from what I can remember.

When I was a child, from what I can remember anyway I was a very fast learner. I can't remember being potty trained, or having tantrums though I'm sure there were a few but I just don't recall. I do remember peeing the bed at least once but my dad says that I never did, pretty sure I got rid of the sheets and flipped the mattress over all by myself out of sheer embarrassment and shame. I must have been around 6 years old at the time. I don't remember learning how to use our video tape player but I will always remember using it all the time from as young as about 3 or 4 years old. That's where I met my first love, movies. I watched whatever I could get my hands on at the time, mostly Toy Story 2, the lion king and then I found it, the one film that I learned so much from. The film that changed my little life forever.

It might come as a surprise to hear but the movie changed my life when I discovered it at the tender age of about 5. It's taught me amazing things like how to speak like an adult, what breasts were and that I also might want to see them from time to time, it taught me that any situation can be embarrassing, that any choice can go south and that apparently it was unacceptable to be a virgin past high school. Doesn't sound like knowledge a 5 year old would need but without it I don't know if I'd still be me today. The movie of course was none other than the 1999 classic that is American Pie.

Now of course as a 5 year old I wasn't allowed to watch American Pie but as the youngest of 4 it was easy enough to get away and be unnoticed for a while. In fact with the craziness of my siblings it was actually quite hard to be noticed much at all. But once i actually watched the movie thinking it could have been a child's comedy movie just by looking at the actors making funny faces standing behind a large partially destroyed pie, I was hooked. I started watching the movie religiously everyday for the better part of a year trying to teach myself what was going on so I could understand the jokes better. I learned what a virgin was, what it meant to be celibate and most importantly I learned that it's important not to take things too seriously because it clearly wasn't working for any of these guys.

What I learned most of all but was a simple thing for a 5 year old but definitely something a 5 year old might find useful. To swear..