The Sweater

As I looked everywhere, I could see nothing but darkness. I could hear nothing but his voice, demanding my laughter. I could hear his stomping footsteps echo around the room and then silence. Suddenly, the swish of a belt being struck on flesh and I awoke, from one nightmare into another. That was what my life was now. A nightmare. It had been three days since then and each day had been, worse than the previous one. The memory of the day after the beating still sent shivers down my spine and clogged my throat with screams begging to be heard.

It had been a Monday. The weekend was over. I had to go to school. I had woken up with the shower still running and had to turn it off before I could do anything else.

My entire body ached and the cuts were turning yellow on the edges. Every movement made me want to scream in pain. Yet I kept quiet, made sure my footsteps were silent as I left the bathroom and entered my room. It had been the shortest and scariest journey of my life.

The house was silent and I had to be even quieter. As I walked, the slick, icy floor caused my feet to slip and stumble. Every creak of the floorboards sounded like a gunshot at that time.

Reaching my room, I breathed a sigh of relief. I had done it. As I started getting ready, I was grateful that my arms and lower legs were free of wounds. My face was a bit bruised but I could cover it with a bandage and say that I fell.

I did not want anyone at school to know my situation. I knew I would be an outcast if it got out that my fath- that man had killed my ma.

I also knew that I would report it to the police as soon as possible.

I opened the big medicine box and took out the cotton and bandages. Ma was a nurse so we always had lots of those.

Bandaging myself, I got lost in the memories of her gentle hands cleaning my wounds and patching me up.

I didn't have even half of her grace and expertise. Looking at myself in the mirror, I looked like a mummy, and that put a smile on my face. However it died quickly at the thought of passing by undetected.

I put on my shirt as I was making a plan and I winced as the rough texture rubbed against my abdomen, irritating the stomach wound. I had forgotten to bandage it and was now facing the consequences.

Putting on the belt was even more agonizing but I didn't want to be punished.

Now, my plan had been simple, take my bag and tip toe through the living room. He would be passed out anyway.

As I enacted the first part, I had been very queasy about the next part of it because I would have to see my ma, no, the body again.

As I had stepped out of my room and to the living room, I had been shocked to see the place clean and free of all the blood. He had erased all the evidence and I saw him passed out on the couch.

I tip toed quietly past him and reached the door. I knew that even without evidence, just me being an eye witness would do the trick.

As I had been putting my shoes on, I heard the sound of glass shattering and suddenly there was something sharp at my throat, a broken liquor bottle.

I can still remember every word he said and that foul stench of alcohol in his breath.

He whispered, " don't you dare say a word to anyone, girlie, or you'll be where your mother is ."

That day had been a blur like all the others. And now it was Thursday. I had to go to school again. The cuts had started to heal but I still winced as the roughly put bandages rubbed against them at each movement.

He lets me go to school as long as I don't reveal anything to anyone.

Once again, like a dance, I tip toe through the living room and into the hallway. He was once again passed out on the couch, without a care in the world, and I couldn't help but wish he remained like that forever, but I knew that come evening my bruises shall be renewed.

I let those thoughts leave my mind as I knew that I had to power through another day. Another day of lying about my mom visiting her maike, of lying about the reason I wasn't bringing any lunch, lying about why I was wearing a sweater in summer.

The sun bore down on me as I walked, this always made me wonder why my house was so cold but upon some pondering I came to the conclusion that a house where murders happen in cold blood and where fear can me senses in every corner can never be warm, nor welcoming.

My 'friends' who used to cling to me everyday have now abandoned me, seeing as they get nothing from me, no lunch, no jokes, no fun.

I still sit on the first bench but I'm grateful to God that nobody has noticed my stuff movement.

Then again, I'm disappointed in god, what had I ever done to make my ma leave me forever and to get such a cruel man for a father? Nothing.

I had always been a good girl, did as was told yet still met such misfortune.

The sound of the approaching bus reached my ears and I looked up just in time for it to stop right in front of me.

Oh right, I was going to school. By bus.

I quickly climbed into the bus, near the back, away from my usual seat at the front. Away from all the teachers. Away from any prying eyes that would see through my mask.

It was a bit amusing I think. The sweet, perfect, topper Amba now left with no friends and an alcoholic father.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the bus stopping at a new stop. It never stopped after I got on. I saw a tall girl enter, probably eleven years old, and search for a seat. The only seats empty were in the back. Nobody sat there because this part of the bus bumped too much at each speed breaker and pot hole .

I saw the girl coming to the back but what really caught my eye was the sweater she was wearing. In summer. Like me.

There were around four seats completely empty, yet she chose to sit right beside me.

I was intrigued and a bit scared, did she know something?

The entire bus ride, I studied her as much as I could without actually conversing, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but my mind was still stuck on that sweater.

It was something that was common between us. No one else wore a sweater in summer.

We reached the school and she got off, as did I. I tried to follow her with my sight but she disappeared into the crowd of children.

I cursed my luck once more but moved on from it, adjusting my mind to the fast pace of school. As I was walking, I felt a pair of eyes on me, I looked around but everyone was busy with their own thing.

I concluded that it was just me being paranoid.