Chapter 12 Present

This is where the preface Was Extracted

Married 12

My mind is everywhere, yet nowhere at all. Lying in this comfortable bed, surrounded by softness and warmth, is utterly pointless. I don't feel its comfort, its solace. My soul is adrift, a million miles away, while my body lies here, beside him. The weight of his presence, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, it's all just a distant hum, a reminder that I'm not fully present.

He sleeps like a baby, serene and untroubled, as if marrying me was the solution to all his problems. His peaceful slumber is a stark contrast to the turmoil brewing inside me. I watch him, mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and wonder how he can be so calm, so trusting. Does he truly believe our union has erased all his worries, or is he just blind to the chaos that lies ahead?

"Jamal, you rascal," I whispered, my breath hot against his ear, "do you trust me?" The words dripped with venom, a stark contrast to the gentle tone I feigned. His harmless, defenseless, and unconscious form lay beside me, oblivious to the turmoil brewing within. In that moment, I felt an unsettling urge to wrap my hands around his neck, to squeeze the life out of him, to silence the peaceful snores that mocked my own inner chaos.

Never settle for something less than your dreams,' Daniel Steel wrote in Bitter Sweet. But what have I settled for? Have I ruined my life for him? I've handed over my youth, my vibrancy, my essence. Is he worth it? What about his own youth, his own dreams? Why did he choose me? He could have had anyone, someone younger, prettier... like his precious Ruby. Ugh, I'm not ready for her drama! She's probably posted about me by now, and I'm trending - the man snatcher, the home wrecker. What will the world think of me? The thought sends a shiver down my spine.

"Hey, hey, hey! No sulking on our first night together!" Kina teased, her voice playful but firm. "We've got our whole lives to worry about the what-ifs. Tonight, let's just focus on the yeses. Yes to us, yes to our love, yes to this crazy journey we're on. So, come on, Kim! Let's make this night count. I'm not miserable, and I don't want you to be either."

"Kina, stop. I'm not in the mood," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Shut up Kinavieve, what about mom, and Dad and everyone?!" Oh miss goodie-goodie joins the argument!

"What about them? We can't let Kim suffer because of those from the past." I don't usually agree with Kinavieve but she was taking my side.

"Kiandra just shut up! Okay we just have to find a way that's it." Somebody tell Kina I have a lot in my plate and I'm running out of time, especially not for arguments!

"Both of you, stop bickering! I don't have time for this. I need to sleep," I whispered softly so as not to wake up the man next to me. I turned and faced Jamal, who was sleeping peacefully. I felt my heart skip a beat. This handsome man was sleeping next to me.

What did he invest in this marriage? We never dated, but we just got married. Who on earth does that? Looking at those lips, they kept inviting me to kiss him. I didn't dare, I just controlled myself.

"See, this is what I'm talking about... Just kiss him, he'll make love to you," Kina demanded.

"You're only thinking of yourself here," I snapped. "Kina, I think it's best if both of you leave. Just leave..." I almost shouted.

"Where do you want us to go? We're not going anywhere!" Kia argued.

"Kim... Are you okay? I thought I heard you say something. Who are you talking to?" Jamal asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, we had woken him up.

"See what you've done..." I whispered to Kia and Kina, my eyes darting between them.

"It's nothing... I guess it was just a bad dream," I lied, trying to brush it off.

"You're still thinking about today, aren't you?" Jamal said, his voice laced with concern. "I'm sorry for everything. It didn't have to be like this. I promise we'll have a proper wedding when our parents find out." He sounded sincere, but now he was the one who looked confused.

What on earth was happening? Just yesterday I was single, and the next day I had a husband.