Yuer, I Love You

In Rui Qinwang's residence, Yatu and her sisters, along with Dong'e, were running wild through the garden, completely caught up in their play.

The weather was hot, and their clothes were soaked with sweat and covered in dirt. If Jeje saw them like this when they returned, she would surely scold them. Even Yatu knew better than to provoke her Royal Mother and begged Qiqige to let them bathe and change their clothes.

Azhe can still fit in the spare clothes, but Yatu and Atu were too big to wear Dong'e's clothes. So, the children bathed and then tumbled onto the kang to play while the maids washed and dried their clothes.

After bathing and eating some snacks, the children grew tired and inevitably began to feel drowsy. The four sisters curled up together and, without realizing it, all fell asleep.

"What do we do now? They can't go back like this," Da Yuer sighed. "If we wake Atu and Azhe, they'll cry so loudly it'll shake the heavens."

"Then let them sleep. What's a few more hours?" Qiqige said with a laugh. "It's a good chance for us to talk."

Da Yuer had no choice but to agree, though deep down, she didn't really want to go back. Although Rui Qinwang's residence wasn't particularly large, and it wasn't exactly a place to relax, just being outside the palace made her feel a little lighter in spirit.

"One by one, they're all growing up. In the blink of an eye, my Yatu will be getting married. Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed," Da Yuer said, bending down to kiss her daughter and tuck a small blanket around her. As she looked at each child, her gaze fell on little Dong'e, and she smiled. "As her features develop, she looks more and more like Dorgon. It's like they were carved from the same mold. There's no doubt about it."

Qiqige sneered, "Thank goodness she looks like Dorgon. If she had features I didn't recognize, I'd know exactly what her mother looked like, and that would bother me for the rest of my life."

"You talk tough, but everyone knows how much you adore Dong'e," Da Yuer teased. "Dong'e's heart will always be with you. Don't let her down."

Qiqige tugged at her sleeve, "Let's not talk about this anymore. Come to my room and sit for a while. I'll get some things for your sister to take back. I still have some Shu embroidery from the Ming dynasty—your sister will love it."

"How do you have everything?" Da Yuer asked.

"People bring tributes to Dorgon. Everyone wants to curry favour. I'm used to it by now," Qiqige replied.

As they chatted and walked toward the main courtyard, they happened to pass the steward leading servants carrying numerous jars and bottles to the storeroom. It was no surprise—gifts were constantly being delivered to Rui Qinwang's residence.

After they passed, the servants continued on their way, but suddenly, the sound of a jar shattering reached their ears. A breeze carried the intoxicating aroma of fine liquor, and both Da Yuer and Qiqige couldn't help but follow the scent.

The steward was scolding a maid who had dropped the jar, and the poor girl was trembling with fear. Qiqige asked, "This wine smells amazing. Where is it from?"

"Your Highness, it's a white liquor from Guizhou in the Ming dynasty. Some Han merchants who have surrendered to the Qing brought it over and sent it to the residence," the steward explained. "It's said to be extremely rare. Breaking a jar like this is a great loss. I will punish this maid severely."

"It smells wonderful," Da Yuer said to Qiqige. "Even better than the wine we drink in the palace."

"Want to try it?" Qiqige guessed that Da Yuer was tempted and ordered, "It's just a jar of wine. No need to punish her. Have her clean up the mess, and bring another jar to my room."

She led Da Yuer away, instructing the maids to prepare some snacks. When the liquor arrived, the maids poured it into a bottle and set out cups and dishes. Qiqige then dismissed them.

As the clear, translucent liquor filled the cup, Da Yuer was suddenly reminded of that New Year's Eve when she had watched Qiqige drink cup after cup of the poison that would render her infertile. Her heart pounded violently. She couldn't be sure whether Hong Taiji had still been meddling with Rui Qinwang's residence. What if, after drinking this liquor today, she ended up like Qiqige, unable to bear children for the rest of her life?

"Just smelling it is enough to make me tipsy," Qiqige said. "Don't overdo it. Let's just have a taste. If you get drunk and go back to the palace, Aunt will scold me next time she sees me."

As she spoke, she took a small sip. The liquor was smooth and mellow, but even a tiny amount ignited a fiery warmth in her body, stirring her emotions. Qiqige immediately perked up and exclaimed excitedly, "Yuer, you have to try this. It's amazing!"

Da Yuer clutched her cup, her fingers tightening around it as her heart twisted into knots.

She was genuinely happy for her sister's unexpected pregnancy, but the pain it caused her was unbearable.

Her sister's health had always been fragile, and no one had expected her to conceive again. For a time, Hong Taiji had eagerly hoped they could have another child. Da Yuer had also let go of her reservations, striving to bear a son for the man she loved, someone who could inherit his empire. But now, even that last hope seemed to be slipping away.

Once her sister gave birth to a little prince, Hong Taiji would be overjoyed and would devote himself to raising and educating the child—after all, it was the son of the woman he loved most.

What meaning would there be if Da Yuer were to have a son now? Perhaps one day, the brothers would compete, causing Hong Taiji unnecessary trouble, and it would all become her fault.

"Yuer, aren't you going to drink?" Qiqige, her cheeks flushed and her demeanour charmingly tipsy after just one cup, smiled and said, "Don't worry, one cup won't get you drunk. Aunt won't notice. Since we're out, let loose a little. Dorgon isn't coming back today anyway, so what if we get drunk?"

Da Yuer's hand tightened around the cup. Drink it, she thought. Let it all end here. Stop hoping for children. Her only purpose in life now would be to raise her three daughters and see them married. That was the only thing left for her to do.

"I'll try it," Da Yuer said, downing the cup in one go. The liquor wasn't spicy, but it was potent. Her body grew warm, and she felt an involuntary excitement. She poured herself another cup and filled Qiqige's as well. They clinked their cups lightly and drank again.

"You know..." Qiqige was already a bit drunk. This liquor was no joke. She stuffed a large piece of beef into her mouth, chewing roughly as she threw caution to the wind. "Dong'e... that child... I hope she never grows to look like anyone else. If she stays looking like Dorgon forever, I can at least keep fooling myself..."

Qiqige rambled on, downing cup after cup of liquor until she gradually began to cry. She grabbed Da Yuer's hand and said, "You know, I really hate it when Dorgon holds Dong'e. I hate how much he dotes on her. Every time I see them being affectionate, it makes me sick. Yuer, how can I get better? I try to convince myself every day, but I keep going back and forth. I love Dong'e so much, I really do, but why couldn't she have been mine..."

Da Yuer had thought she would be the one pouring out her troubles to Qiqige, but given her connection to Hong Taiji, she couldn't speak freely. Instead, it was Qiqige who ended up venting, and as she drank cup after cup, quickly became drunk.

"Qiqige?"

Outside, the sky was gradually darkening. The maids had come in once to report that the little princesses were still sound asleep, but Qiqige, already somewhat drunk, irritably dismissed them, telling them not to disturb her again.

"Qiqige, wake up!" Da Yuer patted Qiqige's cheeks. By now, Qiqige had collapsed into Da Yuer's arms, fast asleep.

Da Yuer picked up the bottle and poured herself another cup, downing it in one go. Her body felt warm, and her icy heart seemed to thaw a little. The liquor was truly delicious, and she giggled foolishly, pouring herself yet another cup.

Outside Rui Qinwang's residence, Dorgon suddenly returned. He had originally thought he would be busy until late at night and had planned to stay at the military camp, but things had gone smoothly. Seeing that it was still early, he decided to come home and have dinner with Qiqige.

"Her Highness Zhuang Fei is here?" Dorgon's heart skipped a beat, especially when the steward mentioned that the Consort and Zhuang Fei were drinking.

"They're drinking Guizhou white liquor. It's very strong," the steward said. "Your Highness, I didn't go into the inner courtyard, but the maids said they're probably already drunk. The lady ordered the servants not to approach, so we don't know what's happening inside."

Dorgon knew Qiqige's tolerance for alcohol—she was likely already passed out. But what about Da Yuer? Was it appropriate for him to enter now? If Da Yuer lost her composure, he couldn't let others see her...

His thoughts were a jumble, but he had already walked into the inner courtyard. The servants didn't follow, leaving him alone as he approached the door.

"Qiqige, do you remember why I came to Shengjing? You were chosen by the Great Consort Abahai to be her daughter-in-law. She loved you so much, wanted to groom you to be the next Great Consort, right? But me? I was sent here to have children. I was just a tool for Khorchin and Hong Taiji to produce heirs. I told you, I had to be obedient, I had to be obedient... Look at me now..."

Dorgon stood at the door and saw Da Yuer holding Qiqige, crying. Her whole body shook with sobs, and the room was filled with the strong scent of alcohol. Both women were clearly drunk.

"Now... I can't even be a tool for having children anymore..." Da Yuer wailed. "I'm nothing now..."

Dorgon unconsciously stepped closer. Qiqige was completely unconscious, and Da Yuer cradled her head, crying herself but still absentmindedly rubbing Qiqige's cheeks. Suddenly, she saw Dorgon, her gaze blank, as if she hadn't fully processed his presence.

Over a decade ago, the kind and beautiful young consort had handed Dorgon a handkerchief, wiping away his tears. Now, more than ten years later, she was crying in front of him.

"Yuer," Dorgon murmured, seemingly intoxicated by the scent of liquor. He reached out, cupping Da Yuer's face. "Don't cry, Yuer. I'm here for you."

Da Yuer stared at him blankly, not resisting as he held her face. She giggled, "Dorgon? You're back?"

Hearing her call his name again—not "Rui Qinwang" or "Fourteenth Beile"—Dorgon's heart surged, and in a moment of lost rationality, he leaned in and kissed her lips.

The moment their lips touched, Da Yuer jolted awake, her eyes widening in panic. She scrambled backward on the kang, struggling to put distance between them.

Her gaze locked onto Dorgon, "What are you doing... Dorgon, what are you doing?"

Dorgon, as if throwing all caution to the wind, placed one knee on the edge of the kang, trying to close the gap between them. "Yuer, I love you. Don't you know that? Do you remember all those years ago, you were the only one who comforted me? For over a decade, my heart has always—"

"Don't say it! Don't say it!" Da Yuer shook her head frantically, retreating until her back was against the wall. "Dorgon, you can't do this. You can't do this to Qiqige. Do you know how much pain it would cause her? Do you know how much pain it causes me?"

"Yuer?"

"My heart... my heart hurts so much I don't even want to live anymore. Why isn't it me? Dorgon, why doesn't Hong Taiji love me?" Da Yuer was clearly half-drunk, half-awake, and soon snapped back to reality, wiping her tears haphazardly. She forced a smile at Dorgon, "You should go. Leave now. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Dorgon, don't hurt Qiqige. I beg you, never hurt her. Qiqige loves you, just like I love Hong Taiji..."

As she spoke, she began to cry again, "Why isn't it me? Am I not good enough?"

Dorgon's heart ached as if pierced by a knife. He reached out to embrace her, but she kept shaking her head, grabbing a cushion to shield herself. "Go, please go. Qiqige will wake up soon... she'll wake up..."

"Alright, I'll go. I'll leave right now," Dorgon said, tears in his eyes. "But Yuer, promise me you won't give up on life. Live well, and don't hurt yourself."

Da Yuer nodded vaguely, her mind drifting between clarity and confusion. The only thing she was certain of was that she couldn't let Dorgon touch her.

Dorgon stepped back, glancing over his shoulder several times before finally leaving the bedroom. He lingered by the window for a moment, then steeled himself and rushed out of the house, heading back to the military camp.

Inside the bedroom, Da Yuer, now deeply intoxicated, cried until she gradually lost consciousness. Her body slumped to the side, and she fell asleep next to Qiqige.

As the night deepened, in Guanju Palace, Hong Taiji was chatting and laughing with Hairanju when he noticed the commotion of people coming and going from Qingning Palace. He sent Baoqing to inquire.

Baoqing returned quickly and reported, "Your Majesty, Her Highness Zhuang Fei hasn't returned from Rui Qinwang's residence. Her Majesty sent someone to ask, and the reply was that Her Highness is too drunk to be moved. They're asking whether to bring her back now or wait until she wakes up."

Hong Taiji's brow furrowed, "Yuer hasn't returned yet?"