A totally platonic hair wash

"You're so—ugh... You're insufferable. You know that, right? And stop saying such... such stuff in the middle of conversations," Elias grumbled, his face still covered by his hands as he let out an exasperated sigh. Instead of giving Raphael a chance to make another smart-ass reply, he decided to focus on the matter at hand. "Seriously though... I need to wash my hair. And I need my products. I'm not touching whatever five-in-one thing you're using here, whether it's from Walmart or Target." 

Raphael couldn't help but tease at the blonde's indignant tone, "Aw, did I strike a nerve? I was just teasing you, no need to get all defensive. Don't worry, Your Royal Highness, I won't force you to use my peasant soap on your precious hair. In fact, I'll bring your fancy products back from your place." Though he was teasing, his last sentence was clearly genuine. 

Although Elias had been grumbling earlier, now that it came to this, he felt slightly embarrassed. On one hand, he did want his products... On the other hand, he didn't want to trouble Raphael any more than he already had. In an almost meek voice, he asked, "...But I don't want to trouble you... It's no trouble, right?" 

Raphael's smile softened slightly, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he noticed the change in tone. He gently twirled a strand of light blonde hair around his finger before pressing his lips against it. He looked up, his lips still brushing against the lock of hair. 

"Aw, now you're being considerate. But don't worry, it's no trouble." 

"-After all, I can't have your precious hair on my conscience now, can I?" 

"I—but—" Elias opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to formulate a response as he saw Raphael still kissing his hair. Finally, he seemed to recover and first snatched back the lock of hair. He grumbled, "But... my place is far from here. I don't want to take up your time just for my comfort..." 

"Oh, you," Raphael almost cooed. How could he not when Elias was being so cute? He cupped Elias' pale cheeks, squishing them a few times, and just when he felt he was about to have his hands swatted away, he spoke. "Listen. If you're worried about my time—want to see my schedule for today?" 

Not knowing where Raphael was going with this, Elias nodded. "Okay...?" 

Raphael kept one hand on Elias' cheek, almost regretful as he had to remove the other one to take out his phone. He scrolled through it before giving Elias a mischievous smile and holding up the screen. "See? That's my schedule for today." 

Elias glanced at the screen. There was a single sentence on the schedule for the whole day: *Taking care of His Royal Highness.* 

"You—ugh." He pushed away the other's hand with the phone, though it was rather half-hearted. Damn this man and his stupid, sultry smirk! 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elias was scrolling through his phone idly when Raphael returned. He glanced up. "You brought everything I wrote on the list? The skincare too, I hope." 

Yes, he had given him a list. A person who used a five-in-one couldn't be expected to understand everything and bring the right things for his routine, after all. 

He saw Raphael nod and continued, "No trouble finding them, I hope?" His tone was almost smug as he added, "My place is rather organized, I know." 

Raphael raised an eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips at the other's smug tone. "Someone's feeling proud, hm? Though I have to admit, your place is organized. Good decor you've got in there." He sat down beside Elias as the other began to take out the products and 'check' if he had actually bought the correct ones. 

Raphael rolled his eyes at the blonde's actions, remarking, "Some of those products sound absolutely ridiculous. I mean, separate hair serums and hair masks for each season? That just seems excessive." 

"Say that when you start balding at forty." 

That earned an amused chuckle from the lawyer. He raised his arms in an exaggerated surrender motion. "Alright, alright. I stand corrected. I'll just let you and your hair care routine do its thing," he said teasingly before switching to a more 'serious' tone. "But just so you know, if I start going bald at forty, I'm blaming you and your obsession with fancy hair products." 

Elias gave him a blank, unimpressed look. "...How are those even remotely related?" 

Raphael spoke in a patronizing tone, as if explaining the secrets of the universe to a toddler. "Hmm, let's see. If I start balding at forty, it's obviously because my hair can't handle the competition with your fancy hair care products. You and your luxurious routine, making my hair feel inferior on a daily basis. It's no wonder it can't handle the pressure and gives up on me at the earliest opportunity." 

"...You're absolutely ridiculous, you know that?" Elias huffed. 

"You know you love it." Raphael shrugged, a cheeky grin on his face. His smile soon became more mischievous as he got a thought. He didn't say anything, though, and just waited for Elias to have the same realization. 

He had bandages on his hands. How was he going to wash his hair? 

Elias looked up, his eyes widening as he realized he couldn't exactly do it himself. He blushed. 

A soft, quiet mumble passed his pouty lips. "You're such an ass... You planned this, didn't you?" he accused, even if he himself knew he was being ridiculous. 

Raphael's smile only widened at the accusation. "Oh, of course. I absolutely conspired with the higher powers to give your hair grease for this exact moment. Wonder how you figured out my super evil plan," he quipped sarcastically. 

Elias groaned. He knew the other was messing with him, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated. He crossed his arms over his chest, his voice almost whiny. "Ugh, stop with your stupid jokes... I'm seriously not in the mood." 

"...Just help me wash my hair, okay? You know I can't do it with these bandages on." He knew exes didn't do such things with each other. God, who was he kidding? Exes didn't wake up next to each other, didn't have coffee together, didn't banter like an old married couple- exes didn't do a single damn thing they'd been doing. He'd crossed that boundary with Raphael long ago. 

Raphael chuckled, shaking his head and holding his hands up in a surrender motion. "Alright, alright. No more jokes. I'll help you wash your hair." 

He walked over to Elias, gently placing his hands on the other's shoulders before swiftly picking him up in a bridal carry. The blonde's expression was so adorably startled that he couldn't help but boop their noses together, which earned yet another yelp and a growing blush from the doctor. 

Elias's face turned red as a tomato at the sudden movement and then the nose thing. He let out a surprised squeak, his arms instinctively wrapping around Raphael's neck to steady himself as the other started walking. "Hey! I can walk on my own, you know!" 

When there was no reply, Elias rolled his eyes before begrudgingly settling against Raphael's chest. He couldn't deny that a small part of him enjoyed the intimacy, but he wasn't about to admit it out loud. He grumbled again, his voice laced with concern, "Put me down. You don't have to carry me like this. You'll hurt yourself." 

Raphael chuckled, finally giving him a verbal response. "Nonsense. How could I get hurt just carrying your petite frame? I'm a lot harder to hurt than you think, darling." 

He continued, his eyes softening as he noticed the genuinely worried look in the doctor's eyes, "I'm perfectly fine. Besides, your ankle, remember? I'll be damned if I let you put any weight on it under my care. Just sit tight, princess."