walk. You need to treat prisoners better."

Aleksei, wearing handcuffs and leg shackles, protested the agent's pushing as he eyed Captain Carter's back with mock ferocity.

"You jerks, if I get out, I'll tear you apart."

Carter didn't even look back. "You won't get the chance. You'll be in prison for life."

"Hmph, no need to remind me."

Aleksei snorted. He was silent for a moment, then quietly asked Agent Hill beside him.

"Are there burgers in prison?"

Hill's eyelid twitched slightly. "Yes."

"Steak too?"

"Yes."

"Can I shower?"

"Yes."

"Are there rats?"

Hill was confused. "Do you like eating rats?"

"No, I'm just worried they'll disturb my sleep."

"Uh, don't worry. With your danger level, you'll have a private room with an en-suite bathroom, three meals a day, and the option of a late-night snack. You'll even get therapy sessions."

"I can study too?"

Aleksei paused, then suddenly dropped to his knees, sobbing.

"Why! Why!!"

He howled at the ceiling, leaving Carter irritated.

"Now what?" she sighed.

Aleksei's face was covered in tears. "Not only do I get enough to eat, but there are no rats, and I can study. Why didn't I know there was such a good place?! Why didn't you arrest me sooner?! I regret everything!!"

Carter: "..."

This world was seriously messed up.

But none of the agents present laughed at Aleksei.

They remained silent.

If a person commits a crime for money, that person is guilty.

If a person commits a crime for a loaf of bread, society is guilty.

Aleksei taught them all a lesson today.

"Hey, Captain, you're all here."

Harry's voice broke the silence.

"Why isn't anyone talking?" He walked up to the group, puzzled.

"It's you."

Suddenly, Aleksei, who was kneeling, looked up and saw Charlie standing beside Harry. He beamed with joy.

"Great, you're alive!"

Charlie covered his face. "Actually, I told them to arrest you."

"Really? Thank you so much."

Aleksei, dragging his heavy chains, approached Charlie, but Agent Hill blocked him.

"Let him through," Carter ordered.

Hill frowned. "What if he gets violent..."

She didn't want anything to happen to Charlie, the Spider-Man contact.

Carter nodded. "It's fine."

"Alright."

Hill hesitated, then let go. Aleksei moved forward and hugged Charlie.

"Thank you, Charlie Parker. You really consider me a friend by finding me such a good place."

"Here, the boss won't find me. I'll finally live a normal life."

"Friend, I'm so moved. Boo hoo."

Seeing Aleksei sobbing, Charlie forced a smile.

"You alright? I mean, mentally." He pointed to his own head.

Aleksei sobbed. "Of course, I'm fine. I'll always think of you as a friend."

Harry, touched by the scene, patted Aleksei on the shoulder, ready to offer comfort.

"Who are you?" Aleksei snapped.

Harry paused. "I'm Harry, Charlie's best friend."

Hearing this, Aleksei's eyes welled up with tears again.

"Then you're my friend too." He hugged Harry.

Harry felt something was off, but still accepted the gesture.

"Mm-hmm, we're all good friends."

Seeing this, Agent Hill and the others instinctively stepped back.

It was contagious.

Unable to handle the strange atmosphere any longer, Charlie turned to Carter.

"Why'd you call me over?"

Carter gestured for him to follow her. "Come with me."

They walked to the corner, and Carter spoke. "Something must've happened between you two, but Aleksei did wrong and will face punishment."

"I wasn't planning to interfere."

Charlie looked back towards Aleksei, an idea forming.

"Aleksei no longer has those chemical polymers. Didn't his danger level go down?"

Carter shook her head. "No. According to Dr. Banner, Aleksei survived the chemical experiment. If he undergoes a similar experiment again, it'll be easy for him to regain his former strength."

Charlie rubbed his chin. "In that case, keep a close eye on him. Don't let him out of your sight."

"Don't worry, he won't escape."

"No, I mean don't let him die."

"What?"

Carter paused, then understood.

"You're worried he'll end up in the resurrection match?"

"Yes. I encountered one of your old friends this time. He was so cunning I almost fell for it again."

Charlie's words made Carter's face turn serious. "That's a real problem. Alright, he won't die."

Then she added, "But I can't guarantee it."

"Hm?" Charlie frowned.

Carter explained, "Nick Fury has proposed a new plan called the 'Suicide Squad.' It's meant to use these criminals for extremely dangerous missions. Aleksei is likely the first test subject."

"Oh, and those infected by the Spider-Virus who used Spider-Man's powers for crime—they're part of the plan too."

"What?"

Charlie was completely shocked.

Nick Fury...

That guy's a genius!

After a long while, Charlie let out a sigh.

"Great. This world's malice is as strong as ever."

He said to Carter, "Let's get to the point."

"Follow me."

Carter instructed Hill to take Aleksei away and led Charlie to Dr. Banner's lab.

"Ahh!! This is torture!!"

"Why, why do I have to work overtime again?!"

"Sh*t, how has it only been thirty seconds?! I can't take it anymore!!"

Before they even reached the door, Charlie heard the desperate wails coming from inside the lab.

"Wait, we can't go in." He blocked Carter with a serious expression.

Here is the translated excerpt from Chapter 108, where the character 夏洛 is referred to as "Charlie":

Carter frowned. "Why?"

Charlie looked serious. "I can sense the intense resentment of the ultimate lifeform known as the 'working man.' This resentment can break anyone's mind, turning them into evil puppets, and it has a terrifying contagion. If we step through that door, we'll become one of them, eventually becoming..."

"Insane!" Carter cursed under her breath and pushed the door open.

Charlie quickly followed. "Hey, hey, hey, I wasn't done yet. How could you interrupt me? So rude. We'd end up as mere laborers, not just crazy."

"Shut up!"

"Oh."

Charlie covered his mouth.

Inside the lab, Dr. Banner looked at Carter with tears in his eyes and pleaded, "Captain, I want to go home, please."

Seeing the pitiful look on Banner's honest face, Carter felt a wave of resentment hit her.

Sh*t, that guy was actually right.

"Thanks for your hard work, Dr. Banner. You can go rest now," she said, her face changing slightly as she hurriedly urged him.

"Thank you, thank you."

With Carter's permission, Dr. Banner rushed out of the lab, breathing in the fresh air with an ecstatic look.

"Hahaha, I'm free! I love this world! I love my mom, my dad, my cousin..."

As Banner ran off, his cries grew fainter and fainter.

Carter rubbed her temples. "Ever since I met you, I've had no one normal around me," she told Charlie.

Charlie pulled his hood tightly over his head. "Don't talk to me, or the resentment might get to me."

Boom!

Carter finally snapped, swinging her fist and punching a fist-sized dent into the metal lab table.

Hoo~ breathe~

Her face flushed with anger, Carter's chest rose and fell as she took deep breaths, trying to calm her rage.

"I'm guessing that the reason you've been targeted by so many people in the resurrection match isn't really because of them."

"You're just like them. You don't understand humor at all."

Charlie finished speaking and walked to a different lab table, looking at the three black spines there.

Just as Carter thought Charlie was getting to the point, a helpless voice came from the side.

"Humor is the best cosmetic surgery for men."

"Die!!!"

Enraged, Carter swung her fist at him, wind howling, but Charlie caught her fist.

Boom!!

The lab shook slightly, and sparks flew from the equipment as the shockwave from their clash spread through the room.

Feeling the impact—close to ten tons—in his palm, Charlie looked a bit surprised.

"Captain, are you serious?"

After her outburst, Carter quickly regained her composure.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that to you," she said, slowly lowering her fist, looking embarrassed.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing."

Charlie was about to say more, but Carter covered his mouth.

"Listen to me first."

"Mmm mmm."

"I'll let you speak, but you can't say nonsense."

"Mmm mmm."

Seeing Charlie nod, Carter cautiously released him.

"I'll just say a few words."

"Hmm, go ahead."

"You were being a bit suggestive just now."

"Die!!!"