Chapter 140: As Long as You're Still Alive, There's Hope

After saying goodbye to Kushida in a good mood, Kanda Shuichi arrived at Room 236 on the second floor. This was a room Kanda Shuichi had rented using his private points.

Today was a day off, so there were no exam discussions, meaning no one else would be coming to the second floor.

Once Kanda Shuichi entered the room, he realized that it wasn't a shared room, but more like a single room, similar to the ones at school, though with fewer facilities.

There was no kitchen, but there was a bed, desk, TV, bathroom, and even a fridge, stocked with some common drinks. There were also two sofas next to a small table.

Kanda Shuichi sat down on one of the sofas, waiting for his guest.

And who was the guest? Of course, it was Hirata's so-called girlfriend, Karuizawa Kei.

Kanda Shuichi took a moment to shake off the cheerful mood Kushida had given him, then began thinking about Karuizawa Kei.

Knock, knock, knock!

The sound of someone knocking on the door brought Kanda Shuichi back to reality.

He walked to the door, peered through the peephole to confirm who it was, and then opened the door.

"Welcome, Karuizawa," Kanda Shuichi smiled. "Before you come in, I have a question. To get something, you have to give something. Are you ready to pay the price?"

"I..." Karuizawa hesitated, "What do I have to give?"

"That depends on what you want," Kanda Shuichi replied.

This was a fair exchange, the choice Kanda Shuichi gave Karuizawa Kei. If she just wanted something from him, then she could leave right now.

I'm not Hirata Yosuke, Kanda Shuichi thought. Though I'm the gentlest man in Class D, I'm not as selfless as Hirata.

After thinking for a moment, Karuizawa Kei stopped looking conflicted, and her eyes grew firm.

"Looks like you've made up your mind, then come in," Kanda Shuichi said, stepping aside to let her enter the room. He then gently closed the door behind her.

"Sit down."

Kanda Shuichi pointed to one of the sofas, then sat down on the other one.

Watching Karuizawa Kei, who seemed nervous, Kanda Shuichi found it hard to connect her with the domineering person he saw in class.

"Karuizawa Kei, for the past nine years, you've been bullied by students at various schools, until you came here and used Hirata as your shield, living like a parasite."

Kanda Shuichi began analyzing Karuizawa Kei's situation.

"But once you lose Hirata's protection, with just one opportunity, you'll revert back to being at the bottom of the food chain."

"No! I absolutely don't want that kind of life!" Karuizawa Kei suddenly shouted, interrupting him. She hugged her arms tightly, her face filled with fear.

"Please, Kanda, I don't want to go back to that life!"

Just pointing out her current situation was enough to make Karuizawa lose her composure. This was enough to prove how harsh her past life had been.

If his past life was darkness, then her current life was light. For someone who has seen the light after living in darkness, they would never want to return to the dark, no matter the cost.

This is human nature!

"That's right, I am— a parasite, a weak creature who can't survive on its own. But even I don't want to go back to my old life, I don't want to go through the same things again. Why did I have to face such things? Why do I have to suffer like this? I just want to protect myself. Why, what did I do wrong?!"

Karuizawa Kei's tone shifted from self-mockery to fear, then confusion, and finally to hysteria.

Karuizawa didn't do anything wrong, but in this world, being weak... is a sin.

Everyone in this world works hard to overcome fear and to secure an environment where they can live without worry.

Achieving fame, controlling others, and earning money — all of this is for gaining power and security.

Karuizawa chose to pursue fame, but simply gaining fame isn't enough. Without enough power to back it up, all of it is just an illusion, as fragile as a moon reflected in water or a castle in the air.

Kanda Shuichi quietly listened to her, waiting for her emotions to settle. Then, he picked up the cold water that had been sitting on the table and poured it over Karuizawa's head.

Karuizawa's fragile heart was like a broken mirror pieced together, protected by her desire to shield herself from the outside world. 

But in her current state, this protection wouldn't last forever. One day, she wouldn't be able to hold it up anymore, and a stronger force would mercilessly tear down the defense surrounding the broken mirror.

And when that happens, Karuizawa would likely choose the same path as Hirata's friend, Sugimura — ending it all.

What Kanda Shuichi had to do was to completely shatter her broken heart before that time came, and then, when she was at her lowest, plant a seed inside her, a seed that was small at first but would eventually grow one day.

For this, Kanda Shuichi needed to understand what kind of despair she had experienced, and then bring her an even deeper despair!

Pouring the water over her was just the beginning.

But this beginning was already hard for Karuizawa to bear.

The cold water slid from her head to her cheeks and then down her collarbone into her clothes. The memories from the past began attacking her relentlessly.

Tears started to fall, and her body began to tremble.

"Stop..." 

"Please, stop, stop..." 

"Forgive me..." 

"I'll behave..." 

"I'll fix it..." 

Just being splashed with a bottle of cold water triggered Karuizawa's painful memories, causing her to lose her composure and beg for mercy.

Was this the leader of that little group? Don't make me laugh!

Well, nine years — a full nine years of bullying. Anyone else would have been broken by now. Hirata's friend, after just over a year of bullying, broke down and begged for death.

But Karuizawa endured for nine years. How many people have nine years? That's why Kanda Shuichi truly admired this girl, and that's why he decided to do something.

"What else?" 

Kanda Shuichi extended his finger and lifted Karuizawa's chin, forcing her tear-streaked face to face him. 

But all he could see in her face was pure terror.

"Speak."

His calm tone carried an undeniable authority, and Karuizawa's tears fell in big drops.

"What did they do to you?"

A smile suddenly appeared on Karuizawa's face, one that looked like a broken doll being played with.

"What else could they have done? They put thumbtacks in my indoor shoes, dead mice in the desk drawer, poured dirty water on me when I went into the bathroom, and wrote 'slut' or 'escort' on my uniform."

Having her hair pulled, being punched and kicked, just about anything imaginable ah ... so much so that she can't even remember it anymore."

No, it was definitely more than that, Karuizawa was hiding something.

Kanda Shuichi, with her intuition, sensed that Karuizawa Kei was hiding something, and if he didn't figure it out then it wouldn't count as completely destroying her, and the difficulty of planting the seed would skyrocket.

"What else are you hiding?"

"No, nothing ..."

Except that her eyes were unconsciously directed towards the left side of her stomach.

Was it there?

Following her line of sight, Kanda Shuichi also looked towards the bottom of her left breast, then reached out her hand.

"No!"

Karuizawa covered there, located below her breasts, with strength she didn't know where.

"Let go of your hand."

Kanda Shuichi's emotionless words rang in Karuizawa's ears, but Karuizawa still covered the left side of her stomach.

"If you refuse, leave from here, I won't tell anyone about your past, but you have to be prepared to go back to those days."

"Hirata can't save you, the only one who can is me!"

"Now, I'll say it again, let go of your hand."

Kanda Shuichi's words were like the whispers of a demon, gradually devouring Karuizawa's heart, and then her hands hung down helplessly as well, her expression beginning to fixate, just like a delicate doll.

Seeing that her opponent no longer resisted, Kanda Shuichi began to undo the buttons on her chest one by one.

Since she didn't know what was going on, Kanda Shuichi chose the simplest method.

When everything was revealed, Kanda Shuichi also saw the reason that made Karuizawa fall into despair.

Underneath her breasts, which were wrapped in blue underwear, there was a stark scar that was absolutely disproportionate to her beautiful skin. It was a mark that looked like it had been cut open by a sharp knife, and the wound was definitely not shallow.

So, it wasn't as if she hadn't fought back during the nine years of bullying, but telling her parents would make the bullies worse, and telling the school would make it look like they didn't know.

She'd tried and failed to fight back, and the fatal scar was proof of that.

Then, perhaps God played a joke on her and brought her to this school.

Then she began to change herself, to alter her lifestyle, to actively seek shelter from the strong, to live like a parasite.

And her first host is Hirata Yosuke.

But when Hirata Yosuke wasn't enough to shelter her, she started to panic and that's why she asked Hirata to get back at the three Manabe men with violence.

That's why she wasn't so resistant when Hirata brought Kanda Shuichi to meet her.

Because after nearly six months of observation, she learned that Kanda Shuichi was stronger than Hirata, not physically, but something indefinable.

That's why she took the initiative to explain her relationship with Hirata's fake couple to Kanda Shuichi when they met last night.

Everything she did was so that she could gain Kanda Shuichi's protection.

For the sake of all this, even though she was treated like this, she still didn't run away, instead she let Kanda Shuichi do whatever he wanted.

Looking at Karuizawa, who was like a broken doll, even if Kanda Shuichi took her body here, she wouldn't encounter any resistance, right?

But that would be too meaningless.

Kanda Shuichi stretched out her right hand and caressed the scar that had almost taken Karuizawa Kei's life.

Then, Kanda Shuichi's hand, began to go upwards, then all the way to Karuizawa's snow-white neck, and then pressed it down onto the back of the sofa with a slight force ...

After only a few seconds, Karuizawa's hands subconsciously grabbed Kanda Shuichi's hands that were choking her neck, and her legs started to struggle, well, the body's instinctive resistance was still there.

After another two seconds, Kanda Shuichi released Karuizawa Kei.

"Cough ... cough cough ..."

The brief lack of oxygen caused Karuizawa to gasp for air, accompanied by the occasional cough that brought her back to life from that doll-like state.

Just moments ago, she felt the shadow of death once again, despair gripping her once more before she began to fight back, and then, she succeeded.

"Don't forget that feeling."

Kanda Shuichi resumed his seat on the couch, looked at the gasping Karuizawa, and spoke faintly.

What he did was simple, that was to make Karuizawa Kei resist successfully once, and as long as he could resist successfully once, then there would be a second time.

"Why?"

"The greatest despair is death, then conversely, as long as one is not dead, there is still hope for everything."

"Any life wants to survive, no life is rejected by this world at birth, those who say that others are better off dead, just listen."

"From today onwards, I will protect you from others, be it Hirata, or Machida, whatever they can do, I can do, and whatever they can't I can do."

Kanda Shuichi's words caused Karuizawa's spirit to drift a bit before she looked up at Kanda Shuichi.

"Are you saying that you can stop Manabe and the girls?"

"This kind of thing, it's just too easy, it'll be over soon."

Glancing at the disheveled Karuizawa, Kanda Shuichi stood up.

"You can use this room as much as you want until the end of the vacation, here's the key."

After placing the access card on the table, Kanda Shuichi turned to leave.

"Wait, what do I ... have to do?"

Karuizawa's words caused Kanda Shuichi to pause.

"That's for you to consider, and I hope you won't initiate trouble for me, like this time, I don't want it to happen again."

After throwing down those words, Kanda Shuichi left the room, taking the door with him in the process.

Whew~~~

Damn, playing this kind of role is so tiring... 

But this way, Karuizawa's heart will slowly become stronger, right? As long as she doesn't have to face death again, she shouldn't have anything to be afraid of.

No, even if she meets with death, she should still be able to fight back.

After Kanda Shuichi left, Karuizawa took off her wet clothes and underwear, then walked naked into the restroom.

Looking at the hideous scar, Karuizawa reached out her right hand to caress it, the touch that was completely different from her smooth skin was unpleasant, then she brought her hand to her neck and slowly exerted force ...

As long as he wasn't dead, then was there hope for everything?

Had he, too, been through something?

Turning on the shower, warm water drenched from the showerhead, washing away the tearstains from Karuizawa Kei's face in a matter of moments.

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